Posts tagged "Reese Witherspoon"

The 2015 MET Gala

The 2015 MET Gala featuring Rihanna’s ginormous dress, Miley Cyrus’ pelvis, Kendall Jenner’s sideboob, and whatever the fuck’s on Sarah Jessica Parker’s head.

By: The Superficial / May 5, 2015

The 87th Annual Academy Awards

Full Disclosure: Emma Stone and Jennifer Aniston are making this gallery look way more exciting than it really is. I genuinely feel bad tricking you with it.

By: The Superficial / February 23, 2015

Sean Penn’s Haiti Gala Had An Odd Guest List

Because the Golden Globes, it’s 47 after parties, and Johnny Depp’s Makeout Emporium weren’t enough, Sean Penn threw his annual Help Haiti Home Gala over the weekend featuring star-studded celebrities and a special guest who you’ll notice isn’t in any of the group shots or ever once near Sean Penn. However, this old pervert wa…

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2015

The 2015 Golden Globe Awards

I probably should’ve checked if there are any more awards show this month because here’s the rest of The 2015 Golden Globes that we may or may not have blown 75% of our photo budget on already. In our defense, it has boobs in it, and a Ruth Wilson pic that justifies whatever it i…

By: The Superficial / January 12, 2015

That’s Reese Witherspoon’s Butt In Yoga Pants

We’ve been talking about butts a lot lately including a look at their historical and artistic significance because this is an academic blog first, and a tits and ass bonanza second. So keeping with that tradition, here’s Reese Witherspoon‘s butt in yoga pants. It won an Oscar, so that seemed like good enough reason to…

By: The Superficial / October 2, 2014

Ben Affleck’s Penis Is In A Movie

Ben Affleck can’t do a single interview without being asked about Batman, but somehow he managed to crack the Internet’s secret code and started talking about his dick which is like dangling a set of keys in front of us. I don’t even know where I am anymore that’s how distracted how I am. Whose…

By: The Superficial / October 1, 2014

Emily Ratajkowski & Reese Witherspoon In Red

You’re probably thinking it’s a dick move to put Reese Witherspoon in a gallery with Emily Ratajkowski, and that I’m only doing it to make another joke about her being pregnant. And you’re right, but before I make the voices stop, I’d like to take a second to compliment Reese for holding her own eve…

By: The Superficial / September 29, 2014

Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘Reading Mean Internet Comments Is Just Like War’

(l to r) 1. Private Witherspoon, a 20-year-veteran who survived several online jokes about her chin, but in body only. Her family says she’s never been the same person since and often suffers from night terrors and alcohol abuse. 2. A pretentious cunt.

In my haste to slap together a link post thi…

By: The Superficial / May 29, 2014

Don’t Ask Reese Witherspoon To Pronounce Your Stupid French Last Name

Sometime during Rihanna‘s MET Gala after party, a possibly drunk Reese Witherspoon found herself in an elevator with Kate Upton, Zooey Deschanel and an iPhone-wielding Cara Delevingne who was given specific instructions to not make Reese pronounce her “fucking name” because it’s “that stupid French.” But because she’s southern charm personified, Reese followed that u…

By: The Superficial / May 8, 2014

The 2014 MET Gala: Sexy People In Fancy Clothes That Cost More Than Your House

So I can move on with my life and find out if other people are showing their boobs at other places, here’s the rest of The 2014 MET Gala featuring the return of Blake Lively‘s breasts (I left you for Hilary Duff. Don’t make this weird.), Emma Stone who’s apparently done with her Nosferatu phase,…

By: The Superficial / May 6, 2014

Yellow Grimace & The 71st Annual Golden Globes

Because I wasn’t fucking around when I said we’re getting in and out of the Golden Globes, here’s the rest of the shit you might possibly, but not really, need to know. Starting with these red carpet photos, this Ronan Farrow tweet which is so awesome, he has to be Sinatra’s son:…

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2014

It’s The Reese Witherspoon Bikini Pics

Thanks to already blowing over half our photo budget on Demi Moore and Gwyneth Paltrow, I didn’t think I’d be able to afford these new Reese Witherspoon bikini pics. But then I did some things that I’m not very proud of, and fortunately recorded should a certain senator not pass mandatory McRib legislation (No one

By: The Superficial / January 7, 2014

Why Hello, Reese Witherspoon In Heels

I make a lot of jokes about Reese Witherspoon being pregnant and.. being pregnant. But at the end of the day, she does keep her body in amazing shape for a woman who’s had three kids. (I’m banned from Facebook, aren’t I?) Which is why it’s a shame that she’s already pregnant again. Christ, you…

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2013

And Now A Moment For Reese Witherspoon Swimsuit Photos

Despite the fact we’ve posted The Shannon Twins, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Rihanna, Paris Hilton, Heidi Klum and Julia Pereira, we’re still not caught up on bikinis from Fourth of July Weekend, so here’s Reese Witherspoon who, for once, I’m not posting to accuse her of being pregnant, but as a woman for you to…

By: The Superficial / July 9, 2013

That’s Reese Witherspoon’s Butt

Before this year, Reese Witherspoon was always considered one of the good ones in Hollywood. She went to church every Sunday, sheltered young actors after their girlfriends got their vaginas licked by a director, tells her kids to never be like Chris Brown and Rihanna and chastened burgeoning actresses on making sex tapes. Yet i…

By: The Superficial / June 13, 2013

The Cop’s Dashboard Cam Recorded Reese Witherspoon’s Arrest. Yes.

Posted by Photo Boy

Remember when just reading the transcript for when Reese Witherspoon drunkenly freaked out on a cop was great? Well, the dash cam video from the cruiser (with clear audio) is even better because holy shit does chardonnay turn Reese into a surly diva. There’s even a part where she…

By: Photo Boy / May 3, 2013

The Reese Witherspoon Got Arrested On Purpose Theories Have Started

Prior to being arrested for drunkenly hanging out a car window, yelling at a cop and demanding to stand on American ground because she’s an America, Reese Witherspoon had a squeaky clean image which she also sometimes used to tell upcoming starlets not to take naked pictures, so one might suggest she’s also Satan. Anyway,…

By: The Superficial / April 23, 2013

Reese Witherspoon Is Sorry She Got Drunk And Played The ‘Do You Know Who I Am?’ Card

Seen here remarkably showing up to a screening of Mud last night, the same day news exploded all over the Internet that she and her husband were arrested for DUI and being a drunken crazy woman respectively, Reese Witherspoon would like to apologize for the following hilarious actions. Variety reports:

Toth was pulled…

By: The Superficial / April 22, 2013

It’s Cool, Reese Witherspoon, Talking On Your Phone Next To A Gas Pump Is Totally Safe

True story: The headline to this post started out as sarcastic until I checked to see if there really is a risk of cellphones causing explosions, and turns out it’s a myth. So now I look like an idiot while Reese Witherspoon looks mommishly hot in heels and jeans. But don’t worry, I brought a…

By: The Superficial / March 15, 2013

Reese, Cameron & Drew’s Beach Getaway:
The Crap I Missed – Friday 3.8.13

Well, I survived an entire week without Photo Boy. And just to prove I never needed him anyway, here’s Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore having a “girls getaway” in Mexico which is clearly a crazy sexy gallery that’s not at all filled with scary and depressing photos where Reese Witherspoon wins because I…

By: The Superficial / March 8, 2013
Page 1 of 4