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More R. Kelly stories

R. Kelly Is Dating A Teenager, Oh Good

R. Kelly still likes teenagers. Wonderful. More »


So R. Kelly Just Defended Bill Cosby


Someone Asked R. Kelly About Rape Again. It Didn’t Go Well.

“You believe these dumb fucks still pay to see us?”

“I know! We should both be in jail, but we’re not and we’re rich. Yay!” More »


Hopefully Lady Gaga Just Accidentally Pulled A Hannibal Buress

Posted by Photo Boy

Remember Lady Gaga? Merkin Lady…ran around naked in the woods that time? Not ringing any bells? Well, she used to be a pop singer, but now she just does naked onstage costume changes, blows polka dot penises, and dry humps her backup dancers. Anyway, this one time, she made… More »


Lady GaGa Didn’t Make A Song With R. Kelly. What Are You Talking About?

“Just a second, girl. Told that motherfucker I needed more bran…”

When the Village Voice published its interview with Jim DeRogatis detailing the graphic and extensive nature of R. Kelly’s alleged statutory rapes, almost everyone immediately asked what the fuck Lady GaGa was doing recording a song with him. Including Lady GaGa who… More »


R. Kelly Responded To The Village Voice. Oh, Good.

Early Monday evening, a hole was blown into the Internet after the Village Voice published an interview with Jim DeRogatis that made it impossible to laugh away the severity of R. Kelly’s numerous statutory rape accusations. It was a situation that most publicists would’ve advised their clients to let blow over except R. Kelly is… More »


R. Kelly Isn’t Funny Anymore

Let me just start off by apologizing for the fact that up until yesterday, I’ve definitely been one of the numerous assholes who found R. Kelly fucking hilarious in a crazy person who constantly says and/or sings ridiculous shit kind of way.

Not anymore.

If you haven’t seen or heard about… More »


Are Kanye West & R. Kelly Having A Crazy-Off? Because Jesus Christ

I don’t even know where to start here because in the past 24 hours both R. Kelly and Kanye West have spouted such spectacular horseshit that it’s a miracle the people who heard it spoken aloud for the first time didn’t scream in horror as their mind tore itself into two separate hemispheres that began… More »


Benedict Cumberbatch Read The Lyrics To R. Kelly’s ‘Genius’ (Cleanup, Aisle Your Pants)

Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch giving a dramatic reading of R. Kelly’s “Genius” from the album Black Panties, and there’s literally nothing more I need to say here because you should’ve clicked play seven words into the headline. Why are you even reading this? Why?!

Fun Fact: Britain spent a good portion of… More »


Oh, What’s That, Lady GaGa? You’re Marilyn Monroe And R. Kelly Is Obama?

MILEY CYRUS HAS A GIANT CAT PHOTO THAT ALSO WORKS AS A VAGINA JOKE.

Get back in your egg.

Photos: GettyMore »


Lady GaGa Made A Song With R. Kelly, Promoted It With Her Butt

Here’s Lady GaGa’s new single “Do What U Want” featuring R. Kelly. Which, as you can see, she decided to promote by having Terry Richardson shove a camera up her ass even though everyone knows Vagina Melvins are how you move units this quarter. Although, on the plus side, this spells extinction for Kim KardashianMore »


R. Kelly Got A Divorce Because Of ‘The Notebook’

“And so at the end of the movie, motherfucker from Drive’s all old and shit, right? And his wife… *wipes tear* excuse me, y’all… his wife she got amnesia and don’t even recognize him. And that’s when I thought to myself, wait a minute, how is it I drop motherfuckin’ roses out of a helicopter,… More »


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