Posts tagged "Police"

Anakin Skywalker Had A Police Chase

Jake Lloyd was arrested for reckless driving in Charleston, SC after leading police on a car chase and crashing into a tree.

The Superficial / June 22, 2015

The Devil Made Josh Duggar Molest His Sisters Because of Their Outfits

A giant wrap-up of all the shit happening with Josh Duggar who apparently molested his sisters because of their immodest dress. Makes perfect sense.

The Superficial / May 26, 2015

Take Pictures Of My Boy #BBare And You Get Your Shit Crashed Into, Son

Picture dis: You’re riding your ATV across da Canadian sunset wit #YoBestHo behind you, rubbin’ her fake titties all over yo back when outta nowhere, mothafuckin paparazzi show up in a minivan and start takin’ pictures! Now do you: A. Keep ridin’ dat ho in da sunset. 2. Tell them mothafuckas to step off. Or…

The Superficial / September 2, 2014

Shit, Y’All Know Dave & Buster’s Is #BBare’s House

YO! Getcha ass up off my boy’s skeeball. AND STAY OUT DA BALL PIT. Tap Maple Zizzurp:
Justin and Selena Gomez were at Dave & Buster’s Monday night when a fan started taking cell phone pics and video of the two. Law enforcement sources say … Justin lunged at the guy … in an attempt…

The Superficial / August 26, 2014

Suge Knight Got Shot 6 Times At Chris Brown’s Pre-VMAs Party

The VMAs haven’t even started yet, but already Iggy Azalea fell of a stage and one of Nicki Minaj’s backup dancers got bit by a boa constrictor which both are offensively inconsequential now in light of Suge Knight getting shot six fucking times at Chris Brown’s pre-VMAs party. TMZ reports:
And we know … co…

The Superficial / August 24, 2014

Jenny McCarthy’s Son Calls The Cops On Her, Is My New Favorite Person

Because her name’s Jenny McCarthy, Jenny McCarthy thought it’d be a great idea to talk about how shitty of a parent Jenny McCarthy is because – haha, you’ll never believe this – her son – hahaha – her 12-year-old son – BAHAHA – calls the cops on her all the time! AHAHAHA! For doing really…

The Superficial / July 28, 2014

The Police Are Telling Justin Bieber’s Neighbors To Place Him Under Citizen’s Arrest

After being called to Justin Bieber’s Beverly Hills condo six times over the weekend for noise violations from the parties he threw on both Saturday and Sunday night, the police have basically just said “fuck it” and are telling his neighbors to place him under citizen’s arrest if he does anymore stupid shit. TMZ reports:…

The Superficial / July 23, 2014

Hope Solo Seems Fun

For those of you who don’t know, soccer star Hope Solo was arrested over the weekend for domestic violence after she allegedly attacked her sister and 17-year-old nephew while drunk off her ass because she missed a flight. (I wonder how.) Her nephew even pulled a gun on her – albeit a BB gun &#8211…

The Superficial / June 24, 2014

Justin Bieber Turned Selena Gomez To The Dark Side (Get It? Because He’s Black)

On Monday night, Selena Gomez was spotted clubbing with Justin Bieber after spending the entire day with him in Malibu. And now last night, she had the cops called to her house after throwing a “rager” which is a term I didn’t think anyone born after 1982 actually uses, and yet here we are. TMZ…

The Superficial / June 18, 2014

The Situation Got Arrested For Punching His Brother In A Tanning Salon

Remember The Situation? It’s better if you don’t. The important thing is that you know he was arrested after getting into a fist fight with his brother in the tanning salon they own after employees called the cops when their paychecks bounced because New Jersey. TMZ reports:
Mike “Situation” Sorrentino was busted at Boca Tanning

The Superficial / June 18, 2014

Egging Was The Case That They Gave Biebs

Because the poh-leese ain’t got nuttin’ better to do then try and bring down The Teflon Don With A Giant King Dong, word on da streetz is my boy #BBare ’bout to get stuck with some bo’shit charges over eggin’ some mothafucka’s house. As if it ain’t enough he already lost a gotdamn soulja, y’all…

The Superficial / June 16, 2014

V. Stiviano’s Attacker Has Been Arrested

So remember the other day when I wrote about V. Stiviano being allegedly attacked and called a “nigger” by two men in New York, and I was like, “You guys, this definitely happened, and the last thing we should do is question her credibility while these perps are still out there in real life.” Well,…

The Superficial / June 4, 2014

That Guy Who Peed On Kanye West’s Wife Kicked The Window Out of A Cop Car

When we last left Ray J he was writing a song about how he hit Kim Kardashian’s ass first despite the fact she was still married to her first husband when they made their sex tape, but that’s neither here nor there because he just got arrested over the weekend for refusing to leave a…

The Superficial / June 2, 2014

JUSTIN #BBARE IS THE LAW, CAT

Yesterday, word got out that my boy #BBare, as in ladies be gettin’ bare for #BBare, was tryin’ to get stuck with some bullshit robbery charge over some ho at da batting cages saying he touched her iPhone or some shit. Which, maybe, mighta stuck on some lesser fool except all dem legal beagles forgot…

The Superficial / May 15, 2014

Mothaf*ckas Tryin To Stick Justin #BBare With A Robbery? RODNEY KING!

Just when my boy #BBare thinks he’s out, y’all mothafuckas pull him back in. But heavy is the head that wears the crown, naw mean? So let’s see what Donald Trump up charges the chump-ass poh-leese are trying to stick the Don Syrupleone of Pussytown with now. Twerk Midget Zapple:

Justin Bieber allegedly…

The Superficial / May 14, 2014

Alright, Which One of You C*cksuckers Arrested Alec Baldwin?

Alec Baldwin was arrested this morning after riding his bike the wrong way down Fifth Avenue. Which sounds pretty innocuous until you find out he was really arrested after being stopped by the police then going Alec Baldwin on them and now everything makes perfect sense. TMZ reports:

Here’s the crazy part …

The Superficial / May 13, 2014

UPDATE: Kurt Cobain’s Suicide Just Got Reopened

After recently developing 35 mm film that was forgotten for almost 20 years in an evidence locker, Seattle police have reopened the investigation into Kurt Cobain’s death, according to KIRO. Except let me save everybody a whole bunch of time and energy: It was Courtney Love. Courtney Love did it. Why do you think she&#8217…

The Superficial / March 20, 2014

Don’t Be A Menace To South Toronto While Drinking Your Juicy Juice In The Hood

The Russell Crowe in Gladiator-type shit epic of Justin B-Bare’s true Hollywood life just took it to whole nother level ’cause the blackest jigga to ever ice skate outta Canada is fuckin’ the poh-leece in not one, but TWO motherfuckin’ countries, y’all. I’m talkin’ USA, and that snowy bitch ridin’ our dick up north. TM…

The Superficial / January 30, 2014

Justin Bieber Got Arrested For DUI

Aww yeah, B-Bare’s up in you, Miami, and shit is poppin’ OFF. Models. Clubs. Street racing, POH-LECE. The numba one WILD KID is straight yolking dem asses. Make some NOOOOOOOOISSE. TMZ reports:

We’re told Bieber had just left a club and was driving a yellow Lamborghini at the time cops spotted him i…

The Superficial / January 23, 2014
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