Jessica Alba has hard nipples

A newly single Jessica Alba was spotted at a Beverly Hills drugstore yesterday looking pretty distressed. I’m guessing it’s because she’s cold and forgot her bra. Or maybe she’s unhappy with the store’s selection of detergents. Or maybe it’s because I turned her down for a date. It’s probably that last one. I… More »

Victoria Beckham has hard nipples

It sort of defeats the purpose of a bra when your nipples are made from solid diamond. No, wait, not diamond. The stuff they use to cut diamond. And it’s probably not good for Queen Latifah’s self esteem to be running into Victoria Beckham. It’d be like Lindsay Lohan running into Stephen Hawking. More »