Posts tagged "Pauly D"

Pauly D Has A Love Child

“Shit, is that a meteor? Did I do that?!”
I used to always joke that Jersey Shore was the more responsible show than Teen Mom because at least the spray-tanned guidos weren’t actively shitting kids into the gene pool. But then Snooki ruined all that, and now Pauly D has confirmed he knocked up a…

The Superficial | October 22, 2013 - 1:00 pm

Lindsay Lohan Hooked Up With Pauly D. Of Course.

In a new interview with Celebuzz, Snooki reveals that Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Pauly D a few years ago, so no wonder she keeps reminding people she used to bang Heath Ledger when he was high on heroin. It was literally the highest point of her love life because here’s a brief timeline of…

The Superficial | January 24, 2013 - 11:39 am

MTV Cancelled ‘Jersey Shore’

You might say they jet-packed the shark. — I’ll go kill myself now.
Speaking of New Jersey being the pride of America, MTV has finally decided to pull the plug on Jersey Shore which is really the only acceptable response to one of these kids successfully reproducing that doesn’t involve a shotgun and an outhouse…

The Superficial | August 30, 2012 - 1:19 pm

Public Service Announcement: Herpes is Airborne Now. Repeat. Herpes is Airborne Now.

“And so, gentlemen, what I propose is this: We take young men and women of ill repute who have over time acquired a myriad of diseases transmitted from intercourse, adorn them in provocative swimwear so as to be pleasing to the eye and then give them all jetpacks. From there, America’s shores will crumble paving

The Superficial | June 25, 2012 - 3:50 pm

Deena Cortese Won’t Stop Wearing Bikinis And Other News

- Chivettes Bored At Work still won’t make me want to work in an office. But good effort. [theCHIVE]
- Prince William is 30 now which just made a bunch of people feel really old. [Lainey Gossip]
- 21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity (Needs more Kate Upton.) [BuzzFeed]
- Gabriel Aubry

The Superficial | June 21, 2012 - 11:14 am

VMAS: All This Should’ve Died In The Hurricane, But Noooooooo

To further emphasize the fact it hasn’t showed music videos in over a decade yet still give out awards for them because its viewers just want to stare at moving pictures of anything, literally anything, MTV not only invited the cast of Jersey Shore (Minus The Situation who’s apparently going to shit into the hand…

The Superficial | August 28, 2011 - 11:31 pm

Chloe Sevigny is Dating Pauly D

For those of you who enjoyed the Chloe Sevigny bikini photos, you’re going to want to stop reading and go grab a coffee. For those of you who saw them and demanded unholy vengeance, you’re going to want to scoot up for this. Here’s Chloe and Jersey Shore star Pauly D at a Knicks game…

The Superficial | January 7, 2011 - 2:10 pm

I Found The Great Pumpkins: A Jersey Shore Halloween Post

Because we’re literally two steps away from being ruled by apes – And not even the super-evolved, smart kind. I’m talking the ones who spend all day masturbating in a tree. (Okay, maybe they are super-evolved.) – the cast members of Jersey Shore hosted Halloween parties across the country. For brevity/my own sanity’s sake, I…

The Superficial | November 1, 2010 - 2:48 am

This is Why They Hate Us

It’s probably wrong to wish a terrorist attack would’ve happened, but I don’t know any other way to describe the feeling I felt when I saw the cast of Jersey Shore ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange this morning. Seriously, such a flagrant display of American excess in one room couldn’t…

The Superficial | July 27, 2010 - 8:05 pm

They all get girlfriends.

Should I have said Spoiler Alert?
Here’s Pauly D and Vinny of Jersey Shore posing with their “girlfriends” in Miami because apparently MTV’s going to shoehorn in a storyline that doesn’t involve these kids forgetting what their nicknames are and/or drunkenly banging Cuban immigrants as they wash ashore. “I’m pretty sure I’m Cannoli and you’re…

The Superficial | May 17, 2010 - 9:16 pm


As part of MTV’s initiative to make me perpetually bleed from the cornea, Snooki was once again wedged into a swimsuit for a day of filming Jersey Shore in Miami. I personally love the part where Pauly D pretends she’s physically attractive enough to dry hump because you know they whipped out the contract on…

The Superficial | May 3, 2010 - 9:37 am

Pauly D will romance you

Here’s Jersey Shore’s Pauly D picking up some chicks in Miami yesterday and despite the fact MTV continues to embolden the robots by proving Americans will spend 60 minutes staring at anything bright and shiny, you really can’t fault these kids for being on the show. They’re getting paid to drunkenly bang people who want…

The Superficial | April 30, 2010 - 12:25 pm