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Rich Assholes In Halloween Costumes: Part 2

A whole bunch of beautiful people you’ll probably never have sex with in costumes, anyone?

Mike Redmond |

The One Without Herpes Got Married

Nicky Hilton got married. Giving of shits not required.

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Scientists Might Cure Cancer With Herpes

Paris Hilton might actually serve a purpose. Hold me.

Mike Redmond |

Paris Hilton Was In On The Plane Crash Prank

Paris Hilton was in on the plane crash prank. IS NOTHING PURE AND GOOD IN THIS WORLD?!

Mike Redmond |

Paris Hilton Suing Over Hilarious Plane Crash Prank That Was Hilarious

Paris Hilton will sue the crew of an Egyptian TV show for hilariously tricking her into believing she was about to die in a plane crash. …

Mike Redmond |

Paris Hilton Tricked Into Thinking She’s Dying In A Plane Crash, Anyone?

Paris Hilton was masterfully tricked into thinking she was about to die in a plane crash, and the video is amazing. …

Mike Redmond |

Rich F*cking Assholes Acting Like Hippies (Coachella)

It’s that time of the year again when celebrities spend thousands of dollars to hang out with other celebrities and pretend they’re all dirty hippies.

Mike Redmond |

The Rest of The 57th Annual Grammy Awards

The other people at the Grammys who didn’t get their own posts. Pity them. Pity their lowly lot in life.

Mike Redmond |

Haha! You Have To Look At Paris Hilton All Morning

Enjoy Paris Hilton’s maybe-implants while we switch over to the new site which technically you’re already looking at, but this post got lost, so just roll with it, alright?

Mike Redmond |

And Superman Has Herpes Now. Goddammit.

Here’s Henry Cavill leaving Chateau Marmont last night looking drunk as hell which explains him getting into a car with Paris Hilton. Although in his defense, her vagina probably looks like Doomsday, so I bet he just thinks he’s on set. Which is how I’m trying to lie to myself that I wouldn’t do the…

Mike Redmond |

A Paris Hilton Panty Flash Post? Why Not?

In case you can’t tell we’re circling the holiday toilet for news, I already wrote about Lindsay Lohan today, and now here’s Paris Hilton flashing her panties because it’s 2006 again. (To top it off, this is me punting my way to a Bertney post to complete the trifecta.) You’ll also notice Paris has a…

Mike Redmond |

Miley Cyrus Made Out With Paris Hilton

Miley Cyrus is always looking for some stupid, new edgy shit to do, and what’s more stupid and edgy than sticking your tongue in a petri dish of death and disease? Which is probably the nicest thing I’ll ever say about Paris Hilton’s mouth. The holidays just bring it out of me. Page Six reports:…

Mike Redmond |

Paris Hilton Makes $347,000/Hour To Press Play

In a world where Kim Kardashian’s app makes $85 million and Michael Bay movies dominate the box office, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Paris Hilton makes over six times the median yearly salary in the US in just one hour for pressing play. Page Six reports:

The 33-year-old hotel heiress…

Mike Redmond |

Paris Hilton Made Another Carl’s Jr. Commercial

Like a flare up that eventually goes away if you just stop itching it, Paris Hilton is being shoved into our faces again with a new Carl’s Jr. ad that she’s somehow getting all the credit for despite the fact it stars Hannah Ferguson and Paris is just a cameo which is fucking bullshit. Hannah’s…

Mike Redmond |

Chris Brown Threw A Charity Kickball Game

Chris Brown just got out of jail for violating his probation from beating the shit out of a woman, so why wouldn’t Paris Hilton, Carmen Electra, Amber Rose, Christina Milian, and Kendall and Kylie Jenner show up to his charity kickball game? What does violence against women have to do with them? It’s not like…

Mike Redmond |

Well, That Horse Is Dead

Here’s Paris Hilton’s new video for “Come Alive” which I didn’t make Photo Boy screencap because I like to draw the line at sexually-tinged indentured servitude. Anyway, I don’t know what the digital equivalent of taking a piss on something then lighting it on fire is (Wait. Yes, I do.), so here are some bikini

Mike Redmond |

Who Got Herpes This Weekend? And Other News

- Robin Thicke misses Paula Patton so bad he has to bang groupies three at a time. [Lainey Gossip]

- Katy Perry’s a Christian, you guys, and a Christian would never steal music. [Dlisted]

- Top Instagram Girls You Probably Don’t Know About [theCHIVE]

– This is what a…

Mike Redmond |

Chris Rock Won The BET Awards

I absolutely hate awards shows because the last thing celebrities need is more sunshine to the anus, so I treat each and every one with the same amount of disdain by blowing through them as quickly as possible. So here’s Chris Rock’s monologue at last night’s BET Awards which kicked off an evening of trashing…

Mike Redmond |

Adriana Lima, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lawrence: They All Wanna Piece O’ #BBare

Because my boy #BBare also comes in French Canadian (and Extra Crispy Ranch), the hardest, darkest rapper this side of Ontario-town took his show to Cannes where he worked his swampy magic on ALL da pussy startin’ with Jennifer Lawrence who straight up had Da Hunga Games all up in dem panties. Danity Fair:

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