olsen twins

Mary-Kate Olsen makes out with strangers

20-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen was spotted at Bungalow 8 Tuesday night “weaving around and kept falling off the banquettes she was dancing on.” A rep for Mary-Kate insists she’s sober and declined comment, but a source adds:

“She made out with three random guys and was wearing a Mardi Gras mask.”

She… More »

Mary-Kate Olsen goes platinum blonde and it’s really hot

Why the sudden interest in Mary-Kate Olsen? I have no fucking idea. But when you see somebody who reignites your love of zombie hookers you jump all over it. Like a lion. On small delicious creatures. Or some other analogy that features jumping on stuff. Trampolines?

Thanks to Mich for the tip. More »

Mary-Kate Olsen almost TOO sexy

Mary-Kate Olsen is dating again

20-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen has reportedly been dating oil heir Maxwell Snow for about a month now. Snow happens to be Uma Thurman’s nephew and is Mary-Kate’s first boyfriend since being single for a year after Paris Hilton stole her last boyfriend Stavros Niarchos.

It warms the heart to see that even… More »

The Olsen twins get rejected

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were invited to an exclusive dinner hosted by Mario Testino to honor French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld among others, but failed to RSVP and were sent away when they arrived at the door.

“There weren’t places for them because they hadn’t RSVPed,” says one guest. “They were refused… More »

Mary-Kate Olsen is scared of Lindsay Lohan

Page Six reports Mary-Kate Olsen showed up to the Met Costume Institute gala on Monday night and freaked out when she spotted Lindsay Lohan walking down the red carpet. A source says:

“MK looked like she wanted to die when she saw Lindsay,” said our spy. “She hung back and refused to… More »

Mary-Kate wants to be Kate Moss

Mary-Kate Olsen idolizes Kate Moss so much that she wants to make and star in a movie about her. … More »

Mary-Kate Olsen is not a role model

Mary-Kate Olsen has hit out at criticism she is a poor role model for children – insisting she and sister Ashley aren’t looking to set an example. The actress, who previously suffered an eating disorder, inisists the pair can’t be blamed for the issues affecting other kids and is annoyed at being constantly saddled with… More »

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen model for Badgley Mischka

Here are Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, wandering through the halls of the Overlook Hotel. They’re supposedly modeling something. Perhaps anorexia. Definitely not breast implants. Remember that big countdown to their eighteenth birthday, when everyone thought they were going to be so gorgeous? And then the birthday came and the world collectively scratched their… More »

Stephanie Tanner is a meth addict

It has recently come to light that Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin was a meth addict. Two years ago she was unemployed and bored and began by experimenting. Soon, she was using meth everyday. At some point a three-day bender ensued, as well as an intervention staged by her Full House castmates — including Mary-Kate and… More »

Kate Beckinsale has fat ass days

Kate Beckinsale says that there are days she feels so fat that she refuses to leave the house.

“It feels like I have somehow managed to cover up the mis-shapen strange child for an evening and fooled everybody. But I have days when I feel great and then I have days when my ass… More »

Ashley Olsen disses designer

Busy being the sane Olsen twin, Ashley was understandably late for a recent Chanel fashion show in New York. Designer Karl Lagerfeld, who apparently can’t get anyone else to show up for these things, held up the event hoping for Olsen to arrive. She eventually made her appearance, but had to watch everything from backstage. More »

Mary-Kate not bookish

Mary-Kate Olsen has revealed why she dropped out of NYU and moved back to Los Angeles.

“I’m happy that I kind of realized that, OK, I just need to take care of myself right now,” she told W. “I need to be able to go to yoga and work out and just read… More »

Mary-Kate’s downward spiral

Where’s Uncle Jesse when you need him? Despondent over Paris Hilton stealing her boyfriend (Stavros Niarchos III), Mary-Kate Olsen says the crisis forced her to drop out of school, move back to L.A. and drink her weight in frappucinos.

But she still indulges in her favorite guilty pleasure — Starbucks, up to four beverages… More »

Lindsay Lohan Marries For Revenge

Certain things have become part of my morning routine – waking up, brushing my teeth, stepping over the bodies of a dozen exhausted supermodels in mermaid costumes. I can now add ‘reading about Lindsay Lohan’ to that list, because much like STDs contracted on Brazilian porno shoots, she simply refuses to go away. She’s now… More »

Paris Hilton has sex in porta-potty

Paris Hilton apparently attended a Hollywood party with Mary-Kate’s ex-boyfriend, another Greek shipping heir, Stravor Niarchos. The two made out like it was 1999, before retiring to a portable john to finish up, which I suppose Niarchos would find kinky since his last girlfriend had never used her digestive system long enough to step foot… More »

Lohan in (Surrogate Drunken Hollywood) Parent Trap

Have you ever had one of those days where you’ve woken up and said to yourself, “I’m not going to let Paris and Nicole’s feud take over my life anymore. I’m not going to let it control me. I’m not that person”? Well, not a day goes by that I don’t say that to myself. More »

Mary-Kate is jealous

Model May Anderson has reportedly gotten under Mary-Kate Olsen’s skin by hitting on her ex-boyfriend, David Katzenberg. Olsen and Katzenberg broke up last year, but apparently that didn’t occur to Olsen when she was heard launching into a shrieking diatribe on her cell phone as all classy 19-year-old girls do when other sluts get all… More »

Hilary Duff is still a rectangle

According to a readers poll in the August issue of Teen People, American girls between the ages of 13 and 18 think celebrities like Mary-Kate Olsen and Paris Hilton are too skinny, and instead feel that celebrities like Beyonce, Hilary Duff, and even Kelly Osbourne are more representative of the average woman’s body type. The… More »

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen sell apartment

Twin millionaires Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are selling their $7.3 million Manhattan apartment without having ever lived in it.

Wait wait wait, Mary-Kate and Ashley weren’t even living in the $7 million penthouse that I was making fun of them for having? Then where the crap have these two little stick figures been living? More »

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