More Octomom stories

Octomom Got Drunk And Breasfted Two Baby Dolls Onstage At A Drag Show

Because Tan Mom wasn’t a big enough debacle, the she-males at XL Cabaret invited Octomom to their latest “Hot Mess” show where they got her shit-faced drunk then made her double-breastfeed two baby dolls in front of a room full of cross-dressers. Which is really the best way to make yourself look on the up-and-up… More »

Everyone Relax, Octomom Says Her Kids Aren’t Molesting Each Other. Wait, What?

And welcome to the exact moment all of this stopped being an only slightly horrible guilty pleasure of a train wreck to look at. TMZ reports:

The nannies do not say Octo personally sexually abused the children — but according to one of the nannies who spoke with CBS, “(One of the boys)… More »

Octomom Thinks You’ll Buy Her A House Now

When we last left Octomom, she was bragging about stripping and porning her way off welfare as if it’s some grand accomplishment that she’s finally feeding and clothing the 14 kids she forced science to poop out of her. Except now she’s set up a GoFundMe account begging random strangers to buy her a house… More »

Octomom Stripped Her Way Off Welfare, Wants You To Give Her A Medal

Before you complain about the quality of this photo, really stop and think about what you’re asking for a clearer picture of.

While Octomom originally bailed on her stripping gig in Florida because the manager told people she has kids (No, really.) apparently she eventually swallowed her pride and showed up to collect… More »

It’s Octomom In A Bikini Because I Hate You

Presumably to promote her self-exploration cinema spectacular, or the now-cancelled stripper gig to promote said spectacular, here’s Octomom in Palm Beach posing for some just-released canned bikini pics. And if you’re looking at these going, “My God, who would have sex with this?” Dudes. Dudes will have sex with this. We’re disgusting. TMZ reports:
More »

Octomom Cancels Stripping Gig After Manager Mentions She Has Kids. Makes Sense.

Seen her promoting her “self-pleasure voyage of discovery” or however they’re marketing this holocaust of the mind, the perfectly sane Octomom who should be responsible for the lives of 14 children has cancelled her upcoming stripping gig after the manager basically said a bunch of completely true words. TMZ reports:

[Octo’s rep Gina]… More »

Octomom’s a Stripper. The Circle is Now Complete.

A few weeks back I gave Octomom some shit for immediately blowing her porn paycheck on blowouts and gym memberships while still on welfare. (Or at least the kids are because they’re goddamn bums using crazy Octo-logic.) So I’m a man enough to admit when I made a mistake because clearly she was making an… More »

Octomom’s Lecturing Tan Mom Now

As a rule of thumb, if the media’s already given you a nickname that ends in “mom,” your best is to keep your mouth shut and pray to God no one ever finds the bodies from your first attempt at child-rearing. Unfortunately, Tan Mom has practically been blood in the water for horrible moms looking… More »

Octomom Spent Her Porn Money On Spray Tans And A Gym Membership. Of Course.

Last week we learned that Octomom finally took the inevitable plunge into porn after filing for bankruptcy on the heels of her child services investigation. So clearly she wasn’t kidding when she said she’d do anything for her family including masturbating on camera. Except apparently her kids are fed and nurtured by being left at… More »

Octomom Filed For Bankruptcy, Will Now Do Porn

Posted by Photo Boy

Octomom famously said she’d never do porn. Then she almost lost her house, so she of course posed topless for a European magazine because that doesn’t count. But since she only got paid a fraction of the million she was offered to do a hardcore scene, she’s now right… More »

Octomom Cleared By Child Services

The secret ingredient is kids.

So earlier in the week we learned that Octomom locks her kids in a room while she drops $500 (Of her own money! That welfare cash is totally different, you guys.) on in-home Brazilian Blowouts whenever she’s not letting them graffiti the walls and traipse through each other’s… More »

Octomom Makes Her Own Money To Spend On Haircuts, The Welfare Is Just For The Kids. What?

“See? We even have an England room. Everything’s fine, just fine. AHAHAHA- Octo-squad, attack!

Octomom managed to piss off the entire Internet, and California taxpayers even moreso, yesterday when TMZ ran photos from the inside of her house along with claims that she’s dropping $500 on haircuts while on welfare and won’t fix… More »

Octomom Under Investigation For Locking Her Kids In A Room While She Gets $500 Haircuts

In case you weren’t fully convinced Octomom had no business bringing 14 kids into the world because she’s a shit-ass mother, the police paid her a visit last night over charges of child neglect after a hair stylist took pictures inside the house capturing almost third world-like living conditions for anyone not named Octomom who… More »

Octomom’s On Welfare, Receiving Death Threats

Despite posing topless for a mere $8-10,000 (the amount keeps changing), Octomom is now officially on welfare which is really going over well with taxpayers in the state of California, so trust me when I say they couldn’t be more thrilled. TMZ reports:

Our sources say Nadya Suleman started getting angry and threatening… More »

Octomom Finally Did Porn To Keep Her House

When Octomom fired 14 children out of her vagina, she just assume the TV money would come rolling in and she could simply pay an army of nannies to raise her uterus droppings army she only squeezed out to get all that TV money. Except Octomom failed to factor in America’s amazing capacity to not… More »

Octomom’s Showing Off Her Scars Now

“For the last time, lady, we know how you got those scars. Quit askin’.”

If you can’t tell by the Snooki pool party post, it’s lunchtime on the east coast, so here’s Octomom showing off her pregnancy scars at a celebrity boxing match over the weekend because apparently Octomom celebrity boxes now. Anyway,… More »

Of Course There’s a Recording of Octomom Saying She Hates Babies

“Ooh, is that a baby? Can I punch it?”

A few weeks back, In Touch ran an exclusive interview with Octomom where she says she hates all of 14 children. She immediately denied giving the interview and claimed In Touch fabricated the entire story, yet conveniently choose not to sue them which is… More »

Octomom’s Drunk Lesbian Birthday Party

“But ya gotta let us in! This is the Octa-Ma!”

Fresh off of presumably abandoning her kids on the plane they terrorized earlier this week, here’s Octomom celebrating her birthday last night and getting sloppy drunk with her girlfriends while eating cupcakes off each other. Also, for some reason Frenchy from Rock ofMore »

Kristen Johnston Flips Out on Octomom After Her 800 Kids Delay Plane

“Oh, no, they love riding with the luggage. It’s just like that time we took the bus, kids! Yay!”

After inexplicably appearing on The Today Show Friday morning, Octomom and her brood had to somehow get back to California, so being the cheap-asses that they are, NBC booked them all on a commercial… More »

Why is Octomom Herding All Of Her Kids Toward The Sea?

Oh, shit, she saw the Casey Anthony verdict. Octo-babies, no, wait, the cookies are chloroform! THE COOKIES ARE CHLOROFORM!

Photo: Pacific Coast NewsMore »

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