Nicolas Cage


More Nicolas Cage stories

Comic-Con Day 2: I’m In Love With A Giant

Welcome to Day Two of our Comic-Con coverage which I’m telling myself will justify beefing this Friday to go see Guardians of The Galaxy and spending way too long writing a dick-joke laden review of it. Lies are fun. Anyway, let’s get to it. I’ve still got Most Important People to put up when I… More »

Nicolas Cage Backstage With Guns N’ Roses Will Melt Your Mind Now

*sips wine* “Put down the bunny.”

For those of you just joining the Internet, Tracy Morgan is in critical condition after a deadly car crash, and white supremacist militia members tried to start “the revolution” at a Las Vegas Walmart, but none of those stories contain the human element of Nicolas Cage wearing… More »

Nicolas Cage Has A Ponytail, Somehow

Here’s Nicolas Cage sporting a ponytail at LAX yesterday which is amazing because here is 23 days ago at the Venice Film Festival with a not-ponytail. Although, in fairness he could just be going method for Every Cowboy Sings A Sad, Sad Song: The Bret Michaels Story and booked a flight to hepatitis. The man’s… More »

It’s Cool, Internet, I Didn’t Need My Mind Anymore, And Other News

- Tracy Anderson wants to fix Lena Dunham. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sinead O’Connor is still making incredible life decisions. [Dlisted]

– This is a link to a huge pair of breasts. [theCHIVE]

- John Mayer is basically copying Katy Perry now. [Fishwrapper]

– So both the OlsenMore »

Charlie And The Cocaine Factory

For those of you who wisely stopped paying attention to Charlie Sheen after realizing “Winning!” was more of a manic tic from hooker murder than an actual catchphrase, he’s in Colombia right now which should probably concern anyone even remotely concerned with the availability of cocaine which he swears isn’t the sole purpose of this… More »

Everyone’s A Vampire From The Civil War

Apparently this is going to be the new Internet fad, so here’s another one of those historical time-traveling vampire photos, this time featuring John Travolta. Although I’m not a sucker for the liberal media’s lies and know this is just time-traveling Nicolas Cage wearing John Travolta’s face so he can bang his wife and let’s… More »

Nicolas Cage and The Fudgesicle Bandit

“To this day, I’ll never understand why he only left the Creamsicles… *chokes up* Can we do this another time?”

While promoting his new movie Trespass at the Toronto Film Festival, Nicolas Cage opened up about the time an intruder broke into his house and violated the sanctity of his frozen treats. Via… More »

Weston Cage Checked Into Rehab To Become An Action Star. Okay, Sure.

“So what my film pre-supposes is, maybe getting your ass kicked means you’re not crazy.”

After finally winning/losing his first fight, albeit against himself, Weston Cage has checked back into rehab for reasons that reveal his mom Christina Fulton is just as fucking crazy as he is which raises serious questions about the… More »

Weston Cage Really Likes Facebook, And, Oh Yeah, His Wife’s Pregnant

When she rested her boobs on the balcony, that’s when he knew he had to marry her for only three months then get punched in the face 13 times by his babysitter. It was destiny…

Like all goth, death-, speed-, black-, druid-, sassafras-, whatever the fuck-metal kids, Weston Cage loves throwing a pity… More »

Weston Cage’s Wife Kicked His Ass Now

On Sunday night, Weston Cage claimed that the 13 punches to the face he took from his babysitter only happened because he was one drink short of death and took a cheap shot to the balls, according to TMZ:

He says that if he had a few more drinks, his “loyal and beautiful… More »

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