New England Patriots


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Tells Us About Your Balls, Tom Brady, Tells Us Everything About Them

While addressing Deflategate, Tom Brady explains the process of his balls and how he has no idea how his balls got deflated because he’s very protective of his balls and only like his balls a certain way. More »

I Don’t Think Jesus Wants Tim Tebow To Play Football

For those of you wondering why the earth was cast into eternal darkness as a plague of locusts devoured your firstborn, Tim Tebow was cut from the New England Patriots on Friday which left him free to be picked up by any other team in the NFL provided one of them wanted him. Which they… More »

BREAKING: Tom Brady Smiled At Something That Isn’t A Water Slide

To answer your question, the person in the red shirt is Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow. The Jesus kid, right.

h/t Lainey GossipMore »

Tim Tebow Plays For The Patriots

Tom Brady’s going to need a bigger water slide. Via Deadspin:

New England is probably the perfect landing spot for Tebow, ESPN proximity notwithstanding. He won’t start a quarterback controversy. The Patriots are good enough, and the fans trust Bill Belichick enough, that no one will be calling for him to play 30… More »

This Is Who Tim Tebow Lost To

So maybe that abortion wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Just throwing that out there.

Photo: Splash NewsMore »

Tom Brady is The Prettiest Quarterback in All The Land

Apparently season ticket holders get to watch the New England Patriots have an extra special practice just for them, so here’s Tom Brady at Gillette Stadium last night giving the crowd some sizzle as he prances and preens knowing full well their eyes are undressing him gleefully, like a man alone with his waterslide. Later,… More »

Brett Favre Could’ve Used One Of These

Here’s Tom Brady filming what has to be the Avatar of man-on-dog porn. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that James Cameron actually is the director. “Alright, Tom, in this scene, you want the dog to know you have strong muscles, but also a massive erection whose vantage point the audience will experience… More »

Bret Lockett: ‘Okay, I Just Had Phone Sex With Kim Kardashian’

Last week, New England Patriot Bret Lockett claimed he has photos that prove he had a “physical relationship” with Kim Kardashian while she was dating her now-fiance Kris Humphries. However, over the weekend, he changed his story to they just had phone sex for five months. E! News reports:

“I’ve said before that… More »