Posts tagged "Nadya Suleman"

Octomom Got Drunk And Breasfted Two Baby Dolls Onstage At A Drag Show

Because Tan Mom wasn’t a big enough debacle, the she-males at XL Cabaret invited Octomom to their latest “Hot Mess” show where they got her shit-faced drunk then made her double-breastfeed two baby dolls in front of a room full of cross-dressers. Which is really the best way to make yourself look on the up-and-u…

The Superficial / October 15, 2012

Everyone Relax, Octomom Says Her Kids Aren’t Molesting Each Other. Wait, What?

And welcome to the exact moment all of this stopped being an only slightly horrible guilty pleasure of a train wreck to look at. TMZ reports:

The nannies do not say Octo personally sexually abused the children — but according to one of the nannies who spoke with CBS, “(One of the boys)…

The Superficial / October 12, 2012

Octomom Thinks You’ll Buy Her A House Now

When we last left Octomom, she was bragging about stripping and porning her way off welfare as if it’s some grand accomplishment that she’s finally feeding and clothing the 14 kids she forced science to poop out of her. Except now she’s set up a GoFundMe account begging random strangers to buy her a house…

The Superficial / July 30, 2012

Octomom Stripped Her Way Off Welfare, Wants You To Give Her A Medal

Before you complain about the quality of this photo, really stop and think about what you’re asking for a clearer picture of.
While Octomom originally bailed on her stripping gig in Florida because the manager told people she has kids (No, really.) apparently she eventually swallowed her pride and showed up to collect the easiest

The Superficial / July 23, 2012

It’s Octomom In A Bikini Because I Hate You

Presumably to promote her self-exploration cinema spectacular, or the now-cancelled stripper gig to promote said spectacular, here’s Octomom in Palm Beach posing for some just-released canned bikini pics. And if you’re looking at these going, “My God, who would have sex with this?” Dudes. Dudes will have sex with this. We’re disgusting. TMZ reports:
36-year-old…

The Superficial / June 26, 2012

Octomom Cancels Stripping Gig After Manager Mentions She Has Kids. Makes Sense.

Seen her promoting her “self-pleasure voyage of discovery” or however they’re marketing this holocaust of the mind, the perfectly sane Octomom who should be responsible for the lives of 14 children has cancelled her upcoming stripping gig after the manager basically said a bunch of completely true words. TMZ reports:
[Octo’s rep Gina] Rodriguez say…

The Superficial / June 6, 2012

Octomom’s a Stripper. The Circle is Now Complete.

A few weeks back I gave Octomom some shit for immediately blowing her porn paycheck on blowouts and gym memberships while still on welfare. (Or at least the kids are because they’re goddamn bums using crazy Octo-logic.) So I’m a man enough to admit when I made a mistake because clearly she was making a…

The Superficial / June 4, 2012

Octomom’s Lecturing Tan Mom Now

As a rule of thumb, if the media’s already given you a nickname that ends in “mom,” your best is to keep your mouth shut and pray to God no one ever finds the bodies from your first attempt at child-rearing. Unfortunately, Tan Mom has practically been blood in the water for horrible moms looking…

The Superficial / May 14, 2012

Octomom Spent Her Porn Money On Spray Tans And A Gym Membership. Of Course.

Last week we learned that Octomom finally took the inevitable plunge into porn after filing for bankruptcy on the heels of her child services investigation. So clearly she wasn’t kidding when she said she’d do anything for her family including masturbating on camera. Except apparently her kids are fed and nurtured by being left at…

The Superficial / May 9, 2012

Octomom Cleared By Child Services

The secret ingredient is kids.
So earlier in the week we learned that Octomom locks her kids in a room while she drops $500 (Of her own money! That welfare cash is totally different, you guys.) on in-home Brazilian Blowouts whenever she’s not letting them graffiti the walls and traipse through each other’s piss and…

The Superficial / April 27, 2012

Octomom Makes Her Own Money To Spend On Haircuts, The Welfare Is Just For The Kids. What?

“See? We even have an England room. Everything’s fine, just fine. AHAHAHA- Octo-squad, attack!

Octomom managed to piss off the entire Internet, and California taxpayers even moreso, yesterday when TMZ ran photos from the inside of her house along with claims that she’s dropping $500 on haircuts while on welfare and won’t fix…

The Superficial / April 26, 2012

Octomom Under Investigation For Locking Her Kids In A Room While She Gets $500 Haircuts

In case you weren’t fully convinced Octomom had no business bringing 14 kids into the world because she’s a shit-ass mother, the police paid her a visit last night over charges of child neglect after a hair stylist took pictures inside the house capturing almost third world-like living conditions for anyone not named Octomom who…

The Superficial / April 25, 2012

Octomom Hates Each Of Her 14 Kids

“You can’t even fit them in one picture! Assholes, right?”
In a disturbingly frank interview, Octomom Nadya Suleman single-uterusly manages to make it public record that she “hates” every single one of her 14 kids, even though I think I’ve seen her around them exactly once, and regrets even having them. So, basically, welcome to…

The Superficial / June 30, 2011

Octomom’s in a Bikini Again

Because it’s Apocalypse Day on The Superficial, here’s Octomom posing for a new bikini shoot because who knew shatting out 14 kids would cost money? And working a real job is hard. On that note, apparently Octo is joining forces with Tila Tequila and the hooker/porn star Charlie Sheen tried to kill because FrankLohanTinoZord wasn’t…

The Superficial / June 3, 2011

Octomom Takes First Step Into Porn

After what seems like a horrifying, ill-advised eternity of the porn wizards at Vivid pursuing Octomom, she’s finally caved after realizing 14 kids don’t feed and shelter themselves. Who knew? TMZ reports:
The video was shot recently in her L.A. area home. The video shows Nadya Suleman, dressed in a black corset, black leggings and…

The Superficial / January 18, 2011

Octomom can keep her house – if she does porn

Steven Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment is apparently Satan because I can’t come up with a rational explanation for offering to pay off Octomom’s house if she does porn. TMZ reports:
“I can only imagine the anxiety that this must be causing you and your family.” But this guy isn’t just talk … he’s willing to…

The Superficial / March 22, 2010

Octomom’s losing her house

To the absolute joy of anyone paying taxes in California, Octomom’s house is about to be foreclosed due to lack of payments. TMZ reports:
As we first reported, Octo didn’t make a balloon payment of $450,000 on March 10. She’s also behind $4,139 on monthly payments.
The person who sold the house to Octo and…

The Superficial / March 19, 2010

Octomom: ‘I have a better figure than Kate Gosselin’

Nadya Suleman’s two-hour documentary Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage aired on FOX last night and showed the day-to-day life our of nation’s very own psychotic incubator. While the show was rife with reasons why Nadya shouldn’t be allowed to parent anything more aware than a potato, she also took time to fire off criticisms of…

The Superficial / August 20, 2009

Octomom lands reality show, book deal

Who didn’t see this coming? Nadya “Octomom” Suleman has not only landed a book deal but finally found a production company for her reality show, according to People:
Suleman’s attorney Jeff Czech calls the series a “quasi-reality” show, explaining that instead of having a dozen cameramen tromping around her house 24 hours a day, film…

The Superficial / May 31, 2009

Octomom’s baby train derailed

Great news, everybody, Octomom has tumors on her uterus! Alright! According to Radar Online, she’ll be undergoing surgery that will leave her pretty much unable to conceive again. — We should throw a party:
Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman will check into the hospital this weekend to have benign fibroid tumors removed from her uterus — a…

The Superficial / May 8, 2009
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