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Mitt Romney Seems To Be Holding Up

“Is that an A&W? I will suck your fucking dick…”

reddit user mbk95 captured this pic of an apparently security-less Mitt Romney pumping gas in La Jolla last night where he’s been holed up since the election. But before you go accusing him of looking like a man who just finished axe-murdering his…

Mike Redmond |

Mitt Romney Cancelled Campaign Staff’s Credit Cards During His Concession Speech

The election is over, Barack Obama won, we’re in the middle of a goddamn bikini photo tsunami, so there’s absolutely no need for another politics post for a long ass time. Except Mitt Romney pulled such an incredibly impressive dick move Tuesday night, that I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t take a moment…

Mike Redmond |

The Black Guy’s Still The President Exactly Like Effeminate People Who Know Math Predicted

Thanks in no small part to Jon Hamm’s penis stumping in Colorado, Barack Obama and his “Chicago-style politics” were run out of town last night by the American public, except no wait, they weren’t. He was re-elected president to a resounding symphony of white butthurt. So if you’re a Republican who actually thought this was…

Mike Redmond |

Joss Whedon Endorses Mitt Romney For President And Other News

- Gwyneth Paltrow’s next role is Pablo Picasso’s muse. Why did this news just make me fart gluten-free Foie gras into a Ming dynasty vase? [Lainey Gossip]

– Mirrors are a girls best friend. [theCHIVE]

- Shiloh ain’t having this shit. [Dlisted]

- Avril Lavigne’s ex dressed up as…

Mike Redmond |

Oh, Good, Lindsay Lohan Tweeted The Debate

Lindsay Lohan spent a good portion of the 2008 election trying to convince her girlfriend Samantha Ronson that she understands politics, so in an attempt to relive that tradition, Lindsay spent last night at a sushi bar (No, really.) live-tweeting the presidential debates if live-tweeting means making no goddamn sense and trying to get Bill

Mike Redmond |

Honey Boo Boo Endorsed Obama. Goddammit…

Because apparently Octomom’s endorsement wasn’t enough (Goddamn, gun-toting single moms), Honey Boo Boo endorsed Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday night. So if you were giddy about last night’s debate performance, knock that shit off and prepare thy magical underloons for the reign of your new Mormon overlord and also make sure dinner’s on…

Mike Redmond |

Go Debate Hayden Panettiere’s Breasts With Your Brother, Daddy’s Got A Headache

Here’s the deal, Photo Boy got drunk and I completely put off sifting through yesterday’s comments for Most Important People entries to tweet Big Love jokes about last night’s debate between President Obama and Governor Ladybinders, so while we caffeinate and get our shit together, why don’t you all have your own spirited debate over…

Mike Redmond |

Lindsay Lohan Just Endorsed Mitt Romney

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan called into TMZ Live and basically said her dad’s dead to her for recording her desperate call for help during her fight with Dina and then tried to say she lied to him about her mom doing coke. Which is, of course, bullshit, so she quickly needed a distraction from that, and…

Mike Redmond |

This Guy Won The Internet And Other News

- Why Mitt Romney probably shouldn’t pose with fast food workers who make 1/1,000,000,000th the amount he does in a minute. [Uproxx]

– The time The Shriners openly shat all over Justin Timberlake. [Lainey Gossip]

– I’m not sure I like seeing abs that manly so close to underboob. [theCHIVE]

Mike Redmond |

Scott Stapp Won’t Vote For Obama. October Surprise, Bitches!

Because if there’s one thing people who watch FOX News probably love, it’s Creed, so Scott Stapp stopped by Fox & Friends this morning where he revealed that he voted for Obama in 2008, but won’t this year because he found his administration “ineffective” and “a lot of promises but no real delivery.” Except he’s…

Mike Redmond |

So Nicki Minaj Is A Republican

If you follow politics closely, you may have noticed the blogosphere freaking out today over claims that Nicki Minaj is a Republican even though she’s black with a foot-long yucky Satan hole making her everything the GOP stands against. Even more ridiculous, the source is a Lil Wayne track where Nicki claims to be hanging…

Mike Redmond |

Jenna Jameson Just Endorsed Mitt Romney

Jenna Jameson was at a strip club last night, so what better place to endorse a presidential candidate based solely on a refreshingly honest desire to keep dollar bills shoved into her vagina? CBS San Francisco reports:

“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office,” Jameson said while sipping champagne…

Mike Redmond |

Just Kidding, Mitt Romney’s Batman Now

“Did you make the suit out of aborted fetuses like I asked? Good, good.”

Yesterday, the Internet pissed itself silly after Rush Limbaugh couldn’t resist the immediately ridiculous theory that The Dark Knight Rises is a liberal conspiracy to make movie-goers associate Mitt Romney with the villain Bane so they’ll vote for Obama.

Mike Redmond |

Of Course ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Is A Liberal Plot To Make Mitt Romney Look Bad. Duh.

[Full Disclosure: Photo Boy and I did not make this pic, so if you’re the creator, hit us up and we’ll give you props because it’s fucking awesome.]

[Update: Credit added. Huge thanks to Aramis at Barkers & Rubes.]

Over the past week or so, I’ve seen rumblings in the comments…

Mike Redmond |

So Brad Pitt’s Mom’s Kind Of A Homophobe

“Dear, you’re smiling like a gay.”

Brad Pitt has been pretty open about rejecting his strict Southern Baptist upbringing which is fortunately what happens when you abuse your parental authority, including but not limited to threats of corporal punishment and/or putting your children out on the street, to force them to swallow bullshit…

Mike Redmond |