Posts tagged "Miranda Kerr"

Miranda Kerr Is F*cking Awesome At Selling Shoes

Miranda Kerr knows how to sell the shit out of a shoe.

The Superficial / August 25, 2015

And Now Miranda Kerr’s Breasts

Miranda Kerr’s breasts aren’t gross topics like how many women Bill Cosby has raped or Alan Thicke’s son’s voice giving him a boner during sex. You’re welcome.

The Superficial / May 15, 2015

Good Morning, Miranda Kerr, And Other News

Miranda Kerr in lingerie, Joss Whedon blasting the comic book movie industry, Pat Robertson saying stupid shit, and video evidence of why college is awesome. Your morning links.

The Superficial / January 30, 2015

Hailey Baldwin Made A Lingerie Video, Too

Earlier in the week, we saw Kendall Jenner being spanked by Santa Claus for Love Magazine, and now to a somehow creepier extent, here’s her best friend Hailey Baldwin dancing in lingerie. So just assume she’s also managed by Kris Jenner, and Stephen Baldwin’s Jesus magic was no match for the ancient incantations of the…

The Superficial / December 11, 2014

Good Morning, Miranda Kerr, And Other News

- Miley Cyrus and The Gropenator’s son spent Thanksgiving together. [Lainey Gossip]
– Wait, wait. Aubrey O’Day has a face? [Fishwrapper]
- Scary Spice used to pick up MILFs before she met her husband. [Dlisted]
- Girls In Excessively Tight Dresses [theCHIVE]
- Emotional Support Pigs don’t do well on airplanes. I’m as shocked a…

The Superficial / December 2, 2014

Good Morning, Miranda Kerr, And Other News

- Chris Pratt will be Cowboy Ninja Viking. Whatever that means. [Lainey Gossip]
- Refinery 29’s shit-ass puff-piece on Scientology has some problems. [The Frisky]
- Nick Jonas really needs you to know he’s not a virgin anymore. [Fishwrapper]
- Jamie Oliver: Spanking: bad, secretly rubbing hot peppers on my children’s food: good. [Dlisted]

The Superficial / November 21, 2014

Justin Bieber Ditched Selena Gomez For The Kardashians

So here’s how Selena Gomez’s trip to Paris Fashion Week went:
1. Before, or as soon as, she got there, Justin Bieber checked into a hotel with Kendall Jenner.
2. When she showed up to the same show as him later, he spent the entire time with the Kardashians.
And 3. When she gave u…

The Superficial / October 1, 2014

Justin Bieber’s Still F*cking With Orlando Bloom

catwolf9899’s good people.
Justin Bieber is a little bitch. Which is really all the introduction I need here, but just in case, here are new details from his brush-up with Orlando Bloom that, just like earlier accounts, still involve him making a smartass remark about Miranda Kerr only this time there’s a cameo from Leonardo

The Superficial / July 30, 2014

Justin Bieber Pissed Off Legolas By Bragging About Miranda Kerr

Now that Orlando Bloom is the hero the Internet deserves, but not the one it needs right now, here’s what prompted him to take a swing at a lesbian rapper early this morning, according to Page Six:

“Justin was at one table, and Orlando was at another,” a source told us. “But whe…

The Superficial / July 30, 2014

Orlando Bloom Took A Swing At Justin Bieber

Seen here partying his dick off in Spain, Orlando Bloom reportedly took a swing at Justin Bieber Wednesday morning Ibiza time causing the hardest rapper in all of Canada-land to flee a restaurant because of the prettiest elf in Middle Earth. And to the applause of every single person there if not humanity at large.

The Superficial / July 29, 2014

Two Australian Billionaires Got In A Street Fight Over Miranda Kerr

Part of being a world famous supermodel is you have to have sex with billionaires. Right, Heidi Klum? Right. Except at the end of the day, billionaires are men like the rest of us, and men are territorial sons of bitches which is why filthy rich childhood best friends David Gyngell and James Packer found…

The Superficial / May 14, 2014

Selena Gomez Is Banging Orlando Bloom

Considering Miranda Kerr cheated on Orlando Bloom with Justin Bieber, it seems only fair that he’d get to bang Selena Gomez, and so he is much to the dismay of #BBare. Via Hollywood Life:
Justin Bieber, 20, is furious over Selena Gomez, 21, allegedly flirting with Orlando Bloom. The Biebs is used to being “king…

The Superficial / April 3, 2014

BREAKING: Miranda Kerr Wants To Bang Women

Here’s Miranda Kerr posing nude for the April issue of British GQ where she reveals she’s open to having sex with a woman now that she’s single. Which – okay, you got me – doesn’t really count as breaking news because this happened already. I wrote about this happening. You guys don’t miss a trick.

The Superficial / March 31, 2014

No Miranda Kerrs Left Behind And Other News

- Charlize Theron and Sean Penn are doing red carpets now. [Lainey Gossip]
- Reese Witherspoon is a powerful (pregnant) wizard. [Dlisted]
- Things Are Getting Awfully Squishy Around Here [theCHIVE]
- Kristin Davis is sorry about Sex and The City. [Fishwrapper]
- Lupita Nyong’o photobombed the shit out of Jared Leto. [The Frisky]

The Superficial / March 4, 2014

That’s Miranda Kerr’s Nipple

I’m going to be perfectly frank with you. I have one more fuck to give about Duck Dynasty before firing up the Best Of posts and mentally checking out for the holidays, so here’s Miranda Kerr posing for Terry Richardson in a see-through bra. Think of it as a haven for your weary, your down-trodden.

The Superficial / December 23, 2013

Justin Bieber Broke Up Miranda Kerr & Orlando Bloom? The Justin Bieber?

It’s pretty much a given that Justin Bieber banged Barbara Palvin after The 2012 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but now comes word that he probably also had sex with Miranda Kerr because Justice Scalia was right. The devil is real, and he is doing something besides making pigs run off cliffs. It’s this, he’s doing…

The Superficial / October 31, 2013

Miranda Kerr Is Single

We’re still two months away from the Baby Jesus’ birthday, and yet he’s already bestowed a gift upon us by breaking up Miranda Kerr and Legolas even though we kind of murdered his ass then went, “Haha, remember all that stuff he said about poor people? Fuck that.” E! News reports:
A rep for Bloom…

The Superficial / October 25, 2013

Those Are Miranda Kerr’s Nipples

For the record, I will post other things today and have no idea why I bothered.
You and I are in accord.
Photos: Abaca USA/AKM-GSI, Getty

The Superficial / September 9, 2013

This Is What Happens When Miranda Kerr Goes On ‘Fox & Friends’

Sorry to post about Republicans twice in a row, but here’s Miranda Kerr on Fox & Friends this morning where she probably said words about something, but more importantly decided to show off how flexible she was until Bill O’Reilly burst into the room and pelted her with loofahs. The man has a distinct mating…

The Superficial / June 4, 2013
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