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In Response To Adrian Peterson’s Super Dad Tweet

The “whooping” – as Peterson put it when interviewed by police – occurred in Spring, Texas, in May. Peterson’s son had pushed another one of Peterson’s children off of a motorbike video game. As punishment, Peterson grabbed a tree branch – which he consistently referred to as a “switch” – removed the leaves and struckMore »


Adrian Peterson’s Nike Contract Is Suspended

Because if everyone works fast enough, the NFL can sweep this all up by Thursday night, Nike has suspended Adrian Peterson’s contract, according to ESPN’s Darren Rovell:

“Nike in no way condones child abuse [Ed. Note: I’ll assume “but our factories though” got cut off. – SW] or domestic violence of any kind… More »


Adrian Peterson Suspended From Minnesota Vikings Indefinitely

The Minnesota Vikings thought they could squeeze Adrian Peterson into at least one game and score a win this Sunday before they’d be forced to cut him from the team in because some hippie-dippie types don’t understand good old fashioned southern whooppings and the intrinsic value of beating kids so they turn into violent, hulking… More »



Adrian Peterson Allegedly Beat Another Kid

“See, Mike, your mistake was using dogs. Now kids? Kids are where the good whoopin’s at. Not only is that shit legal, but mothafucka’s will actually go on TV and defend your ass.”
“For real?”
“Google Charles Barkley, son.”

Because Adrian Peterson’s parents understood the value of good, old-fashioned southern whoopings,… More »


On Adrian Peterson And ‘Whooping’ Kids

[Ed. Note: As I was writing this post, the Minnesota Vikings announced Adrian Peterson will be playing this Sunday because the NFL hates women and children as much as you do. They do interrupt a lot of games. – SW]

Because the Ray Rice elevator video wasn’t enough to remind everyone that the… More »


Chris Kluwe Just Wrote An Epic Article About Why He Was Really Fired From The Vikings

Former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe quickly became an Internet hero after writing an open letter defending Brendon Ayanbadejo a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens who was chastised for defending gay rights. Kluwe later became an outspoken advocate for equality and Twitter sensation before suddenly finding himself cut from the Vikings. While the team denied… More »


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