Posts tagged "Minnesota Vikings"

In Response To Adrian Peterson’s Super Dad Tweet

The “whooping” – as Peterson put it when interviewed by police – occurred in Spring, Texas, in May. Peterson’s son had pushed another one of Peterson’s children off of a motorbike video game. As punishment, Peterson grabbed a tree branch – which he consistently referred to as a “switch” – removed the leave…
By: The Superficial / November 10, 2014

Adrian Peterson’s Nike Contract Is Suspended

Because if everyone works fast enough, the NFL can sweep this all up by Thursday night, Nike has suspended Adrian Peterson's contract, according to ESPN's Darren Rovell: "Nike in no way condones child abuse [Ed. Note: I'll assume "but our factories though" got cut off. - SW] or domestic violence…
By: The Superficial / September 17, 2014

Adrian Peterson Suspended From Minnesota Vikings Indefinitely

The Minnesota Vikings thought they could squeeze Adrian Peterson into at least one game and score a win this Sunday before they'd be forced to cut him from the team in because some hippie-dippie types don't understand good old fashioned southern whooppings and the intrinsic value of beating kid…
By: The Superficial / September 17, 2014

Adrian Peterson Allegedly Beat Another Kid

"See, Mike, your mistake was using dogs. Now kids? Kids are where the good whoopin's at. Not only is that shit legal, but mothafucka's will actually go on TV and defend your ass." "For real?" "Google Charles Barkley, son." Because Adrian Peterson's parents understood the value of good, old-fashioned southern whoopings,…
By: The Superficial / September 16, 2014

On Adrian Peterson And ‘Whooping’ Kids

[Ed. Note: As I was writing this post, the Minnesota Vikings announced Adrian Peterson will be playing this Sunday because the NFL hates women and children as much as you do. They do interrupt a lot of games. - SW] Because the Ray Rice elevator video wasn't enough to remind everyone…
By: The Superficial / September 15, 2014

Chris Kluwe Just Wrote An Epic Article About Why He Was Really Fired From The Vikings

Former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe quickly became an Internet hero after writing an open letter defending Brendon Ayanbadejo a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens who was chastised for defending gay rights. Kluwe later became an outspoken advocate for equality and Twitter sensation before suddenly finding himself cut from…
By: The Superficial / January 2, 2014

Brett Favre Retires, As If That Means Something

Amidst an avalanche of controversy triggered by his penis, Brett Favre has officially filed retirement paperwork with the NFL again, according to FOXSports.com: The 41-year-old quarterback stated 2010 was his final season after rejoining the Vikings in August and reiterated that intent throughout an injury-plagued campaign. Favre's NFL-record string of…
By: The Superficial / January 18, 2011

Brett Favre is Having an Awesome Season

When he's not being fined for failing to cooperate with penis photo investigations or sued for sexually harassing two masseuses at the same time, Brett Favre gets to watch his sister Brandi Favre be arrested for running a bathtub meth lab and have his name attached to every single headline acro…
By: The Superficial / January 13, 2011

Brett Favre Will Be Fined For Penis Photos

While earlier reports suggested Brett Favre would not suffer any consequences for sending sextual messages - including pictures of his penis - to New York Jets reporter Jenn Sterger in 2008, FOXSports.com reports Favre will, in fact, be fined by the NFL: Commissioner Roger Goodell is likely to fine, but…
By: The Superficial / December 29, 2010

Jenn Sterger Will ‘Go Public’ if Brett Favre Isn’t Punished By NFL

"These were a great choice. What could possibly go wrong?" With all signs pointing to the NFL pretending it wasn't Brett Favre who sent photos of his penis to Jenn Sterger while she was employed by the New York Jets, she's finally decided to break her silence…
By: The Superficial / December 7, 2010

Brett Favre: ‘Okay, I Left Those Voicemails’

A still-married, as of this post, Brett Favre has finally confessed to leaving Jenn Sterger (above) creepy voicemails while he was playing for the New York Jets and she worked as a team reporter. However, Brett insists he did not send her photos of his penis because everyone…
By: The Superficial / October 25, 2010