Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill,… More »
Quick Note: These pics are quasi-SFW, but just in case, tell your boss Milla Jovovich is wearing underwear, it’s just up her butthole, so technically this doesn’t count as nudity. In fact, bring them over right now, I’ll say hi.
YOUR EMPLOYEE LOOKS AT THIS SITE ALL DAY BECAUSE… More »
“Yes, I know it’s aimed at my penis. That’s why I made her wear it there.”
Here’s the rest of the Oscars red carpet photos plus Brooklyn Decker who wasn’t technically at the Oscars but her breasts are huge, so close enough. Think of this post as honoring the splendor of the Academy… More »
Paul W.S. Anderson had waited all his whole life for the opportune moment to say “Hello” in his best Mr. Sulu voice. At last, that day had come, but when to say it? Too late, and his impotence a spectacle for all the world to see. Too early, and he has to make another Resident… More »
Because I can only pat Hollywood on the back so much for getting dressed up and pretending to care about a cause, here’s the rest of The 2011 amfAR Cinema Against AIDS Gala featuring a cavalcade of startlets wearing way too much makeup and knowing they’re literally moments away from watching Michelle Rodriguez drink 85… More »
Here’s Milla Jovovich and Paul Anderson in Cabo yesterday, and before someone without a penis tries to tell me she’s wearing some sort of dress instead of sexy négligée, I don’t come into your house and ruin your fantasies. And not just because I suck at picking locks.
Okay, it’s entirely because of… More »
3. MILLA JOVOVICH
If these pics of Milla Jovovovich were ever removed from the Internet, the very fabric of our existence would be sucked into the resulting gap. That’s how much you guys liked looking at her vagina. Or cardboard boxes, I go back and forth.
Original: Milla Jovovich… More »
In case you were in a coma for the entire month of September, here’s a look back at the Top 10 So Freaking Hot posts for the month. Feel free to catch up on what you missed, or relive the memory of getting fired for pretending the fax machine was Blake Lively’s breasts. Wait,… More »
Milla Jovovich appears completely nude in the Fall/Winter issue of Purple which makes her Maxim shoot look like, well, a Maxim shoot. In the meantime, I’m trying to figure out the storyline here, and I’m guessing Milla is a young woman who just moved into a new apartment and thought waving her vagina over… More »
Milla Jovovich and director Paul W.S. Anderson wed yesterday at their Beverly Hills home, according to Us Magazine:
The 20-minute ceremony began at 5:30 p.m. Jovovich donned a veil that covered her face, and a long, white sleeveless dress. Her hair was down and wavy, decorated with red flowers. Anderson wore a beige… More »
Proving that women should never be looked at in daylight without layers of make-up and digital editing, here’s Milla Jovovich posing for the September issue of Maxim. Okay, that was the good news. Now for the depressing stuff: The Fifth Element came out 10 years ago. 10 YEARS. Why is time moving so quickly? More »
- Paris Hilton’s asinine claim that Michael Jackson named his daughter after her DEBUNKED. [Celebslam]
- Taylor Lautner totally dumped Selena Gomez for his ex Sara Hicks. — So that’s what it’s like to write for Tiger Beat. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelis awarded $55,000 in monthly child support from Nas after giving… More »