Michael Lohan


More Michael Lohan stories

Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Wants To Take Jewelry Out of Egor’s Ass

Michael Lohan has a particular set of skills. Skills that will allow him to exploit Lindsay Lohan at any moment and sell whatever he can get his hands on to TMZ. More »

Here Are The Two Things Lindsay Lohan’s Lying About Today

No, the guy Lindsay Lohan’s blowing for a while isn’t her boyfriend, and no, he’s not reviving her career. More »

Child Services Are About 29 Years Late

Child services took Michael Lohan and Kate Major’s kids because they’re Michael Lohan and Kate Major. More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Oprah Series Has A Trailer

Here’s the trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s new docu-series which makes the trailer for Transformers 4 look like the most realistic shit you’ll see all morning. More importantly, it further proves that Lindsay will do literally anything for money including letting Oprah treat her like a dog she’s trying to house break if dogs loved coke… More »

Oprah Banished Lindsay Lohan’s Parents

There’s no way he knows who he’s posing with. Just no way.

Oprah has made some mistakes over the years like propping up Jenny McCarthy’s anti-vaccine horseshit or, even worse, not stopping this Stevie Wonder pic from happening because, again, goddammit. So this time she’s going to play things right by constantly being… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Lawyer Deemed Incompetent By Judge After Trying To Get Her Case Dismissed

Had Lindsay Lohan taken a plea deal earlier this week and agreed to 60 days of rehab that would’ve easily been whittled down to two weeks after she punches the entire staff, her shady as shit lawyer Mark Heller could’ve avoided going into court today to get her entire lying-to-police case dismissed. A move that… More »

There Is Another… Lohan… Again

Speaking of children who have no business existing, while Lindsay Lohan spent yesterday in court watching her new lawyer perform such dazzling legal maneuvers as “This here’s my lucky rabbit’s foot” and “Lookin’ beautiful today, ya honah,” (No really.), her dad was learning that 8,567 kicks to the vagina still isn’t enough to abort a… More »

Michael Lohan Just Got Paid To Say Lindsay Both Is And Isn’t A Prostitute

Michael Lohan might be a violent rapist and a shitheel of a father, but one thing he’s not is a complete idiot, so here he is telling Radar for a check that Lindsay Lohan is most definitely a prostitute now (which she is) and that her mother’s her pimp (which she is):

“She… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Threatens To Sue Her Mom If She Keeps Saying He Raped Her

Seen here still in London even though she had a court hearing on Monday that they would’ve thrown her ass in jail for not showing up to, but it was delayed that morning which she had no way of knowing would happen, Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael apparently isn’t a big fan of her mom DinaMore »

Dina Lohan Sold Abuse Photos To Entertainment Tonight. Of Course.

When you’re a pimp stupid enough to leave your ho in another country unsupervised, of course that trick is going to start holding out on you, so here’s Dina Lohan in an old photograph from the 80s where she’s allegedly sporting a black eye from Michael which she naturally sold to Entertainment Tonight. More »

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