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Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Wants To Take Jewelry Out of Egor’s Ass

Michael Lohan has a particular set of skills. Skills that will allow him to exploit Lindsay Lohan at any moment and sell whatever he can get his hands on to TMZ. More »


Here Are The Two Things Lindsay Lohan’s Lying About Today

No, the guy Lindsay Lohan’s blowing for a while isn’t her boyfriend, and no, he’s not reviving her career. More »


Child Services Are About 29 Years Late

Child services took Michael Lohan and Kate Major’s kids because they’re Michael Lohan and Kate Major. More »



Lindsay Lohan’s Oprah Series Has A Trailer

Here’s the trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s new docu-series which makes the trailer for Transformers 4 look like the most realistic shit you’ll see all morning. More importantly, it further proves that Lindsay will do literally anything for money including letting Oprah treat her like a dog she’s trying to house break if dogs loved coke… More »


Oprah Banished Lindsay Lohan’s Parents

There’s no way he knows who he’s posing with. Just no way.

Oprah has made some mistakes over the years like propping up Jenny McCarthy’s anti-vaccine horseshit or, even worse, not stopping this Stevie Wonder pic from happening because, again, goddammit. So this time she’s going to play things right by constantly being… More »


Lindsay Lohan’s Lawyer Deemed Incompetent By Judge After Trying To Get Her Case Dismissed

Had Lindsay Lohan taken a plea deal earlier this week and agreed to 60 days of rehab that would’ve easily been whittled down to two weeks after she punches the entire staff, her shady as shit lawyer Mark Heller could’ve avoided going into court today to get her entire lying-to-police case dismissed. A move that… More »



There Is Another… Lohan… Again

Speaking of children who have no business existing, while Lindsay Lohan spent yesterday in court watching her new lawyer perform such dazzling legal maneuvers as “This here’s my lucky rabbit’s foot” and “Lookin’ beautiful today, ya honah,” (No really.), her dad was learning that 8,567 kicks to the vagina still isn’t enough to abort a… More »


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