Posts tagged "Megan Fox"

Schoolgirl Megan Fox Isn’t The Duggars Or Chris Christie’s Vagina

Up Next: The Duggars, but first, Megan Fox, effectively making her the meat in today’s Man-Pussy Kid-Touch sandwich and wait, is that smoke? CHRIS HANSEN! NO!

By: Photo Boy / June 4, 2015

How Is Megan Fox Still Premiering ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?’

Somehow Megan Fox is still premiering ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ over six months after its release. She knows what she did.

By: The Superficial / February 3, 2015

No, Wait, Megan Fox, South Korea’s On Our Side!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is an epic shitbomb of pure fuck-dumb, so here’s Megan Fox dropping it on South Korea yesterday because who needs allies? Amirite? That whole North Korea thing will probably sort itself out. Plus we’re still holding all the Dennis Rodmans. I dare anyone to defy us.

Photos: Getty

By: The Superficial / August 27, 2014

Michael Bay Is The Antichrist: A Review of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Last week, I missed a significant chunk of Guardians of The Galaxy thanks to pure death violently escaping my body. And yet what I did get to see in a fevered, anxious fugue was still light years beyond Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in every possible way. If Guardians was a throwback to classic 80s adventure…

By: The Superficial / August 8, 2014

Guys, I’m Pretty Sure Megan Fox Wants To Bang Shia LaBeouf Again

Earlier in the week, Megan Fox made it a point to let the world know she’s not having sex with Brian Austin Green. On top of that, she made a passive aggressive jab that he wants more kids because “he doesn’t have to do any of the work” and then followed that up by naming…

By: The Superficial / August 8, 2014

Megan Fox Is Denying Brian Austin Green Sex Because of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

[Ed. Note: Never trifle with me again, BAG. You’re outmatched. – SW]

When we last left Megan Fox, she was telling moviegoers to fuck off before they even see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Since then, she’s already said she wants to go to back to Transformers, named Shia LaBeouf her favorite on-screen kiss

By: The Superficial / August 6, 2014

Megan Fox Tells Moviegoers To ‘F*ck Off’

Back in her Transformers heyday, Megan Fox had a small problem with opening her mouth and letting words come out of it. Words like “Hitler” and, well, basically any thought in her head. But, now that she’s humbled herself and crawled back to Michael Bay, she’s been a tame, cooperative actress who isn’t already openly…

By: The Superficial / August 4, 2014

Megan Fox Isn’t George Zimmerman

Because you don’t come to this site to read about how small your dick is for cowering like a pussy behind guns, here’s Megan Fox at the Mexico City premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where I’ll assume the promotional poster featured the Turtles chopping off the heads of their enemies. Or they’re just…

By: The Superficial / July 30, 2014

Comic-Con Day 1: Hope You Like Chins

Comic-Con officially started yesterday, and the excitement was palpable provided your idea of excitement is looking at chins because literally two of the biggest stories are chin hair-based. I’m not even joking. So here’s a quick rundown of Day 1, and all the lower portion of the face information that dwells within:…

By: The Superficial / July 25, 2014

Megan Fox Had A Baby 7 Weeks Ago. 7 Weeks.

If you read yesterday’s Jennifer Love Hewitt’s post, you probably think I’m part of the problem and perpetuate an unrealistic media image of how women should look post-pregnancy. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Look at how I’m posting these pics of Megan Fox on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yesterday and…

By: The Superficial / April 3, 2014

‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Has A Trailer

Here’s the official trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles which looks exactly like what you’d expect from a Ninja Turtle movie made by Michael Bay and the director of Battle Los Angeles. That said, I didn’t see any testicles or giant turtle dicks, so I hope every single person involved gets AIDS in the mouth.

By: The Superficial / March 27, 2014

And, Great, Shia LaBeouf Just Retired. WHAT DID YOU ANIMALS DO?!

“Did you just say you directed A River Runs Through It?”
“Don’t stifle my art, Bob.”

Back in December, Shia LaBeouf was caught plagiarizing the shit out of Daniel Clowes’ graphic novel Justin M. Damiano for a short film Howard Cantour.com that Shia had been shopping to festivals for over a year.

By: The Superficial / January 10, 2014

Megan Fox is Pregnant Again

Earlier in the year, Megan Fox miraculously pulled her career out of a nosedive by doing whatever horrible, depraved shit it took to make Michael Bay cast her in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as April O’Neil. So what a perfect time to ruin the body that saved her career by getting pregnant again. Page Six

By: The Superficial / August 2, 2013

Megan Fox’s Ass In Tight Jeans Is Still Filming ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

One of the few things Michael Bay does right is to cast incredibly hot women in movies and then prove he’s willing to risk tanking an entire third movie by un-casting them if they call him Hitler and don’t follow directions. Directions like looking fucking awesome in tight jeans which you’ll notice Megan Fox dutifully…

By: The Superficial / May 21, 2013

Michael Bay’s Making Megan Fox Jump On A Trampoline. Good, Good…

Earlier in the week, shots of Megan Fox on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were making the rounds, but they were boring as shit, so we ignored them. Fortunately, Michael Bay is the genius auteur of our time and made her jump on a trampoline in yoga pants all day yesterday. Whether thi…

By: The Superficial / May 8, 2013

Attention Michael Bay: Stop Everything And Do This Instead

Posted by Photo Boy

The Michael Bay produced live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles went from being scrapped to casting Megan Fox as April O’Neil, but none of that matters now because this video just slapped an “astoundingly thick” turtle penis on everyone’s face. They’re also not aliens anymore and Michael Bay never said…

By: Photo Boy / May 1, 2013

Megan Fox Apologized To Michael Bay Because No One Would Hire Her

It’s been almost four years since Steven Spielberg made Michael Bay fire Megan Fox after she called him Hitler causing her career to basically flatline even though she thought she was Jesus’ gift to movies and not at all one of eight million girls who get off a bus in LA everyday and are fully…

By: The Superficial / February 28, 2013

Megan Fox & Michael Bay Need Each Other

“Will I be playing April O’Neil’s mom? Ahahahaha… Yes.”

Up until yesterday, I knew exactly two things to be true: Megan Fox’s acting career was over, but she was trying to pass it off as her choice it so she could stop being objectified and focus on being a mom. And Michael Bay’…

By: The Superficial / February 22, 2013

And Now 8 Seconds of Leslie Mann Giggling While Fondling Megan Fox’s Breasts

At the 1:34 mark you’ll find eight wonderful seconds of Leslie Mann giggling while fondling Megan Fox’s breasts in the just-released This Is 40 blooper reel and I’m going to stop because no one read a single word past “breasts.” Seriously, I can write anything down here and no one will even notice. Case i…

By: The Superficial / January 23, 2013

Megan Fox Apologizes To Lindsay Lohan For Making Completely Accurate Statement

During the Esquire interview where she was repeatedly described as a snow driven field unmarred by the hoofprints of ugly deer-humans or some equally ridiculous bullshit, Megan Fox somehow said something that wasn’t about the Internet heralding in the apocalypse which she knows because she speaks Heaven-language. (Seriously, have you read this thing? You should…

By: The Superficial / January 16, 2013
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