Posts tagged "Matt Damon"

Jennifer Love Hewitt Sending Matt Damon A Bed Is Exactly How It Sounds

I often joke about how Jennifer Love Hewitt is a man-crazy mental patient hell-bent on doing whatever it takes to find her soulmate so she can climb into his carcass forever making them one. And that’s because it’s true and will apparently be the death of Matt Damon. Via Celebuzz:
I was reading an article,…

The Superficial / September 30, 2014

Good Morning, ‘Elysium’ Trailer, And Other News

- In case you hoped on starting your day with bikinis. [theCHIVE]
- Gwyneth Paltrow is being kind to the obese again. EVACUATE THE EARTH. [Lainey Gossip]
- Tom Cruise had no idea Katie Holmes was plotting to divorce him although wearing Magneto’s helmet to protect her thoughts should’ve been clue. [Dlisted]
– Goddamn, Ashley

The Superficial / April 10, 2013

Tom Cruise Got Spanked By A Dude At Matt Damon’s Tranny Birthday Party

Everything I just said in the headline but with more words and celebrity cameos. Via Page Six:
Cruise was spotted at Simon Hammerstein’s London club The Box to toast Damon’s 42nd birthday, along with “The Avengers” hunk Chris Hemsworth, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton and party organizer John Krasinski. “Tom arrived solo,” said a spy,…

The Superficial / October 9, 2012

Thor Has Swim Parties With Matt Damon. Why Not?

After proclaiming he’d sired a child deeply into Elsa Pataky’s womb, here’s The Mighty Thor teaching the dainty Hollywood actor Matt Damon how we grow men in Asgard: “With water slides! Water slides as far as Odinson’s belly can shimmy him away. Ride with me, Jason of Bourne!”

The Mighty Thor in ‘Quest

The Superficial / January 19, 2012

Matt Damon Defends Teachers Against Asshats With Admittedly Nice Boobs

Matt Damon knows what I’m talking about. Bourne Identity won’t even look down.
Apparently Matt Damon did more than just hilariously spray himself in the face with suntan lotion at the Save Our Schools rally in Washington D.C. yesterday – Frankly, I would’ve dusted off my hands and proclaimed my work done. – he also…

The Superficial / August 2, 2011

Jennifer Connelly is nipplely and other news

- Matt Damon and Brad Pitt tell an Italian reporter George Clooney is gay. Nakedness ensues. [PopEater]
- Kate Hudson’s lack of breasts has its advantages. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jaleel White has an entourage who feel they’re entitled to things besides laughter and a high five from Reginald VelJohnson. [Celebslam]
- John Mayer still think…

The Superficial / September 11, 2009

Matt Damon: Sarah Palin is like ‘a really bad Disney movie’

Matt Damon basically Jason Bourne’d Governor Sarah Palin in the face today while in Toronto promoting ONEXONE a Canadian children’s charity. His major concern seems to be what happens when John McCain kicks the bucket in office if the Republicans win?:
“You do the actuary tables, there’s a one out…

The Superficial / September 10, 2008

Matt Damon is pregnant

Matt Damon is pregnant again! Whether his wife Luciana Barroso or Sarah Silverman is the father is up for debate. People reports:
The current PEOPLE Sexiest Man Alive, 37, and his wife, 32, stepped out Sunday night at the Empire Film Awards in London – with Luciana glowing (and sporting a baby bump).
While some…

The Superficial / March 10, 2008

Ben Affleck and Jimmy Kimmel have intercourse

During his post-Oscars show, Jimmy Kimmel aired his rebuttal to Sarah Silverman’s hilarious video “I’m Fucking Matt Damon.” What you’re about to see is the star-studded video for “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck.” And, seriously, this thing has everybody: Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Robin Williams, McLovin and classically-trained Josh Groban belting…

The Superficial / February 26, 2008

Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon have intercourse

Here’s a surprisingly hilarious clip Sarah Silverman made for last night’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel. It’s by far the funniest thing I’ve seen Matt Damon do. Or Sarah Silverman for that matter. Though, I gotta admit, I hope it’s just a joke because Jimmy and Sarah seem like such a…

The Superficial / February 1, 2008