When people ask me what I do for a living, most of the time I just lie and say I’m an abortion doctor because here’s the Internet’s top trending story right now which you’ll notice has nothing do with gun control, the disturbing influence of the men’s rights movement, or unchecked mental illness. Instead, it’s… More »
If I’m reading this correctly, Michael Jackson allegedly hired infamous private investigator Anthony Pellicano to find out what children had cases against Michael and bury them. From there Pellicano allegedly hired an associate to help in his investigation who’s now talking to the media after “secret FBI files” were found that claim Michael paid out… More »
Russell Brand has a new comedy tour to promote which requires him to do constant media appearances where he shares humorous anecdotes that hopefully people like me will repeat. Anecdotes like trying to pick up Mila Kunis only to have her say, “No, thanks, I’ll keep banging Macaulay Culkin,” so well played, chap. You stuck… More »
For those of you concerned about Macaulay Culkin after seeing him look like Fire Marshall Bill, he’s all better now provided your definition of better is traipsing around Paris with painted fingernails and a pony tail while kissing men surrounded by French pastries. And if isn’t your definition, go ahead and read about the dinosaur… More »
After Mila Kunis regained her sight and realized she’d been having sex with Macaulay Culkin for eight years, he handled their break-up surprisingly well by flying to Europe and going to sex clubs for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Except one of those nights must’ve ended with him waking up naked in a room full of… More »
After years of me sacrificing first-born children at Madonna’s house praying just praying, Mila Kunis has finally broken up with Macaulay Culkin, according to Page Six:
The split was amicable, and they remain close friends,” her rep said.
A source said the couple split some time ago but has kept it low-key… More »
Macaulay Culkin’s penis may have provided the sperm that led to Prince Michael Jackson II being birthed by a surrogate and immediately collected by Michael Jackson’s lawyers. The Sun reports:
Now sources close to Jackson say the Thriller star asked Culkin for the donation to help him complete his “perfect” family.
The… More »
This keeps getting better. Debbie Rowe’s lawyer just fired off a statement to RadarOnline stating that she is, in fact, the biological mother of Michael Jackson’s oldest children:
“We refuse to be drawn into addressing the various rumors and speculation swirling in the media. The vast majority of what is out there… More »
Macaulay Culkin’s sister Dakota died yesterday after being struck by a car Tuesday afternoon, according to TMZ:
Law enforcement sources tell us Dakota Culkin was walking on the west side of Los Angeles Tuesday when she stepped off a curb and was struck by a car. The 29-year-old Culkin was taken to… More »