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Lindsay Lohan Was Racially Profiled, You Guys

Lindsay Lohan claims she was racially profiled at Heathrow Airport even though she’s a freakishly pale white ginger lady. More »


Lindsay Lohan Thinks Disney Will Make Her ‘The Little Mermaid’

Lindsay Lohan thinks she has a shot at The Little Mermaid live-action remake. Truck stop waitress Lindsay Lohan. More »


Lindsay Lohan Instagrammed Her Boobs With A Mother Teresa Quote

Remember how Mother Teresa was always incorporating boobs into her catechism? Lindsay Lohan’s just like her. More »


Lindsay Lohan Proved The Muslim Ban Isn’t Working

Lindsay Lohan injected herself into the Muslim ban controversy, and goddammit, it worked. More »


Lindsay Lohan Has More Class Than Donald Trump? Wow, Jesus

When Donald Trump goes low, Lindsay Lohan goes high. (Actually not a cocaine joke for once.) More »


Lindsay Lohan Is Going To Start World War III

Serious question: Is there any way Angelina Jolie can reverse adopt Lindsay Lohan to Africa? More »


People Somehow Care If Lindsay Lohan Converted To Islam

Lindsay Lohan converting to Islam is apparently something other people besides me will write about. That can’t be good. More »


Lindsay Lohan Scrubbed Her Instagram, Leaves Arabic Message Behind

Lindsay Lohan deleted all of her Instagram posts and has entered a ‘period of renewal.’ So this story is about lava now? I have no idea. More »


Lindsay Lohan Wrote A Poem To ISIS

Lindsay Lohan’s ISIS poem just made me support a Trump policy. It’s fine, I’ll lobotomize myself. More »


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