Posts tagged "Liam Hemsworth"

Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Martin Stopped F*cking

Presumably because Gwyneth Paltrow keeps Chris Martin’s balls firmly ensconced in a hand-carved Sri Lankan testicle cuplet ($799.95, GOOP), his conscious coupling with Jennifer Lawrence’s vagina has transcended this plane of reality, according to E! News. Plus it’s not like he can’t see her naked anytime he wan- what? We’re all thinking it. And I’m…

The Superficial / October 27, 2014

This Is A Post About Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt

A while back there was a big to-do over Jennifer Lawrence’s butt, so here it is at last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire for you to disseminate and inspect without reading a single word I’ve written down here. It’s okay, it’s fine. As long as YOU get what YOU want that&#8217…

The Superficial / November 19, 2013

Jennifer Lawrence’s Side Boob Is Back

It’s been four long days since we last posted Jennifer Lawrence’s side boob. Morale was low. Faced with mutiny, I ordered Photo Boy to put down a horse and ration it among the men. What this accomplished I had not the time nor inclination to ponder for there were only two of us, and we

The Superficial / November 18, 2013

Miley Cyrus Pasties Nipple Crying Kardashians Midget Ass Bikini Twerk

The Emmys are happening right now, and while all of those people are being recognized for a year of hard work collaborating with their peers to make quality television, not a single one of them wore pasties or twerked all over a midget. So here’s Miley Cyrus doing all those things plus interacting with the…

The Superficial / September 22, 2013


Liam Hemsworth has already moved on to Eiza González, so if I’m recalling dating in your 20s protocol right, this is the part where Miley Cyrus fucks the closest dude to her for psychological revenge and convenience. So in this case, that happens to be her “We Can’t Stop” producer Mike WiLL Made It (above)…

The Superficial / September 20, 2013

Liam Hemsworth Traded In Miley Cyrus For This

Earlier in the week, reports were flying that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s breakup was January Jones’ fault which made sense at the time because infidelity powers her ice-bot core. Except it turns out Liam is the smartest man alive and moved his penis over to 23-year-old Mexican singer/actress Eiza González who unlike Miley isn’t…

The Superficial / September 18, 2013

Miley Cyrus Stopped Following Liam Hemsworth On Twitter Because of January Jones

Miley Cyrus has apparently stopped following Liam Hemsworth on Twitter following (new) rumors he’s been hooking up with January Jones again, according to HuffPost Celebrity. Which is amazing because who leaves a lizard tongue ratchet twerk-monster for a single mom with an ice vagina who hates her own spite baby? Is Miley Cyrus really that…

The Superficial / September 16, 2013

Miley Cyrus’ Twerking Is Still Destroying The Very Fabric Of Our Reality

It’s been two weeks since Miley Cyrus twerked all over the VMAs, yet people still haven’t been able to get over the sight of seeing a white girl from the south assimilate black culture into a stage performance which has never happened before in the history of time. It’s like spotting a real, live unicor…

The Superficial / September 9, 2013

Liam Hemsworth Looks Thrilled That Miley Cyrus Came To His Premiere, Just Thrilled

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth together but they’ve got an album and a movie to promote respectively, so here they are at last night’s premiere of Paranoia where Us Weekly reports Liam couldn’t even act like he wanted there despite being, oh I dunno, an actor:

The Superficial / August 9, 2013

Miley Cyrus Tweeted A Pic of Herself In A Wedding Dress, Is Handling The Break-Up Well

Yesterday, Us Weekly reported that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s wedding was off for real this time because these two have never broken up then got right back together before. Anyway, on the heels of that news, Miley decided to tweet a pic of herself in a wedding dress which some people think is a…

The Superficial / May 30, 2013

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth Definitely, 100% Broke Up This Time (Maybe)

According to Us Weekly, Liam Hemsworth finally listened to this brothers Thor and.. Loki(?) by kicking Miley Cyrus to the curb and calling off the wedding. Apparently his whole family hates her which is surprising considering she gets high all the time and flashes people her ass between episodes of Honey Boo Boo. That’s almost…

The Superficial / May 29, 2013

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth Are Probably, Maybe Officially Over. For Realsies.

Despite the fact Liam Hemsworth has been photographed with another woman and fled the fucking continent, apparently we all needed one last official report that he dumped Miley Cyrus, so here’s Page Six with the time of death:
One source said, “Miley and Liam are done; it’s over. She likes to party really hard and…

The Superficial / March 13, 2013

Miley Cyrus’ Fiance Fled To Australia

Miley Cyrus quit Twitter last week after claiming she was sick of tabloid reports that Liam Hemsworth had cheated on her with January Jones and/or Emma Watson. But then she spent the days immediately after that walking around without her engagement ring on, and now People’s reporting Liam fled to Australia to get the fuck…

The Superficial / March 11, 2013

Miley Cyrus Just Quit Twitter Because Everyone Knows Liam Hemsworth Cheated On Her

Amidst rumors that her fiance Liam Hemsworth’s cheated on her, Miley Cyrus quit Twitter this afternoon and denied that she called off her wedding. Which is probably technically true because Liam Hemsworth needs to not be having sex with someone else’s vagina for them to officially break things off. It’s delicate these things:
I am…

The Superficial / March 6, 2013

January Jones Stole Miley Cyrus’ Boyfriend

When I first read the report this morning that Liam Hemsworth is cheating on Miley Cyrus with January Jones, I didn’t believe it because it came from Star and Liam Hemsworth isn’t married. But then I saw this pic of January and him in the same vehicle after a pre-Oscar party, so clearly they fucked…

The Superficial / February 27, 2013

Noah Cyrus’ 13th Birthday Party Looks Appropriate

Ah, 13. That special age in a young girl’s life when her parents let her dress like a prostitute and rent an entire nightclub so everyone can get drunk. This is what makes our country great. This is why we’re great.
Photos: Pacific Coast News

The Superficial / January 10, 2013

Miley Cyrus Is Doin’ A Dang Ol’ Lifetime Movie

Thanks to The Hunger Games becoming a Twilight-esque cash cow, Miley Cyrus has to remind Liam Hemsworth who (doesn’t) wear the pants around here so he doesn’t start gettin’ ideas of stickin’ his porcupine in other cooters. Which is why on top of recording a new album, she’s returning to acting again provided you forget…

The Superficial / October 1, 2012

Hey, Pa, Miley Cyrus’ Dang Ol’ Side-Titty’s Back!

One of the ways to prevent breast formation in men is by switching to organic chicken meat. Unfortunately, no one told poor Justin Bieber here that, so he’s really looking at a rough time when he gets to middle school. “Hey, Bitch-tits,” they’ll probably call him. “You want to come over to my house and…

The Superficial / September 12, 2012

Miley Cyrus Got In A Dang Ol’ Bar Fight

In all the long, veiny, 100% beef, I’ve been a bad, bad secretary confusion yesterday, I missed the TMZ report that Miley Cyrus (Who’s 19, by the way.) is a battery suspect after getting into a fight at a Hollywood bar because it was only a matter of time until her life became The Dukes

The Superficial / September 11, 2012

Miley Cyrus & Pink Have The Same Haircut

Miley Cyrus probably thought she was going to be awesome showing off her new haircut at the VMAs last night except Pink showed up with the same exact one because apparently looking like Brigitte Nielsen (h/t Jill) is in this year, and now that’s all anyone’s talking about. So to help Miley out, here she…

The Superficial / September 7, 2012
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