Posts tagged "Lance Armstrong"

‘Hi, I’m Lance Armstrong. Lick My Butthole?’

Comedian April Macie stopped by Howard Stern on Monday where she recounted a tale about the time she went to a hotel party "five or six years ago" with Lance Armstrong who apparently is very open about asking women he just met to eat his anus. So right about now is where you want to…

By: The Superficial / May 22, 2013

Kate Hudson congratulates Lance Armstrong on new baby

Kate Hudson might have been ditched by Lance Armstrong, but she's willing to be the better person and congratulate him for knocking up his latest girlfriend. And not just for the press it'll generate. - - Goddammit.... People reports: "It's amazing. Congratulations," Hudson told PEOPLE at Monday night's Manhattan premiere of Bride Wars, where she…

By: The Superficial / January 6, 2009

Lance Armstrong’s remaining testicle works

Like any rational man if placed in the same predicament, Lance Armstrong figured "Hey, one nut, no condom." I don't even know where to start with how much sense that makes. Except it turns out God hates Lance Armstrong because he was left with the virile one causing him to knock up girlfriend Anna Hansen.

By: The Superficial / December 24, 2008

Kate Hudson runs back to Chris Robinson

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong's relationship might have just ended, but that doesn't mean she can't immediately screw her ex-husband. Kate was spotted yesterday in New Jersey at Chris Robinson's apartment presumably to make sure she got her daily dose of doing it. I think I'm starting to love this woman. OK! Magazine reports: "They…

By: The Superficial / August 1, 2008

Kate Hudson & Lance Armstrong make like his testicles and stop being a pair

Bad news everybody: Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have broken up. Who saw that coming? Besides Kate Hudson and her unwavering love of new penis. It turns out the two couldn't stop arguing and finally decided to throw in the towel, according to Page Six: Hudson made a last-ditch effort last week, traveling to see…

By: The Superficial / July 30, 2008

Kate Hudson is hot (If you hate breasts)

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong had dinner yesterday with Kate's mom Goldie Hawn which must've made Owen Wilson all kinds of jealous. He never got to meet Goldie! This blows. Why is everyone always walking out on him? Fortunately, there's always good, old reliable heroi- Hey! Mr. Syringe, why're you putting on your top hat…

By: The Superficial / July 2, 2008

Kate Hudson & Lance Armstrong act like they didn’t just have sex in his apartment

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong were caught leaving his Manhattan apartment yesterday. I think the look on Kate's face says it all: "Could've used more testicle." Photos: Splash News

By: The Superficial / June 18, 2008

Kate Hudson & Lance Armstrong make nautical love

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are taking their relationship public and were spotted in Monaco enjoying a day of aquatic romance. I like to believe that after their boat ride, Lance put his arm around Kate and softly whispered in her ear, "Kate, when we have sex later, I should probably warn you I'm missing…

By: The Superficial / May 27, 2008

Kate Hudson dating Lance Armstrong, this celeb-banging train waits for no man! (That means you, Owen Wilson.)

Kate Hudson is wasting no time getting over Owen Wilson and has moved on to champion cyclist Lance Armstrong. I guess the only way for me to touch that butt is to stop using training wheels. But what if I get an ouchie?! Us Magazine reports: The new couple went on a cozy dinner date…

By: The Superficial / May 19, 2008

Ashley Olsen brought in for show and tell

Lance Armstrong's daughter brought his new girlfriend Ashley Olsen to school for show and tell. Usually kids bring in things like rocks, frogs or their dad's porn collection. But his girlfriend? I dunno. Radar reports: One of the part-eunuch biker's young daughters (he has twins) had the honor of taking a more realistic (though slightly…

By: The Superficial / November 14, 2007

Ashley Olsen dating Lance Armstrong

Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other's company, according to Page Six: Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out…

By: The Superficial / October 31, 2007