Posts tagged "Kris Humphries"

Kris Humphries’ Rebound Made A Sex Tape Called ‘The Anti-Kim’

Myla Sinanaj was Kris Humphries’ rebound after Kim Kardashian ended their fake marriage contract early and she’s already demonstrated such Kim-like skills as sloth and lying out her ass, so why not add a sex tape and complete the whole package? Plus it’s not like it’s hard to sell one these days because they’ll literally…

By: The Superficial / August 13, 2013

If Anyone Gives A Shit, Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries Settled Their Divorce

We have grave questions on our plate today from asking how truly vulnerable we are to domestic terrorism to how legal residents were able to stockpile a goddamn arsenal of explosives, firearms and rocket launchers, but what’s really on everyone’s mind is when are Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries finally going to settle that divorce…

By: The Superficial / April 19, 2013

Kim Kardashian Admits Kanye West Knocked Her Up Then Fled The Country

While in court yesterday to settle her divorce from Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian basically admitted she’s been apart from Kanye West longer than they’ve been together. Or in other words, he moved to Paris and left her ass in LA carrying his baby. RadarOnline reports:

And it comes as rumblings are growing that…

By: The Superficial / April 16, 2013

Kanye West Has Two Sex Tapes Now, Kim Kardashian Might Be In The First One After All

TMZ reports there’s a second sex tape featuring Kanye West being shopped around now, although I’m starting to think this is all just him preemptively laying the groundwork for when he’s single again based on lines like this:

Both tapes are impressively long — the first is roughly twenty minutes … and the…

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2012

Kim Kardashian Thinks Criticism For Her Fake Marriage Is Just Like Having Cancer

When I first heard that Kim Kardashian had an interview in The Guardian, my first reaction was to roll my eyes and just assume it was some sort of puff piece about whatever the fuck she’s shilling now. Turns out it’s loaded with enough dry British wit calling out her vapidness to make me want…

By: The Superficial / September 11, 2012

Kris Humphries Sued For Allegedly Giving A Woman Herpes, Woman Sadly Not Kim Kardashian

A year before agreeing to be Kim Kardashian’s fake husband, Kris Humphries allegedly had unprotected sex with a woman who claims he gave her herpes and is now suing him for it because apparently you can do that now. Anyone know what the payout is for the clap? No reason. RadarOnline reports:

“Once…

By: The Superficial / August 30, 2012

Kim Kardashian Broke Kris Humphries’ Parent’s Marriage, Too

Probably because they made a son stupid enough to think Kim Kardashian wouldn’t screw him over the second she needed a new storyline for her show, Kris Humphries’ parents are getting a divorce which I’m also going to blame being exposed to Kris Jenner for because she’s fucking Satan. These poor people never stood a…

By: The Superficial / August 20, 2012

So Kris Humphries Didn’t Get Myla Sinanaj Pregnant Because She Made The Whole Thing Up

So remember last week when Kris Humphries’s rebound Myla Sinanaj claimed he knocked her up? Turns out she made the whole thing up and isn’t even pregnant which she apparently thinks the above pic proves because we’re dealing with a mental giant. TMZ reports:

Myla was out in Jersey earlier today, where a…

By: The Superficial / July 10, 2012

Kris Humphries Got His Rebound From Kim Kardashian Pregnant Like A Genius

It’s no secret Kris Humphries is a gullible idiot, so it only makes sense that he’d follow a spectacularly fake and scripted marriage to Kim Kardashian (That I genuinely believe he thought was real because did I mention idiot?) with knocking up a gold-digger who’s first reaction to finding out she’s pregnant was to immediately…

By: The Superficial / July 5, 2012

Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape Was So Staged By Kris Jenner It Had A Reshoot, Says Kris Humphries

Just some quick background before I get into covering the most obvious fact ever posted on this site: Kris Humphries is fucking terrible at dating women. Just terrible. So right now he’s currently embroiled in a legal battle with Myla Sinanaj his rebound from Kim Kardashian who’s selling everything she found out during her relationshi…

By: The Superficial / June 21, 2012

Kim Kardashian Was Cheating On Kris Humphries With Kanye West The Whole Time

Ever since Kim Kardashian announced their divorce, Kris Humphries has been in a long heated legal battle to have their settlement aired in open court so he can expose the entire marriage as a premeditated fraud by subpoenaing her texts, emails and reality show scripts. On top of that, there’ve been rumors that he ha…

By: The Superficial / April 5, 2012

Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries Never Consummated Their Marriage

Kris Humphries is apparently in the middle of proving Kim Kardashian committed fraud and wants to make sure their divorce proceedings are public so people can find out their split was so calculated she stopped having sex with him the minute the cameras stopped rolling at their wedding. Via Hollywood Life:

“Kim’s freaking…

By: The Superficial / February 15, 2012

Kim Kardashian & Kris Jenner Busted Faking Scenes in Dubai For KKTNY

Back in December, we posted the above pics of Kim Kardashian leaving a studio with Kris Jenner to make fun of her “media lockdown” and like all things Kardashian, immediately pissed them out of our minds if I may stick to a theme here. Turns out they’ve apparently become the smoking black penis gun i…

By: The Superficial / January 16, 2012

Kim Kardashian ‘Didn’t Like Herself Enough’ To Go The People’s Choice Awards

“Thanks for showing up when I called. Bye-eee!”

When Kris Jenner passed out the family talking points for the week, everyone was in agreement that it was going to be Khloe’s turn to be in the spotlight because she’s a fatherless Yeti. Which is probably why her husband loves strippers so much. Anyway,…

By: The Superficial / January 13, 2012

BEST OF 2011: Kim Kardashian’s Engagement Will Be Televised

Welcome to the magical time between Christmas and New Year’s when The Superficial lazily rehashes all the posts you sick sons of bitches couldn’t get enough of. This year, in lieu of a Top 10, we’ve decided to break it down by the best post of each month so we can all relive the joy

By: The Superficial / December 28, 2011

Kris Humphries Booed At First Nets Game

Kris Humphries played his first game with the New Jersey Nets last night since his divorce from Kim Kardashian, and apparently Knicks fans take the sanctity of marriage very seriously – or are extremely protective of massive asses that will one day crush the earth – because they decided to boo the ever-living shit out…

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2011

Kim Kardashian’s Changed, You Guys

Not Pictured: World’s largest black microphone.

After experiencing a reasonable amount of backlash for immediately divorcing Kris Humphries once all the wedding checks cleared, the most obvious and transparent move Kim Kardashian could’ve made was to fly to Haiti and pretend she’s a selfless, humanitarian with nothing but the best interest of other…

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2011

Kim Kardashian: ‘I’d Get Married Again’

If you thought Kim Kardashian’s divorce from Kris Humphries crushed her heart, turning into a cynical woman incapable of believing in the power of love again, you’re a fucking idiot worry not, for hope springs eternal from assy fields of whore. Via Us Magazine:

Despite the sad, fast end of her marriage to…

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2011

Kris Humphries Wants An Annulment So Prenup Will Be Dismissed

“Our entire marriage was a fraud right down to this prosthetic penis she made me carry all the time. Oh, God, I can still smell the foam rubber…”

I want to say I’ve been holding off on covering Kris Humphries seeking an annulment of his marriage to Kim Kardashian because I wanted to…

By: The Superficial / December 2, 2011

Kim Kardashian Is On A ‘Media Lockdown’

Seen here pretending she didn’t tip off the paparazzi so she can pretend she doesn’t want to her picture taken, Kim Kardashian has apparently been placed on a “media lockdown” by Kris Jenner who honestly believes limiting Kim’s exposure will make people love her again and be excited for the next season of Kim &

By: The Superficial / November 23, 2011
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