Posts tagged "Kevin Jonas"

Kevin Jonas Knocked Up His Wife. Somehow.

Kevin Jonas finally tossed a beaker of semen close enough to his wife’s icky parts that she’s expecting a child, E! News reports with possibly different words than what I just said, but don’t quote me on that. Except that’s not fair because the guy did marry a woman and impregnated her, so I should…

By: The Superficial / July 10, 2013

‘Whee! We’re Rich And On Drugs Just Like Hippies! F*ck You, Dad!’

“Shit. Did I lock the Beamer?”
“Hehe! I traded it for acid. Do me in that clown skull!”

Here’s the rest of the first weekend of Coachella where rich people dressed like an American Eagle ad and stuffed themselves so full of drugs they forgot they had children and/or nothing but a

By: The Superficial / April 15, 2013

The Jonas Brothers should stick to virginity and other news

- Hayden Panettiere wants to sit at the big kids table. [Lainey Gossip]

- Sarah Palin gets owned by a retarded person. [PopEater]

- Tiger Woods Should Be Allowed to Fuck Everything: A Valid Defense. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Hilary Duff is engaged. (Relevancy not implied.) [Just Jared]

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By: The Superficial / February 19, 2010

Kevin Jonas looks thrilled

Honeymooners Kevin Jonas and Danielle Deleasa were spotted in Mexico yesterday, and for a guy who lost his virginity just a few days ago, he doesn’t seem too excited. I understand he saw things his dad warned him about. Things that only babies should come out of and you should never stare directly at…

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2009

Kevin Jonas gets to touch a vagina soon!

- Kevin Jonas is engaged to his girlfriend of two years, and holy shit, is that an eternity of dry-humping. A lesser man would’ve shot himself. (Read: This guy.) [Pink is the New Blog]

- Gwyneth Paltrow’s mouth continues to be a never-ending stream of smarm. [PopSugar]

- Lindsay Lohan calls Justin

By: The Superficial / July 1, 2009