Kelly Bensimon

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Kelly Bensimon in a bikini isn’t helping

Christ, what a shitty day for bikinis. Here’s Kelly Bensimon in Miami yesterday and between her and Serena Williams it feels like my choices were between Over-tanned Joe Perry with Implants or Darth Vader. Obviously I chose both which, to be honest, is exactly how I’d handle that situation if it happened in real… More »


Kelly Bensimon in a Bikini

Here’s Kelly Bensimon of The Real Housewives of New York in Miami yesterday and it turns out she’s actually single which makes the show one big, gigantic lie solely made to toy with my emotions. Which is great. Now where am I supposed to learn about constantly bikini-clad gold-digging whor- Oh, right, the Kardashians.
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Kelly Bensimon in a bikini

It’s been getting way too heavy around here, so thank God someone finally put a bikini on. Unfortunately none of you know who Kelly Bensimon is because she’s on The Real Housewives of New York which exactly five people watch yet somehow you’re dating one of them. On that note, to extract any sexiness… More »