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More Katie Holmes stories


Leah Remini And JLo Ruined Space Jesus’ Wedding

Scientology did something crazy to protect Tom Cruise’s sensitive fee-fees? That can’t be right.

Carmen Ribecca |

What’s Up, Katie Holmes’ Butt Cheeks?

Katie Holmes directed her butt to do this. This is her art.

Mike Redmond |

Tom Cruise Hasn’t Seen Suri In A Year

Question: How is Tom Cruise not being around a bad thing?

Mike Redmond |

Suppressive Person? What? Scientology Loves Katie Holmes LOL

Scientology doesn’t know where Katie Holmes is getting this suppressive person talk from. They love his ex-wives! Even Mimi Rogers who everyone forgets about.

Mike Redmond |

Katie Holmes & Jamie Foxx Caught Holding Hands, Are Totally Doing It

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were holding hands? THEY FUCKIN’.

Mike Redmond |

The Golden Globes After Parties We Missed

And to conclude our coverage of the Golden Globes, here are a bunch of celebrities at 18 different after parties celebrating themselves for starring in a three-hour long national broadcast celebrating themselves because they truly are our unsung heroes. Would it kill everybody to stop and talk about them more? They work totes hard.

Mike Redmond |

MET Gala 2014: WTF Happened Here?

Because Photo Boy and I know jackshit about fashion – *fingers hole in Iron Man t-shirt* – here’s our gallery of the most questionable outfits from last night MET Gala punctuated by Kate Upton’s huge breasts which are making her getup look less and less ridiculous by the second. In fact, is she glowing to…

Mike Redmond |

Katie Holmes In A Bikini

Katie Holmes spent most of November looking like an even bigger saint after more details of her divorce from Tom Cruise were leaked to the press. Details like Scientology literally equates her with Hitler and will use every means at their disposal to stop her from committing a psychic holocaust or some stupid bullshit. So…

Mike Redmond |

Happy Veterans Day! Tom Cruise Says Acting Is Just Like Serving In Afghanistan

Left to right, Sergeant Thomas Mapother, UAF Volleyball Brigade, with Private Johnathan Depp, 82nd Bolo Tie Division.

While I watch elementary school kids (No Jacko.) sing a tribute to veterans this morning, here’s Tom Cruise stepping in even more shit thanks to his $50 million lawsuit against In Touch. Which is what happens…

Mike Redmond |

Tom Cruise Admits Katie Holmes Left Him Because of Scientology

“What am I doing? Not getting fisted by a futuristic exoskeleton that’s for sure. E-meter?”

Because Tom Cruise believes he’s a levitating space Jesus, he occasionally finds himself in situations where he’s certain he’ll vanquish his enemies with an all-consuming pulsar of justice, but instead ends up looking a crazy person. Situations like…

Mike Redmond |

Jamie Foxx Is 100% Not Banging Katie Holmes, According To Jamie Foxx

Back in August, Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were spotted dancing together which led to rumors that he grabbed her ass and she turned him down for sex. Which made sense at the time because Tom Cruise probably rigged her vagina to explode if it isn’t fully clothed, and that takes a while to not…

Mike Redmond |

Katie Holmes Is Hot Again

It’s been a long time since Katie Holmes has been the beautiful, young sweetheart America used to masturbate to in The Gift, almost addictively, so it’s nice to see the effects of whatever the hell Tom Cruise did to her finally allow her to feel such complex emotions as, “Shit, my legs are awesome.” On…

Mike Redmond |

Jamie Foxx Grabbed Katie Holmes’ Ass, Yet She Didn’t Have Sex With Him? That’s Strange

“Grab. That. Woman’s. Ass.”
“I’m tryin’, Colin Powell, I’m tryin’.”

It’s been over a year since Katie Holmes divorced Tom Cruise, so allow me to be the voice of reason that says Jamie Foxx was well within his rights to borderline sexually assault the ex-wife of a former co-star. In fact, I’d…

Mike Redmond |

Good Morning, Katie Holmes’ Side-Boob, And
Other News

- Fun Fact: Reese Witherspoon’s Atlanta PD hat? A cheap knock-off they didn’t give her. [Lainey Gossip]

- Helen Mirren cursed out a gay pride parade making too much noise while dressed as The Queen. [Dlisted]

– The under-appreciated, under-utilized under-boob. [theCHIVE]

- Beyonce doesn’t understand why someone would…

Mike Redmond |

Tom Cruise Never Said He Was Surprised By Divorce, Tom Cruise Knows Everything

Earlier in the week, Tom Cruise was quoted as saying he was surprised by his divorce from Katie Holmes and that sometimes “life is a challenge” and you need to have a “sense of humor.” Which sound like safe, bland quotes about a not-too-recent divorce until you realize you’re dealing with a man whose religion…

Mike Redmond |

Of Course Tom Cruise Won’t Press Charges Against These Sexy Eyes, He’s Not An Animal

On Sunday night, male model Jason Sullivan (above) got shithammered drunk and attempted to return home to Tom Cruise’s neighbor house where he’s been staying. And by attempted I mean he accidentally tried to enter the Fortress of Xenu where this pretty much happened: “Seriously, dudes, I totally live here, why are you being dick-…

Mike Redmond |

Katie Holmes Is Calling Up Old Boyfriends Now, But Mostly Just Joshua Jackson

Seen here trying to incept her way back into Joshua Jackson’s mind just like Tom did with all those aliens, those dead, dead aliens with their oddly human muscular male bodies, oh God, she can still hear their screams… Katie Holmes apparently called up Pacey out of the blue the other day which sounds way…

Mike Redmond |
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