Posts tagged "Kate Major"

There Is Another… Lohan… Again

Speaking of children who have no business existing, while Lindsay Lohan spent yesterday in court watching her new lawyer perform such dazzling legal maneuvers as “This here’s my lucky rabbit’s foot” and “Lookin’ beautiful today, ya honah,” (No really.), her dad was learning that 8,567 kicks to the vagina still isn’t enough to abort a…

The Superficial / January 31, 2013

Michael Lohan Hopes His New Bastard Turns Out Just Like Lindsay. Me Too.

It’s always a good rule of thumb to never make a big announcement about being pregnant during the first trimester because if anything really bad’s going to go wrong, it’s then. However, this approach doesn’t allow you to call Harvey Levin while Kate Major is still wiping the pee off her snooch and scream, “BABY!

The Superficial / July 19, 2012

Michael Lohan & Kate Major Finally Made The Baby They Can Milk For Press They’ve Always Wanted

Michael Lohan and Kate Major have an on/off relationship that’s so volatile, the latest restraining order barring them from being near each other literally just expired the other week. So of course she’s pregnant now just like all those times she pretended to be to piss him off because he’d constantly ejaculate inside her just…

The Superficial / July 16, 2012

Kate Major Really Wants Michael Lohan To Think She’s Pregnant

Because Kate Major is an idiot, here she is pretending she’s so famous the paparazzi follow her into drug stores and that this isn’t at all an orchestrated attempt to make Michael Lohan sweat by thinking she’s pregnant. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not ruling out she might actually be pregnant because, again, Kate…

The Superficial / November 15, 2011

Michael Lohan Was Drunk, High During Arrest, Also Thought He Was Spider-Man

“Now there’s a vagina I’d like to kick. In the vagina…”
When Michael Lohan was arrested last night, it was reported that he attempted to jump out his hotel window only to land in a tree. Turns out it’s way more hilarious than that, mainly because he was shit-faced drunk and high on who know…

The Superficial / October 27, 2011

Michael Lohan Got Arrested Again

Later, Michael’s bond would be revoked after giving his bondsman’s wife a foot massage.
Here’s Michael Lohan shortly after posting bail yesterday afternoon for allegedly beating Kate Major again either because, her story, she refused to blow him or, his story, because he ejaculated in her and she got all pissy about it while hopped…

The Superficial / October 27, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Posing Nude For Playboy

Let the descent into porn begin. TMZ reports:

Sources tell us the deal has been in the works for months, and that Lindsay balked at an initial $750K offer because she wanted … ONE MILLION dollars … to show the world what her momma gave her (apologies for the DiLo reference).
We’re…

The Superficial / October 25, 2011

Michael Lohan Loves Small Animals, Clearly He’s Innocent

“As you can see in these photographs, your honor, clearly a man taking such care of a tiny dog he’s never been seen with before can’t be guilty of Kate Major’s accusations. A woman who, if I were a lesser man, might say deserved a foot to the meatbox, but I digress. So, again, just…

The Superficial / March 24, 2011

Tila Tequila Wore a Costume, Too, And Other News

(Sorry for not posting these yesterday. I honestly thought she was just going to the grocery store. Or church.)
- Randy and Evi Quaid continue to excel at life. [Popeater]
- Pink wants you to beat your kids more. She must be watching Teen Mom. [Dlisted]
- Evan Rachel Wood and Ryan Gosling? [Lainey Gossip]…

The Superficial / November 2, 2010

Lindsay Lohan in One of Those Crazy Taiwanese Video Things

Lindsay Lohan’s jail fiasco has apparently been reenacted in one of those random-ass Taiwanese CGI videos (after the jump) and this thing has fucking everything:
– Bikini-clad prison guards.
– Lindsay dropping the soap in the shower.
– Lesbian kisses.
– And the coup de grĂ¢ce, Michael Lohan whipping a shoe at Kate Major’s face.

The Superficial / August 5, 2010

Michael Lohan Sold Nude Photos of Kate Major (Allegedly)

Because there’s no better way to say “Sorry for kicking you in the face,” Michael Lohan has allegedly been shopping around nude photos of his ex-fiancee Kate Major (above) which she tells Popeater were taken without her knowledge. More importantly, I did not add the Charlie Tuna on the third pic, so don’t expect it…

The Superficial / July 23, 2010

Michael Lohan Charged for Attacking Fiancee

I always knew, deep in my heart, these pics would come back to bite Michael Lohan in the ass. Then again, that’s usually the price of trying to be Stallone in Over the Top. Moving on…

Michael Lohan has been officially charged with 2nd degree harassment for allegedly assaulting his now ex-fiancee Kate

The Superficial / July 22, 2010

Michael Lohan Assaulted Another Fiancee

Took long enough.

Realizing Oksana Grigorieva might be onto something, former Jon Gosselin-groupie turned Michael Lohan-fiancee Kate Major is claiming Lindsay’s dad physically assaulted her during an argument this week and that she has hospital records to prove it. TMZ reports:…

The Superficial / July 21, 2010

Lindsay Lohan’s life is awesome

While her dad is threatening conversatorships or whatever the hell he has to say to keep him and his starfucker fiance mugging for the cameras, Lindsay Lohan is now being named as a suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex. TMZ reports:
We’re told the watch belongs to one of Lindsay’s “friends,” who accidentally…

The Superficial / April 23, 2010

Michael Lohan will make a great husband

I seriously wasn’t trying to make this a Lohan morning, but I couldn’t pass up these shots of Michael Lohan in Philly last night as he pretends to bang porn star Gina Lynn at a press conference for some celebrity boxing dealie. Even better his new fiancee Kate Major is there to see the face…

The Superficial / April 8, 2010

Lindsay Lohan reacts to dad’s engagement

Lindsay Lohan has responded to news her father is engaged to Jon Gosselin’s ex Kate Major:
“I’m gonna vomit!” she told UsMagazine.com after hearing the wedding news Tuesday. “I so didn’t need that info … Yuck!”
Interesting. I could’ve sworn her reaction would’ve been more along the lines of snorting 25 lines of coke the…

The Superficial / April 7, 2010

Michael Lohan and Kate Major are engaged

Clearly seeing transparent press conferences involving Lindsay Lohan’s drug addictions as a ticket to fame, starfucker Kate Major is engaged to Michael Lohan. Us Magazine reports:
Lohan says he was waiting for the “situation with Lindsay to resolve” before announcing the engagement. He has been encouraging his troubled daughter to enter rehab.
“[Two weeks ago],…

The Superficial / April 7, 2010

Lindsay’s parents are dickheads

Michael Lohan held a press conference yesterday at his lawyer’s office yesterday where he announced his plans to get Lindsay in rehab before she dies but really just wanted an opportunity to shove his face in the press. I mean, Christ, he even brought his star-fucker girlfriend who literally smiled for the cameras. “Everyone say…

The Superficial / March 31, 2010

Michael Lohan had a heart attack

Lindsay Lohan’s dad apparently suffered a heart attack Tuesday afternoon, according to TMZ:
Michael Lohan was taken to a hospital in New York after suffering chest pains that radiated to his arms. Kate says an EKG showed evidence of a heart attack.
Kate says Michael is at St. Francis Hospital in Manhasset. She says Michael…

The Superficial / March 17, 2010

Michael Lohan must like jail

Seen here with his new girlfriend The Dumb Bitch Who Thought She Could Ride Jon Gosselin’s Penis to Stardom (Pretty sure that’s her legal name.), Michael Lohan was arrested yesterday for calling his ex-girlfriend Erin Muller in violation of a restraining order, according to the New York Post:
He allegedly phoned Muller at work o…

The Superficial / January 29, 2010
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