Posts tagged "Justin Timberlake"

A Child Passed Through Jessica Biel’s Vagina, His Name Is Silas

Justin Timberlake has to pay child support when he eventually gets caught cheating on Jessica Biel. (I’m not into lede burying.)…

The Superficial | April 13, 2015 - 8:00 am

Jessica Biel Is Pregnant. For Real.

It seems like only six days ago I wrote a post about Jessica Biel being pregnant, and that’s because I did because butt photos: whatever gets them on the site. But this time, there’s an “official” announcement from Us Weekly, so now we can all sleep at night knowing that, yes, Justin Timberlake has in…

The Superficial | November 5, 2014 - 8:55 am

Jessica Biel’s Probably Pregnant

The biggest rumor going around right now is that Jessica Biel is probably pregnant which was only fueled more by the editor of InStyle publicly congratulating her on her “impending motherhood,” and Justin Timberlake showing up to the amfAR Gala without her. On top of that, you’ve got these photos that cost way more than…

The Superficial | October 31, 2014 - 11:20 am

Rihanna’s Breasts Fought AIDS, Too

Here’s Rihanna at yesterday’s amfAR Inspiration Gala where she spent the whole night saying things like, “Damn! Miley Cyrus and that mouse with an Australian accent just shot a guy with a plunger!” And, “Oh snap, that fly’s wearing a red shirt!” It really was an incredible evening. You should’ve been there.

The Superficial | October 30, 2014 - 11:52 am

Dax Shepard Almost Beat The Shit Out of Justin Timberlake After His Punk’d Episode

Dax Shepard gets a lot of shit for being, well, Dax Shepard. Which is understandable considering him and his wife went on TV and literally compared getting their picture taken with child molestation, so fuck him. However, he was on the best/only good episode of Punk’d where Justin Timberlake was literally brought to tears after…

The Superficial | September 22, 2014 - 2:46 pm

Justin Timberlake Called Madonna ‘My Ninja’ On Twitter, Is In Some Shit

To celebrate the ancient day when dark forces penetrated this realm, manifesting themselves into the physical form we now know as Madonna, mortal slave to the bone hands, Justin Timberlake took to Twitter where he proclaimed the following message to all the land. Via ONTD:
A HAPPIEST of Bdays to my mother chucking ninja, @Madonna!!

The Superficial | August 18, 2014 - 11:05 am

Lindsay Lohan Wrote A List of All The Celebrities She’s Banged

Lindsay Lohan will do anything for money from blowing Charlie Sheen to letting Oprah televise what an unreliable and completely full of shit drug addict she is. Which is why it comes as no surprise that In Touch is now sitting on a handwritten (and naturally misspelled) list of celebrities Lindsay Lohan has slept with

The Superficial | March 12, 2014 - 10:50 am

Aw, Jay Z’s Lonely In His Mansion And Other News

- Tatiana Maslany will be on Parks and Rec. Yessss. [Lainey Gossip]
- Shailene Woodley is our new Earth Mother Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, good. [Dlisted]
- Girls Are Working Out Hard For The Weekend [theCHIVE]
- Fergie no longer has two penises attached to her body. [tooFab]
– Mashing up The Dark Knight Rises and…

The Superficial | August 30, 2013 - 9:03 am

Justin Timberlake’s Video Has Naked Ladies, Too, You Guys. He’s Still Cool!

Earlier in the year, Robin Thicke released a video for “Blurred Lines” that got a bunch of buzz after it was pulled from YouTube because it’s 90% Emily Ratajkowski dancing around naked and therefore awesome. So naturally Justin Timberlake tried to do the same thing for his new single “Tunnel Vision” because it’s impossible to…

The Superficial | July 8, 2013 - 11:03 am

Aww, Kanye’s Sad Jay-Z Plays With Justin Timberlake Now Instead Of Him

While performing in London on Saturday, Kanye West decided to bitch about Justin Timberlake who’s working with Jay-Z now which I’m sure has nothing to do with Kim Kardashian trying to touch Beyonce thus absorbing her essence. He also bitched about the Grammys before going on a rant about shucking and jiving for drink sponsorships.

The Superficial | February 25, 2013 - 3:14 pm

The 55th Annual Grammy Awards

“I was told this was filled with Boston cream, not seeing any.”
Here’s the rest of The 55th Annual Grammy Awards that doesn’t involve Katy Perry’s awesome breasts, Kat Dennings’ almost-as-awesome breasts, evidence in Rihanna’s murder or Jennifer Lopez’s dress making it look like she has huge, giant testicles. Except now I’ve completely undersold this…

The Superficial | February 11, 2013 - 11:19 am

Jessica Biel Already Wants To Act With Justin Timberlake. BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have barely been married a month and already she wants the two of them to act together because the key to a good marriage is suffocation. Hours upon hours of suffocation. Leave no hope for escape. Via Us Magazine:
“I think you have to be very careful about working with…

The Superficial | November 20, 2012 - 3:00 pm

Gerard Butler Hates Himself For Losing Jessica Biel

When we last left Gerard Butler, fellow cokehead Lindsay Lohan was convinced she could get him to star in a Lifetime movie with her, and things really haven’t improved since then because apparently he sits around now sulking about how he got to have sex with Jessica Biel without marrying her. It’s like living in…

The Superficial | November 13, 2012 - 1:05 pm

Justin Timberlake Apologizes For Homeless Video, Now With Easy-To-Read Translations For The Poor

Now that everyone knows his best friend made a wedding video mocking homeless people he may or may not have paid $40, Justin Timberlake has written an open letter on his website (which has since crashed) apologizing for the video and taking full responsibility for it if full responsibility means immediately using his charity work…

The Superficial | October 26, 2012 - 1:02 pm

Homeless Man Made $40 To Appear In Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel Wedding Video

Thanks to Justin Timberlake having shit taste in friends, everyone’s talking about his wedding to Jessica Biel but only in the context of why the fuck his douchebag buddy Justin Huchel (Huchel. H-U-C-H-E-L) would make homeless people wish them good luck at their $6.5 million ceremony in southern Italy. And, of course, TMZ tracked down…

The Superficial | October 25, 2012 - 3:24 pm

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel’s $6.5 Million Wedding Made Fun Of The Homeless

During Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake’s $6.5 million wedding in Italy last weekend, Justin’s good pal, real estate agent Justin Huchel thought it’d be hilarious to record a bunch of homeless people in LA congratulating the happy couple and saying they couldn’t make it because, haha, they’re totally poor! WACKA WACKA! Via Gawker:
The 8:30…

The Superficial | October 25, 2012 - 9:00 am

Justin Bieber Hangs Up On Radio Interview After Being Compared To Justin Timberlake. Favorably.

When Justin Bieber isn’t drawing little penises all over everything, he’s increasingly acting like one which is entirely unusual for an 18-year-old, I know. Here he is getting pissy with Mojo in the Morning after being favorably compared to Justin Timberlake and then being asked about One Direction. Via Hollywood Life:
The interview with Justin…

The Superficial | July 3, 2012 - 10:11 am

I’m Pretty Sure Amanda Seyfried Just Called Justin Timberlake Gay

In the March issue of Glamour, Amanda Seyfried sets the record straight that she did NOT bang Justin Timberlake and then takes it one step further by basically outing him which is the only way to read this:
Oh, I think any female that meets him at first is like, “I want to date you.”…

The Superficial | February 2, 2012 - 9:37 am

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel Are Engaged

After having sex with Mila Kunis, Olivias Munn and Wilde, probably Amanda Seyfried and pretty much anyone with a vagina who walked past him, Justin Timberlake decided to get back together with Jessica Biel and propose to her because.. he smokes a lot of weed? Beats me. Us Weekly reports:
Timberlake, a six-time Grammy winner,…

The Superficial | January 4, 2012 - 10:48 am
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