Justin Theroux


More Justin Theroux stories

Jennifer Aniston Married Justin Theroux’s Floppy Penis

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux had one of those stupid surprise weddings, so this post is about his floppy dick instead. … More »

The Golden Globes After Parties We Missed

And to conclude our coverage of the Golden Globes, here are a bunch of celebrities at 18 different after parties celebrating themselves for starring in a three-hour long national broadcast celebrating themselves because they truly are our unsung heroes. Would it kill everybody to stop and talk about them more? They work totes hard.
More »

Jennifer Aniston & Courteney Cox Are In Bikinis And Other News

Posted by Photo Boy

- Anne Hathaway put her dog’s shit on a paparazzo’s windshield, so here’s that time one of them got a shot of her vag. Solidarity, brothers! [Lainey Gossip]

- Jon Gosselin is actually right. Everyone does know Kate is an asshole. [Dlisted]

- Some GirlsMore »

So Jennifer Aniston Really Is Pregnant (Probably)

Back in July, Jennifer Aniston was looking a little plumper in the baby pouch and then showed up to the premiere of We Are The Millers looking like this which she played off as her just eating too much and then pranced around in a bikini looking not-as-sperminated leaving the trail as cold as her… More »

Jennifer Aniston’s Still In A Bikini And Other News

- Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow hating the shit out of each other in the Hamptons is a reality show I would actually watch. [Lainey Gossip]

– I, too, could’ve sworn Wentworth Miller already came out, but more importantly now we get to watch Republicans being forced to choose which they love more:… More »

Jennifer Aniston Just Put On Weight, A Likely Story…

Jennifer Aniston looked like this at the premiere of We Are The Millers (And stomach touching. Scientifically-proving stomach touching.), so naturally none of us should think she’s pregnant because that shit is “exhausting” her. Via NY Daily News:

“It does feel a bit like they’ve exhausted the question, and also the speculations. It’s… More »

Can We All Agree Jennifer Aniston’s Pregnant Now?

Two weeks ago, we joked that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant because she touched her stomach which, in our defense, is way more reliable than an ultrasound. And you can tell your doctor I said that after you pay him like a sucker. Except here she is at the premiere of We’re The Millers last night… More »

Jennifer Aniston’s Still In A Bikini And Other News

- A touching mother/daughter moment presented by Courtney Love and Frances Bean [Dlisted]

- Anna Paquin gave birth to twins three months ago, yet somehow nobody knows their name or the sex. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure I could draw a diagram of Snooki’s cervix. (Pro Tip: Make sure to include 8 tentacles.) [LaineyMore »

Jennifer Aniston Is Rich, Therefore Bikini-Clad For Christmas

Posted by Photo Boy

It’s a rich tradition amongst the wealthy and the soulless, heavenly-bodied models who exchange sex with them for a life of luxury to jet off to a tropical locale for Christmas. Fortunately for black-hearted, granny fetish perverts like myself us, Jennifer Aniston is no exception to this rule, so… More »

If You’re Staring At Jennifer Aniston’s Cleavage Right Now, We’re Dead. Just Kidding! (Maybe)

If you’re reading this post right now, that means Photo Boy and I never made it to our computers this morning because we both don’t have power and/or weren’t worthy enough followers of Barack Obama, so he murdered us with the hurricane he summoned with his Kenya magic to win the election. Playas gotta play. More »

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Therouz Got Engaged. For Real This Time.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were rumored to get married this weekend – They didn’t. – so Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux probably feel pretty embarrassed that they got engaged at what they thought was the same time and now they have to get married. Suckers. People reports:

“Justin Theroux had an amazing… More »

Jennifer Aniston’s Getting Married Now. Of Course.

Whenever anyone writes about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, there’s inevitably some joke about a jilted, bitter Jennifer Aniston which is then inevitably followed by a few random people defending her and saying she’s moved on with her life and couldn’t care less about Brad and Angelina. So to those people, I want you to… More »

Jennifer Aniston Got A Star On The Hollywood
Walk Of Fame

Here’s Jennifer Aniston receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday so just assume they’re handing these things out to people who are 90% famous for getting epically dumped by Brad Pitt now because it sure as shit can’t be for her memorable film roles. (Case in point: What was her character’s name… More »

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux Are Trying For A Baby

“So, listen, don’t be mad, just hear me out: When I stick my penis in you, it turns into an icicle. Just curious how that’s going to work out- and you’re mad. You’re mad, aren’t you? Fuck it, you want to be like this? We’re snatching children. I said it.”

Pretty much what… More »

Jennifer Aniston Made Justin Theroux Shave His Beard

When she wasn’t talking about Brad Pitt again – that’s how you know she has a movie coming out – Jennifer Aniston apparently found time to make Justin Theroux shave his beard off because the first rule of Ice Vagina Club is don’t talk about Ice Vagina Club. (Rule #2: No facial hair.) Granted, he… More »

Jennifer Aniston Might Be Engaged

On Sunday night, a blurry Jennifer Aniston was spotted with what looks like a ring on her engagement ring finger while arriving at the Waldorf. Monday night, she’s spotted still wearing it outside The Daily Show although it’s clearly not a diamond ring, but some sort of gold ring with writing which is more than… More »

Jennifer Aniston Has a Tattoo Now

Jen’s To Do List

1. Wreck a home.
2. Get tattoos.
3. Abduct children.
4. Shit a baby into the water in Africa. (Check w/ gyno if still fertile.)

If I were foreign, now would be a good time to hide my kid in the crawlspace.

More »

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux Are Living Together

Where one home has been wrecked, let another take its place to be wrecked at a later date. Us Weekly reports:

“He’s living at her place in L.A.!” an insider tells the new Us Weekly, out now. “And she’s introducing him as her boyfriend.” That’s a big deal for Aniston, 42, who hasn’t… More »

Jennifer Aniston is a Homewrecker Now, The Circle is Complete…

Since what feels like the dawn of time, Jennifer Aniston has constantly portrayed herself as the poor innocent victim of an “uncool” Angelina Jolie. The wholesome girl next door left to die by a tattooed homewrecker in her quest to collect all the world’s children. So going through that experience, you’d just assume Jennifer Aniston… More »