Jose Canseco

Jose Canseco’s Hot 18-Year-Old Daughter Got A DUI

Jose Canseco’s daughter is hot. Oh, and something about a DUI. It’s not important. More »

Jose Canseco Selling Gun That Shot His Finger Off

Yesterday, we learned that Jose Canseco’s finger fell off during a poker tournament which is generally what happens after you explode it off your body with a bullet then try to reattach it with a few stitches, and I’m not even a real doctor. And now’s the part where you come in because he’s selling… More »

Jose Canseco’s Finger Fell Off At A Poker Game

A few weeks back, Jose Canseco managed to do the impossible by shooting his finger off and bringing together both sides of the gun control argument to laugh at his stupidity. Even more amazingly, I learned from gun nuts that, “It went off while I was cleaning it!” almost always means “I was playing with… More »

Jose Canseco Shot His Finger Off

“Come into my world, flower. If you can handle it.”

There’s an even more sick and disturbing Honey Boo Boo update coming up, so before I darken everybody’s soul with that (The Superficial: I’mma Put My Pain In You), let’s laugh at an idiot shooting his own finger off because natural selection is… More »

Jose Canseco’s Being Investigated For Rape

According to a statement by the Las Vegas Police Department, Jose Canseco is being investigated for the rape of a fitness instructor who he’s apparently already named on Twitter like an idiot along with revealing her exact allegations and claiming he’ll take a polygraph test. Both of which he’s since taken down, yet still left… More »

Madonna begged Jose Canseco to hit a home-run in her uterus

Apparently Madonna has a thing for married baseball players. Jose Canseco has thrown his hat into the A-Rod fiasco by recounting the time Madonna begged him to knock her up in 1991. Us Weekly reports:

“She wanted to get married and have a child with me — she wanted a Cuban child,” More »