Jon Gosselin


More Jon Gosselin stories

Jon Gosselin Works At T.G.I. Friday’s

Jon Gosselin: Crushin’ life like he crushed dem ho’s. More »

Put Jon Gosselin On Suicide Watch, Christian Audigier Is Dead

Jon Gosselin Wants Full Custody Of One of His Kids Now, Just One

Jon Gosselin wants full custody of his daughter Hannah. The other seven? Pfft. Fuck ‘em. More »

Jon Gosselin’s A DJ Now

Jon Gosselin just made the thought “Maybe Kate Gosselin isn’t a terrible cunt” flicker across my consciousness. He is now my sworn enemy. More »

Kate Gosselin’s Nanny Escaped To Tell Her Tale

In a surprising move considering Kate Gosselin’s eyes see all, and in the darkness, all see Kate, one of her nannies has escaped the compound and is talking to the media about just how anal a shrill mother of eight kids can be. As for how the nanny escaped, I’d assume by using the children… More »

Jon Gosselin’s Suing Kate For Custody Of The Sextuplets

“Oh, fuck, how am I going to make money?”
“Oh, fuck, why didn’t he take us?!”

In the aftermath of his daughters embarrassing the living shit out of his ex-wife on live television, Jon Gosselin apparently feels emboldened enough to sue for full custody of their sextuplets, just the sextuplets, on the… More »

Jon Gosselin Will (Justifiably) Revel In Kate’s Today Show Disaster Now

“Shh, I’m still savoring the humiliation. *closes eyes* Mmm.. Mmmmm.. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!”

Kate Gosselin thought she’d just pop up on TODAY yesterday and make Jon look like an idiot by proving their kids aren’t damaged from being on reality television by making them throw their own father under the bus to a nationwide daytime… More »

Jon Gosselin Got A Vasectomy, Thank F*cking God

Granted, this is eight kids, a reality show, and a shrill harpie of an ex-wife hoisted upon humanity too late, I’ll take it. E! News reports:
The former reality star revealed during an interview on The Wendy Williams Show Tuesday that he had a vasectomy, after stating that he and girlfriend Liz Jannetta won’t… More »

Did Jon Gosselin Shoot At The Paparazzi To Promote Kate’s Cookbook?

Last week, Jon Gosselin fired a warning shot at a photographer that trespassed outside his house shortly after everyone found out he’s a waiter living in a cabin in the woods. Coincidentally, this happened just days before the release of Kate’s new cookbook, and even more coincidentally, she’s suing his dick off for allegedly stealingMore »

Jon Gosselin Waits Tables Now

Not too long ago, life was incredible for Jon Gosselin. His shrew wife left him, making him only partially responsible for the eight children she defied science and God to make fall out of her, and it was an endless parade of having sex with (un)beautiful women on the back of an ATV. They say,… More »

Kate Gosselin is Already Trying To Whore Out Her Kids Again

While promoting the final season of Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin stopped by The Today Show this morning where she basically shot down Jon’s advice for her to get a real job and provide a normal life for their kids:

“Well, it’s a situation where Jon may be accepting of mediocre for his… More »

Jon Gosselin Tells Kate To Stop Bitching

Yesterday, People released an exclusive interview with Kate Gosselin where she revealed she’s “freaking out” about how she’s going to provide for her kids now that Kate Plus 8 has been canceled, mostly because she’s been pissing all her money away on tummy tucks and new Audis (above). Enter Jon Gosselin who’s somehow managed to… More »

‘Kate Plus 8′ Got Canceled, The Gosselin Reign of Terror Has Ended

“Let’s see, 8:15: Go for a jog. 8:45: Fall off the face of the Earth into the mouth of a dragon.”

If you were standing outside yesterday and noticed the clouds magically part as a golden ray of sunshine shined down upon mankind, TLC canceled Kate Plus 8 after enough people finally realized… More »

Kate Gosselin is Here to Steal Christmas

After spending her morning trying to claim her kids weren’t expelled from school despite simultaneously blaming Jon for it, Kate Gosselin stepped out in New York on Wednesday to remind everyone this is the time of year when she straps antlers on her dog and breaks into your house. To prove my point, Taylor MomsenMore »

The Gosselins Angered Cher

See? You see that anger? — Okay, maybe her face doesn’t move. But it’s palpable, my friend. Palpable.

In probably the most random news item I’ve read in the past five minutes, Cher was apparently a die-hard Jon and Kate Plus 8 fan who was outraged to see its stars became the vindictive… More »

Discovery Gunman is All You, Gosselins

(And, no, not because he’s Asian. Jerks.)

What at first seemed like another heroic attempt to bring us Shark MONTH, the manifesto of James Lee (above), the armed gunman possibly holding an explosive device in the Discovery Channel building, has been found and it suggests a man so thoroughly sick of reality shows… More »

Jon Gosselin Extorted Money From Kate

“You may call me, The Blobfather.”

According to his ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman, Jon Gosselin reportedly extorted money from Kate Gosselin numerous times by threatening to report her to child protective services for allegedly yanking on Mady’s arm. (I just assumed for exposing the kids to her tits in public. But what do I… More »

Kate Gosselin’s vagina is lonely

Kate Gosselin reportedly hasn’t been penetrated in almost 15 months and, even worse, it was by Jon Gosselin, according to Life & Style:

According to Stephanie Santoro — the family’s former nanny, who hooked up with Jon after his June 2009 split with Kate — Jon and Kate hadn’t gotten physical since the… More »

Jon Gosselin sues Kate for primary custody

Spurred by her participating in this season’s Dancing With the Stars, Jon Gosselin is going after Kate for primary custody of their eight kids, according to TMZ:

Jon’s new lawyer, former assistant U.S. Attorney Anthony F. List, tells TMZ he’s going to court to ask for primary physical custody. List calls Kate, “an… More »

Jon Gosselin’s tiny penis reduced to novelty act

Jon Gosselin having a small penis has become so universally known that it’s literally costing him money at this point. Via The Huffington Post:

If Playgirl ever asks Jon Gosselin, 32, to pose nude, he may be a little insulted by the offer. “We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl… More »

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