John Mayer


More John Mayer stories

Katy Perry & John Mayer Will Have Their Revenge On Taylor Swift

Katy Perry and John Mayer will get that pesky Taylor Swift if it’s the last thing they do. More »

Giada De Laurentiis Denies Banging Every Guy She’s Ever Been On TV With

Posted by Photo Boy

Star magazine would publish a cover photo of you in a coffin if they thought you’d buy it, so it’s not a stretch to think when they heard Giada De Laurentiis’ was getting divorced they went “Okay, let’s start with ‘she fucked everyone,’ then work our way backwards from… More »

Katy Perry’s Banging John Mayer Again

Posted by Photo Boy

Knowing exactly how to kick a year in its balls while it’s down, Katy Perry’s letting the Prince of Douche touch her huge boobs again, because everything is bad. IT’S ALL RUINED! *slaps Fish’s tray to floor, runs out of cafeteria* Via Daily Mail:
Apparently aware of keeping… More »

Katherine Heigl Used John Mayer’s Penis To Get Engaged

I stand by that headline entirely.

Posted by Photo Boy

John Mayer’s penis has done all sorts of reckless shit. It went crazy after being in Jessica Simpson and made him say the n-word. It refused to marry Taylor Swift after they did it under the bleachers. It even dumped KatyMore »

Taylor Swift Is Writing Songs About Katy Perry Now

Taylor Swift’s schtick used to be writing songs about jerk boys who didn’t make every single date like The Notebook. But she’s evolved as an artist (and a woman… nope, that wasn’t creepy) and has moved on to writing songs about other pop stars who steal her roadies or some stupid bullshit. I honestly don’t… More »

Katy Perry Really Knows How To Make Men Jealous

Following up her decision to bang Riff Raff, Katy Perry continued her “Fuck You (For More Than Likely Cheating On Me With Kelly Monaco), John Mayer” tour over the weekend by telling E! News she plans to become a green-haired collector of fine arts, and, no, this is not an April Fool’s Joke. Switching Photo… More »

Katy Perry’s Banging Riff Raff, Suck It, John Mayer

Continuing her trend of letting questionable men see her giant tits naked, Katy Perry is apparently dating Riff Raff now. And who the hell’s Riff Raff? The real life version of James Franco’s character in Spring Breakers, so you’d assume Katy Perry would keep something like this a secret except she’s bragging about it on… More »

Katy Perry Dumped John Mayer

“Yeah, we’re still not getting married.”

Over the past few weeks, there’s been rumor after rumor about Katy Perry getting engaged to John Mayer except now E! News is reporting she dumped his ass which I’m sure had nothing to do with a press campaign to box him into proposing. Guys… More »

John Mayer Tells Katy Perry How To Sing Now

Katy Perry and John Mayer did their first interview as a couple on GMA yesterday to promote their duet “Who You Love.” A move they should probably never do again unless they want people to know just how much John Mayer hates Katy Perry and is only having sex with her for her tits. Which… More »

John Mayer Wrote A Song About Taylor Swift

John Mayer threw a hissy fit when Taylor Swift wrote “Dear John’ about him because writing songs about your ex is bush league. Except at some point when he should’ve been spending every waking minute suffocating between Katy Perry’s breasts, he decided to get Taylor back by writing his own song about her, according to… More »

Katy Perry Takes Her Giant Breasts Hiking Because John Mayer Thinks She’s Fat

One of the rumors floating around about why Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up is that he thought she was getting fat which might explain why she spent all Easter weekend hiking. Except that’s bullshit because I can barely see Katy Perry in these photos. In fact, I’m almost positive this is a broomstick. More »

Katy Perry & John Mayer Broke Up. Again.

“My penis found out you’re friends with Rihanna. I’m so sorry.”

Despite, or possibly because of, all that marriage talk in Rolling Stone last month, Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up again, according to Us Weekly:

“It’s sad,” one pal tells Us, but cautions that it might not be a… More »

‘Thanks For The Giant Boobs, Katy Perry. Here’s The Shittiest Ring You’ve Ever Seen In Your Life.’

Here’s the ring John Mayer gave Katy Perry on Valentine’s Day that many have speculated is an engagement ring because he’s a douche and only a douche would propose with the Care Bears submarine. If you twist the top it probably plays “Your Body is A Wonderland” while Jennifer Love Hewitt cries alone in the… More »

Katy Perry Is The Only Two Things That Mattered At The Grammys. The Only Two Things.

If you follow The Superficial on Facebook and Twitter, then you have a ginormously long penis and already knew to skip the Grammys and wait patiently for pics of Katy Perry’s giant breasts because they’re the only thing worthwhile that happened. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to post stupid shit like Chris BrownMore »

Katy Perry’s Breasts Domesticated John Mayer

“Ha! Play pinochle with you again? This old rascal.”

In a new interview with Rolling Stone that I inexplicably read in its entirety, a more mellow, less douchey (for him anyway) John Mayer opens up about the past two years of his life not touring because of a granuloma in his throat which… More »

Katy Perry & John Mayer Are Banging Too Loud

In case it wasn’t bad enough that Katy Perry’s having sex with John Mayer, they’re now doing it so loud her neighbors are starting to get pissed. Via Hollywood Life:

Katy Perry apparently had trouble satisfying Russell Brand’s wild sexual urges, but John Mayer certainly isn’t complaining! Instead, it’s Katy’s West Hollywood neighbors… More »

Katy Perry’s Brother Says She Hasn’t Found ‘The One’ Yet, Explains These John Mayer Pics

HIM: Aw, yeah, it’s my birthday. Totally getting laid tonight.
HER: Goddammit, is that a bowtie? Uterus self-clean, ACTIVATE.

Despite looking incredibly thrilled to be celebrating John Mayer’s birth-douche-day last night, Katy Perry’s brother says she still hasn’t found “the one” yet because it’ll have to be someone who’s changing the world… More »

Katy Perry & John Mayer Got Back Together Already

“Not on my watch!” – Lex Luthor

When we last left Katy Perry and John Mayer, word was out that he dumped her over email which made total sense because John Mayer’s a douche. Turns out, Katy likes being used as an easily-discarded penis-punching bag because the two were spotted at a musicMore »

John Mayer Dumped Katy Perry Over Email

For reasons I’ll never fully understand, women get all emotional whenever you tell them you really aren’t as into them as you pretended to be to talk them into sex which makes it awkward to at least have the courtesy to break up with them in person. Then again, it’s not like there’s a law… More »

Katy Perry Was Falling In Love With John Mayer, So He Dumped Her

If you’re still on the edge of your seat wondering why Katy Perry and John Mayer stopped having drunk sex with each other, according to People, she started having feelings for him which he apparently didn’t think was a big enough opening to touch more of her breasts by stringing her along. Romance is dead:… More »

Page 1 of 7