Posts tagged "Joe Simpson"

Now Joe Simpson Is Wasted

It’s Papa Joe’s turn to make an ass out of himself. Let’s see how he does.

The Superficial | March 23, 2015 - 12:10 pm

Nick Lachey Doesn’t Miss ‘Playing Grab-Ass’ With Joe Simpson

Nick Lachey was on Watch What Happens Live last night where during a round of “Plead The Fifth” Andy Cohen asked him what’s the best thing about not having Joe Simpson as a father-in-law anymore? While his brother Drew had a more broad answer, Nick went right for the jugular or whatever that vein on…

The Superficial | May 8, 2013 - 1:09 pm

Jessica Simpson’s Mom Was Literally Going To Shoot Her Dad After He Came Out of The Closet

So Jessica Simpson’s mom Tina allegedly wrote a suicide note spelling out her intentions to shoot Joe Simpson then herself shortly after he came out of the closet and filed for divorce, according to RadarOnline:
Shortly before traveling to New York to confront Joe, 52, about his tryst with 21-year-old model Bryce Chandler Hill in…

The Superficial | April 9, 2013 - 11:12 am

Papa Joe & Eric Johnson in ‘The Bike Ride’

“Wouldcha feel better if I pretended to love Jessica’s big ol’ double D’s again?”
*pedals into traffic*
Photos: INFdaily

The Superficial | January 7, 2013 - 3:05 pm

See? Jessica & Ashlee Simpson Didn’t Choose Sides In Their Parent’s Divorce

As their parents battle through a nasty divorce that may or may not be because Papa Joe has been gay this whole time (It was.), rumors were circulating that Jessica and Ashlee were choosing sides and not speaking to each other. Except here’s the two of them promoting Jessica’s new clothing line together, so clearly…

The Superficial | November 12, 2012 - 1:10 pm

Joe Simpson Looks Like This Now

Last week, rumors surfaced that Jessica Simpson’s dad Papa Joe has been a closeted homosexual this whole time, except here he is looking straight as can be on Friday. Because if there’s one thing us red-blooded, heterosexual male can’t get enough of, it’s making ourselves look like Ellen DeGeneres. Which is actually true in my…

The Superficial | October 29, 2012 - 10:57 am

Jessica Simpson’s Dad Was Gay This Whole Time

What? This guy? Get outta here.
Years ago, I had a roommate who was a flamingly gay ballerina that I worked with at Applebee’s who used to spend 75% of his shift running around screaming “TITTIES!” while grabbing every chick in the restaurant’s breasts. A series of events I should’ve remembered each time I joked…

The Superficial | October 24, 2012 - 10:29 am

Jessica Simpson’s Dad Arrested For DUI

“That’s right, titty. Keep poking ol’ Joe in the side. He don’t mind…”
Jessica Simpson’s dad Papa Joe was apparently picked up for DUI over the weekend, according to TMZ, which probably explains why she’s been tweeting about her weight all week and dangling it in front of the media like a deep-fried carrot with…

The Superficial | August 10, 2012 - 9:36 am

Jessica Simpson Wants $500K To Confirm The Pregnancy You’re Looking Right At

The poster said Jessica would sign autographs until 2:30, but at 1:15 her mouth suddenly opened and stayed that way until she walked into a backroom. Later, we heard what could only be described as a family of elks getting beat with a chair followed by cries for barbecue sauce. It was my most favoritest

The Superficial | October 20, 2011 - 3:54 pm

Ashlee Simpson’s in a Bikini

Under the watchful, always watchful eyes of Papa Joe, the whole Simpson clan slipped down to Mexico for a little family vacay over the weekend where Ashlee brought her new boyfriend and pranced around in a bikini as Jessica hid under a poncho. Not so much out of shame, as much as she had pork…

The Superficial | September 26, 2011 - 9:54 am

Joe Simpson: ‘Jessica & Ashlee aren’t failures’

With Jessica Simpson being an unemployable heap of weight fluctuation and Ashlee getting fired from Melrose Place, Joe Simpson wants the world to know his daughters aren’t failures. Read: “Have you seen their breasts?” Us Weekly reports:
“It was never a loss,” her father says of the Melrose burn. “The world says whatever it says.

The Superficial | December 2, 2009 - 2:56 pm

Jessica Simpson’s dad ruined her relationship with Tony Romo. Again.

First it was reports that John Mayer was still texting Jessica Simpson, now it seems Papa Joe was annoying the shit out of Tony Romo again causing him to bolt, according to FOX News:
Another inside source said that Jessica’s manager/father Joe Simpson’s meddling ways most likely took its toll on the relationship, which is…

The Superficial | July 15, 2009 - 12:03 pm

Megan Fox’s ass is awesome and other news

- Artie Lange was busted for DUI this afternoon. Wow. It took that long to pick this guy up for driving under the influence? Was the officer feeling lazy today or something? “Hmm… One ticket short. What’s Artie Lange doing?” [PopEater]
- Angelina Jolie flew Shiloh and Zahara on her private plane making her the…

The Superficial | July 10, 2009 - 10:33 am

Jessica Simpson goes out to eat with daddy

- Jessica Simpson had a nice family evening with Papa Joe, Tony Romo and Ashlee. And by nice I mean her breasts only got touched twice by Joe, and the first time he honestly thought they were dinner rolls. No foolin’. [Lainey Gossip]
- Scarlett Johannson encourages women to eat just like her which I…

The Superficial | April 13, 2009 - 3:25 pm

Joe Simpson doesn’t control his daughters, loves people ‘to death’

Joe Simpson gets a lot of flack for his involvement in his daughter’s lives whether it’s for selling photo rights of his unborn grandchild or trying to manage Tony Romo’s $67 million football contract. But ole Papa Simpson set the record straight with Us Weekly:
On rumors he controls his daughters:
“The media says that…

The Superficial | June 10, 2008 - 1:14 pm

Joe Simpson trying to sell Jessica and Tony Romo’s engagement

It’s no secret Joe Simpson loves money almost as much as his daughter’s breasts. He’ll do whatever it takes to get his hands on it. He let Pete Wentz shotgun wed Ashlee, and now he’s pressuring Tony Romo into proposing to Jessica. Of course, if Tony’s not ready for that commitment, Joe’s a generous guy…

The Superficial | June 4, 2008 - 2:58 pm

Pete Wentz hearts his new father-in-law, Jessica Simpson reminded she’ll never reproduce

The whole Simpson crew partied at the grand opening of the Palm Place Hotel & Spa in Vegas where their new douche-in-law Pete Wentz DJ’d the event. Pete wanted to make sure everyone know that he’s fallen hard for Joe Simpson. Hard enough to play some Huey Lewis & The News which technically makes them…

The Superficial | June 2, 2008 - 1:39 am

Pete Wentz’s dad must cry himself to sleep

Pete Wentz (full name Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, I shit you not) had a bachelor party thrown for him last night with his dad (pink shirt) and future father-in-law Joe Simpson. No doubt, Pete’s father did backflips when he learned Pete was marrying a girl then immediately stormed down to the VFW and punched…

The Superficial | May 16, 2008 - 1:36 pm

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz to wed next week (I’ll bring the shotgun!)

First, sorry for two Ashlee Simpson ‘s post in a row. Totally unplanned. Please, don’t kill me. Anyway, Ashlee and Pete Wentz are reportedly walking down the aisle next week! Somebody apparently whipped out the shotgun and my money’s on Joe Simpson. And, no, not for his daughter’s honor. Ha ha. That’s rich. Seriously, you…

The Superficial | May 7, 2008 - 1:03 pm

Ashlee Simpson’s dad selling rights to baby pics

Joe Simpson, that old codger, is at it again. This time around he’s trying to broker deals with the tabloids to get daughter Ashlee on the cover when her baby is born. Pete Wentz denied the pregnancy rumors right after the news broke this week. But Joe’s wheeling and dealing seems to be the nail…

The Superficial | April 17, 2008 - 1:54 pm
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