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More jesus luz stories

Madonna cockblocked Lindsay

Madonna’s minions apparently put the kibosh on Lindsay Lohan when she tried to hang out with Jesus Luz during Paris Fashion Week, according to the Mirror:

Our source says: “Lindsay got her people to phone the club to try and hang out with him. She knew he was hosting a night there with… More »

Madonna slipping Jesus the tongue

Madonna and Jesus Luz were photographed making out in a Rio de Janeiro nightclub last night shooting down rumors the two have split. However, these photos do confirm rumors that Madonna is a walking corpse with the power to manipulate the living. Seriously, she looks like every 20-something I see at the bars if… More »

The Jesus Penis

For those of you screaming in the comments for me to show some cock, I give you the wang of Jesus Luz. This is a recently-leaked outtake from his infamous W photo shoot that I can’t understand why it didn’t run. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate a shriveled, young Brazilian penis and Broomhilda? You’re… More »

Madonna wants to get pregnant

Somehow I missed this one: Apparently Madonna wants to get knocked up by her Chippendale’s version of Go! Diego! Go!, according to The Sun:

The Queen of Pop – who already has four kids – has consulted doctors about conceiving another child at the age of 51, pals said.
Brazilian Jesus, who at… More »

Madonna gives Jesus an allowance

Jesus Luz’s relationship is apparently a gold mine. A dusty, scary, 5 million year old goldmine, but a goldmine nonetheless. InTouch reports:

According to a friend, Jesus, 23, put his modeling career on hold in order to accompany Madonna around the world — and that move is definitely paying off. “Jesus basically lived… More »

Catherine Zeta-Jones’ still got it and other news

- Scarlett Johannson is auctioning off a chance to be within gawking distance of her lady mountains. [PopEater]

- Jennifer Aniston singing for Ellen = the worst lesbian porn I’ve seen in my life. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen want to name their unborn son Gabriel. [Just Jared]

More »

Madonna vs. The Sun: The Battle Continues…

Here’s Madonna in Portofino, Italy celebrating her 51st birthday and, yes, she’s wearing a jersey with her own name on it. Because a woman who parades around on stage in fishnets can’t wear a bathing suit, she has to look like LeBron James after a terrible bleaching accident. As if that’s not bad enough,… More »

Katie Holmes smiling? What the…

- Katie Holmes allowed in public without Tom?! Somewhere he just uppercut a cockroach. After getting a stool and jumping really high that is. [Just Jared]

- Kathleen Turner or Britney Spears in 15 years? Not even they know. [Celebslam]

- Guy Ritchie is a big fan of the Jesus/Madonna relationship. Better his… More »

Madonna & Jesus: Together again for the very first time

Thanks to a fortuitous flight off the back of a horse, Madonna and Jesus Luz have rekindled their love affair. Her friends in the fashion world are even working overtime to keep him in the US, according to Page Six:

Marc Jacobs “wrote a letter of support for Jesus’ work permit” to allow him… More »

Madonna’s flings threaten her adoption plans

Madonna’s relationships with Jesus Luz and Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez have thrown a wrench into her plans to adopt three-year-old Mercy from Malawi. NY Daily News reports:

“The news she is linked to another woman’s husband and a young man less than half her age makes us question her morals.”
Officials are unhappy… More »

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