Posts tagged "Jessica Simpson"

Those Are Jessica Simpson’s Nipples

Jessica Simpson’s nipples made a rare public appearance because there’s still magic in this world. Great, big sloppy magic.

The Superficial | November 9, 2015 - 11:26 am

Jessica Simpson Was Christie Brinkley For Halloween? Why Not?

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson didn’t even hire Rick Baker? Heidi Klum will have them for breakfast.

The Superficial | November 2, 2015 - 12:31 pm

Why Does Everyone Say Jessica Simpson Is Drunk All The Time?

I’m just not seeing it.

The Superficial | September 23, 2015 - 12:53 pm

Jessica Simpson Wasn’t Drunk On HSN, That’s Just Her Personality

Was Jessica Simpson drunk on the Home Shopping Network, or is she just naturally incapable of talking like people? It’s a mystery.

The Superficial | September 21, 2015 - 12:38 pm

Those Are Jessica Simpson’s Breasts

Jessica Simpson’s breasts are still really, really awesome.

The Superficial | September 10, 2015 - 11:27 am

And Now A Sh*t-Faced Jessica Simpson Talking About Her Kids

“Her dad is her boyfriend!” – Actual quote, you’re going to want to get in here.

Photo Boy | March 19, 2015 - 2:30 pm

It’s Jessica Simpson’s Photoshopped Ass Cheek! Holy Shit!

The Internet is apparently fascinated with an airbrushed photo of Jessica Simpson in Daisy Dukes. You people need a hobby.

The Superficial | March 4, 2015 - 1:30 pm

Jessica Simpson Apparently Saw ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson star in #FIFTYSHADESOFJOHNSON. (Yup, you just read that.)…

The Superficial | February 16, 2015 - 12:12 pm

Jessica Simpson Has Legs? HOLY SHIT

Just to give you an idea of how rough it’s going to be over the next few days, Jessica Simpson’s legs are a top story right now. A human woman possessing two lower limbs. That’s the news right now. Not the fact that Jessica Simpson’s letting everyone know she’s Batman and will rain justice down…

The Superficial | December 22, 2014 - 10:43 am

Someone Invited Jessica Simpson To ‘The Hunger Games’ Premiere

The Hunger Games is about a dystopian future where the rich eat all of the food leaving the poor to starve unless they shoot each other in the dicks with bows and arrows. Those words also describe every Tuesday night at the Chili’s near Jessica Simpson’s house. Are you seeing the irony now?

The Superficial | November 18, 2014 - 1:10 pm

It’s Jessica Simpson’s Breasts And Other News

- Kate Mara doing a Rust Cohle impression? You got me. [Lainey Gossip]
- Frankie Grande’s face when he loses Big Brother is priceless. [Dlisted]
– The best responses to Ken Jennings’ asshole tweet about the handicapped. [The Mighty]
- These Dresses Couldn’t Be Any Tighter If They Tried [theCHIVE]
- Lindsay Lohan thinks she’ll…

The Superficial | September 26, 2014 - 8:09 am

Jessica Simpson’s Baby Is High As Shit

Everybody shut up about everything: Eric Johnson throwing Jessica Simpson’s baby 80 feet in the air is your new shiny object. Is it the cutest thing ever, or the launchpad for a thousand mommy blog posts on child tossing? The world’s your oyster here. As for me, I’m using it to link to photos of…

The Superficial | September 24, 2014 - 1:29 pm

Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Commercial Has Breasts

Jessica Simpson’s breasts breast Breastica Breast Breastson breast breasts signature fragrance breast video commercial breasts made breasts with breasts in them and the breasts were like breasts. Big ol’ titties.
Breast breast.

THE SUPERBREASTAL | AbreastFacebreastTitter

The Superficial | August 18, 2014 - 9:41 pm

That’s Jessica Johnson To You

Because weird Instagram photos that she actually thinks are sexy is Jessica Simpson’s new bag, here she is announcing to the word that she’s Jessica Johnson now. Which seems sad at first, until you realize there’s no possible way anyone could’ve explained what a mark is without her going, “Haha! That’s a boy’s name.” Then…

The Superficial | July 15, 2014 - 10:47 am

Jessica Simpson Got Married

Because I work in celebrity gossip, I’m obligated to inform you that Jessica Simpson married Eric Johnson this weekend who apparently couldn’t content himself with buckets of child support from two kids, and had to go for the alimony, too. Somewhere, Kevin Federline just saluted by holding a chicken wing to his forehead. That being…

The Superficial | July 6, 2014 - 11:25 pm

Good Morning, Jessica Simpson, And Other News

- Jennifer Lopez admits she used to pick out Ben Affleck’s outfits. [Lainey Gossip]
– One of the Duggar kids got married, so congratulations, America. Our population just doubled. [Dlisted]
- A Woman’s Back Is A Beautiful Thing [theCHIVE]
– Whoever’s doing this shit to Chrissy Teigen should be lynched. [Starpulse]
- Lady Gaga thinks…

The Superficial | June 23, 2014 - 9:00 am

Good Morning, Jessica Simpson’s Short Shorts, And Other News

- Ben Affleck is counting cards in Canada while filming Batman V Superman: Dawn of Holy Shit, This Title’s Way Too Long. [Lainey Gossip]
– Allow me, Anna Kendrick: I want to pee in your butt. (Nailed it.) [Dlisted]
- Building The Bikini Bridge [theCHIVE]
- Kaley Cuoco’s marriage seems in order. [Fishwrapper]
- Mila

The Superficial | June 12, 2014 - 9:00 am

There’s The Jessica Simpson I Remember

If it seems like I keep going back and forth between thinking Jessica Simpson looks fucking fantastic and terrifying, you’re already putting way too much mental energy into a post that’s 800% about her boob window. Case in point: All these words are just to make it look like I actually do something around here.

The Superficial | June 9, 2014 - 1:29 pm
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