Posts tagged "Jason Trawick"

Bertney’s Old Berfriend

Bertney’s Old Berfriend
A Scholastic Super Reader’s Choice

It had been a long time since Bertney had seen Mr. Jason. Papa had fired him a while back for not making sure she didn’t wander off the set of X-Factor to eat Furnch Fries. Bertney liked exploring.
“Ya had one simple job,”

By: The Superficial / January 21, 2014

Britney Spears Will Save Amanda Bynes

I feel good about this already.

Britney Spears doesn’t know what day of the week it is, but she is under a conservatorship for being crazy, so that’s enough to come up with a story about her trying to help Amanda Bynes which I’m going to repeat for the sole purpose of making…

By: The Superficial / May 28, 2013

BERTNEY’S RERDY FER RURV

Thanks to the Golden Globes, I didn’t get a chance to cover Britney Spears being tossed back into the dating pool after she quit X-Factor, exactly as predicted, so here she is on a coffee run yesterday where her sweatshirt let the world know she’s ready for love. And by love I mean someone willing…

By: The Superficial / January 15, 2013

Britney Spears Is Getting Dumped After Jason Trawick Gets His Cut of Her ‘X Factor’ Money

“ERPLEBEES!”

Provided you even consider their relationship a relationship and not a strictly business arrangement where he bought her from her parents which he did, Britney Spears is reportedly getting dumped by Jason Trawick but not until she finishes filming X Factor, a deal that landed him a cushy producer gig as well…

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2012

And Now Back To America’s Royalty: BERTNEY!

I’ve often wondered how they manage to coax Britney Spears onto a red carpet without fried chicken hanging in the background, and today I found out the answer: Jason Trawick arrives to each event with a puppy hidden in his jacket which means every single one of these faces is, “Be good and ah getta…

By: The Superficial / December 7, 2012

Here’s Every Single Crazy Face Bertney Made At The ‘X Factor’ Premiere

Fun Fact: Shortly after Britney Spears just walked right off set during her first episode of X Factor, Simon Cowell secretly suffered a nervous breakdown that forced him to disappear for three weeks. Now imagine being in those shoes and coming back to see each and every one of these faces you paid $15 millio…

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2012

Bertney Stopped Wearin’ Her ‘Gagement Ring!

A few weeks ago, Jason Trawick finally figured out Jamie Spears tricked him and getting engaged to Britney wasn’t going to be the cash cow he envisioned, although she does sometimes eat grass if left unattended. Anyway, cut to yesterday where Britney showed up to her conservatorship hearing without her engagement ring which she normally…

By: The Superficial / August 16, 2012

Britney Spears’ Fiance Just Now Realized He’s Her Babysitter

“Wait, did I grab the Thermos full of Ranch back at the hotel? Dammit.

When Jason Trawick quit his job at William Morris Endeavor, he assumed he’d be rolling in it as Britney Spears‘s manager even if that required playing along and pretending to marry a mentally handicapped person who’s legally not eve…

By: The Superficial / July 25, 2012

Bertney Can Do Whateva She Wants On TV, Y’all

“‘Em boys ain’t even cookin’ mah chick’n right. Jayden! Light the grill with mama’s cigarettes. Cig. A. Rettes. Her special smoke candy. There ya go.”

Last week we found out that despite receiving $15 million and more importantly an entire dressing room converted into a redneck smorgasbord, Britney Spears walked off during the…

By: The Superficial / May 29, 2012

Bertney’s X-Factor Rider Demands Chick’n, Soder Pop And That There Tater Salad She Likes 24/7

Despite being a ward of the state, Britney Spears is getting $15 million to judge X-Factor but that don’t mean a girl can’t ask for some chicken and potato salad delivered to her dressing room in the mornin’. So here’s her official X-Factor rider which surprisingly includes diet soda, so just assume her dad added…

By: The Superficial / May 24, 2012

Britney Spears’ Fiance Is Now Her Conservator Because That’s Not At All Messed Up

“I SEWED IT ALL BY MAHSELF!”

Back in January, Britney Spears‘s dad was rumored to be ending her conservatorship as a wedding gift which seemed like the best possible way to make this whole situation not look like he literally sold her to Jason Trawick. Except we’re talking about a family who ha…

By: The Superficial / April 9, 2012

Britney Spears’ Dad Is Ending Her Conservatorship As A ‘Wedding Gift’

“Daddy, it’s just what I always wanted! (What’s a consvadership?)”

Realizing that it looks like he essentially sold a retarded mule to stud, Jamie Spears has decided to end Britney Spears‘s conservatorship so her marriage to Jason Trawick looks like it was her own idea even though she’s proposed to no less tha…

By: The Superficial / January 23, 2012

Britney Spears Had An Engagement Party

“Whumf foo feen mfis mfis fa freal mfrifophone?”

Here’s Britney Spears and Jason Trawick simultaneously celebrating their ethically questionable engagement and his 40th birthday in Vegas over the weekend, and I love how Britney has exactly one of two faces she makes in each shot: “Ohmahgarsh, cake!” (here) and “THEY DIDN’T HAVE THAT…

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2011

Britney Spears Is Getting Engaged. For Real This Time. Maybe. (Confirmed)

“Y’all, this here’s a song about my gold bergina. A one, two, free!”

Britney Spears and Jason Trawick have been the source of engagement rumors since 2009 when her dad realized letting her agent have sex with her was probably a safer bet than banging members of the paparazzi in Mexico. At any…

By: The Superficial / December 16, 2011

Britney Spears Got Engaged. Maybe.

Posted by Photo Boy

To a casual observer, these photos may not look like much, but I notice three things immediately. 1. Shoes from the “Summertime Stripper” collection. 2. Booty shorts at a child’s sporting event. 3. Possible engagement ring. From this point, I just black out and the training takes over causing…

By: Photo Boy / May 3, 2011

There’s Another Britney Spears Tape

Despite explicit instructions to place their lips gently upon her Southern derriere, RadarOnline has just released another Britney Spears recording even though absolutely no one is buying these things, and audio experts are laughing themselves to sleep over the obvious manipulation used on them:

On the new tape, Britney’s ex husband Jason Alexander…

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2010

Britney & Jason Trawick: A Horrible Idea

After her people shot down the abuse allegations, someone thought it’d be a great idea to send Britney Spears over to Jason Trawick’s office in a show of solidarity. Which would make sense with any normal couple, but factor in Britney’s a mental patient, and you wind up with photos where she looks he told…

By: The Superficial / December 2, 2010

Britney’s Legal Team: ‘Audio is Fake’

“Y’all gettin’ sued, y’all!”

In what was only a matter of time, Britney Spears co-conservator Andrew Wallet has not only denied every aspect of the Jason Trawick abuse allegations, but is prepared to sue the dicks off of Star and RadarOnline, according to TMZ, who I’m sure took no joy in publishing this:…

By: The Superficial / December 1, 2010

Britney’s Boyfriend Allegedly Beats Her (Updated with Recording)

“You gon’ go buy me a sandwich wich year dancin’ money, woman. Now git.”

In one of the most ludicrous claims ever leveled at the Britney Spears’ camp so I’m not even going to pretend to take it seriously, Star is reporting Britney’s husband for two days, Jason Alexander, received an hysterical phone…

By: The Superficial / December 1, 2010

‘I’s Gonna Murry You in My Berkini.’

These are shots of Britney Spears and Jason Trawick scoping out the chapel at their hotel in Maui yesterday which seems to have set off the “Britney’s Getting Married” alarm across the entire gossip circuit. Now some of you might be wondering, “Is Britney really stupid enough to get married again?” Which is, of course,…

By: The Superficial / August 27, 2010
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