Posts tagged "Jail"

Lindsay Lohan Is Trying To Buy Her Way Out of Jail Now

Lindsay Lohan is trying to buy her way out of community service with Esurance's money, of course. Haha! She doesn't have $10,000.
By: The Superficial / February 17, 2015

Lindsay Lohan: ‘Shaking People’s Hands Is Community Service’

Lindsay Lohan is in deep shit after submitting progress reports that count meet and greets with fans as community service and include dates that put her in two places at once.
By: The Superficial / January 28, 2015

Everybody Cross Your Fingers, Chris Brown Might Go Back To Jail

Posted by Photo Boy Just two Chris Brown posts ago, I suggested he violated his probation by being present at not one, but two incidents where people got shot. Turns out I'm a legal genius, because at a progress hearing yesterday his probation officer recommended that Chris go back to jail…
By: Photo Boy / January 16, 2015

Teresa Giudice Is In Jail

In what is hopefully a continuing trend for every single reality star in 2015, Teresa Giudice reported to federal prison at 3 a.m. Monday morning where she'll serve her 15 month sentence for bankruptcy fraud, according to WNBC 4 New York. And for those of you who don't remember,…
By: The Superficial / January 5, 2015

Teresa Giudice Got The ‘OITNB’ Prison, Doesn’t Want To Now

Yesterday, we learned that Teresa Giudice's crisis manager fired her after Teresa went behind her back and filed a request to serve her time at Danbury Federal Prison in Connecticut which was the inspiration for Orange Is The New Black. And according to TMZ, she actually got…
By: The Superficial / October 23, 2014

Teresa Giudice Fired By Crisis Manager For Trying To Book Her Own Jail

To catch everybody up, Teresa Giudice was sentenced to 15 months in prison for fraud. Her husband got 41 months, and the tears of their children will be reality fuel, but that's not the most ridiculous part. The most ridiculous part is Teresa getting fired by her…
By: The Superficial / October 22, 2014


"Why do all these words say 'Punch Rihanna until the demons stop?' Seems strange for a legal document..." For those of you wondering what's taken me this long to cover this, you'll be surprised to learn that I didn't hire Photo Boy for his speed and efficiency in mopping up gallons of seme…
By: The Superficial / March 18, 2014

It’s The Justin Bieber Peeing Video

Jiggas and jiggerettes, the worldwide video premiere of "Drip 4 U Girl," a #BBare Bizzle Joint. Oh, girl, I just want to drip my dang-a-lang, girl, On to you like Lana Lang, girl, I just want to drip my dang-a-lang, girl, In to you like Lana Lang, girl Oh my big black dang-a-lang,…
By: The Superficial / March 6, 2014

Teresa Giudice Told Her Kids She’s Going To Jail While Filming ‘Real Housewives’

Reality television is a shithole inhabited by shitheads doing shitty things for shitty people to watch, so it really shouldn't come as a surprise that Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice decided to exploit the most traumatic moment in her children's live…
By: The Superficial / March 6, 2014

Y’All’s About To See Justin #Bbare’s DANGALANG

Parentally it's your berfdays because y'all's about to see my boy B-Bare whippin' his dick out and pissin' all over da police.. station toilet where my jigga did hard time for lightin' da streets a Miami on fire with yo mama's panties. Thirty Mile Zizzone: Law enforcement sources tell us ...
By: The Superficial / March 5, 2014

Teresa & Joe Giudice Are Going To Jail

When we last left Teresa Giudice and her half-pug-person husband Joe, they were beating the shit out of photographers while on their way to court to fight 39 counts of bank fraud and tax evasion. A fight that apparently didn't go very well because this morning they…
By: The Superficial / March 4, 2014

Justin Bieber Rolled Over On His Mom?!! #DAAAAAMNN #calljerry

As the inescapable, innumerable, predeterminable saga of Justin Bieber, The Mephistopheles of Murda-Town, unfolds WORLDWIDE, welcome to the icest, ice-cold chapter of Ice-Man's big balla brotha, motherfucking Freeze-Bone, because #disnigga here just rolled over on his moms. HIS OWN MOMS. Tupac and Biggie ain't even that cold. Crack it off, TMZ: Law enforcement…
By: The Superficial / January 24, 2014

Chris Brown’s In Rehab

One of the easiest ways for a celebrity to duck going to jail is to preemptively check into rehab and enjoy a 30 day vacation of spa treatments and Playstation. A hardship that Chris Brown has chosen to endure rather than throw himself at the mercy of a racist district attorney…
By: The Superficial / October 30, 2013

The Police Chief Who Signed Off On Chris Brown’s Community Service Just Resigned

Seen here wearing a hoodie with a naked Jesus about to get plowed by another dude on it because he's a man of GAWD-AH, Chris Brown's chances of proving he didn't fake his bare minimum community service for beating the shit out of Rihanna just ate a huge Jesus-dick.
By: The Superficial / February 12, 2013

Just Once Chris Brown Would Like It If Y’All Stop Persecuting Him Like Jesus

"So you want to have sex with me even though you know I'll kill you?" "Uh huh." "See? This is exactly what Jesus went through. Exactly." Yesterday, news broke that Chris Brown allegedly provided the court with fraudulent community service documents that his mom, may or may not, have helped him cooked up because…
By: The Superficial / February 6, 2013

Chris Brown (Allegedly) Faked His Community Service, Is A F*cking Idiot

Earlier in the day we found these awesome shots of Rihanna posing for Terry Richardson, and now comes word that Chris Brown is probably going to jail because he and his mom allegedly faked the living shit out of his community service for beating Rihanna, so we really couldn't have put these…
By: The Superficial / February 5, 2013

And Shawn Holley Just Saved Lindsay Lohan From Going To Jail. Goddammit.

Lindsay Lohan's still in London and her current lawyer Mark Heller can't represent her in California yet, so all Shawn Holley had to do this morning was show up in court and tell the judge Lindsay fired her which would've resulted in a bench warrant for her arrest. Instead, despite still being owed…
By: The Superficial / January 15, 2013

Lindsay Lohan Will Probably Get Free Starbucks Instead of Jail. Yup.

Lindsay Lohan hasn't even had her hearing today (Which she's not even showing up to.) to see if she'll face jail time for violating her probation and already she's most likely ducked jail and getting free Starbucks from the judge because apparently California celebrity law isn't ridiculous enough. TMZ reports: Commissioner…
By: The Superficial / December 12, 2012

Stephen Baldwin Blue Steel’d The Shit Out of His Mugshot

Because "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's" is one of those queer commie Bible verses that don't count, Stephen Baldwin was arrested yesterday after basically failing to file tax returns with the state of New York for the last four years, according to TMZ: According to the Rockland County District…
By: The Superficial / December 7, 2012

Lindsay Lohan’s Being Charged With Lying To The Police As If That Means Anything

And now for another exciting edition of Lindsay Lohan's Being Charged With A Crime, So Of Course TMZ's Going To Say She's Almost Definitely Certainly Going To Jail This Time, Maybe: We broke the story ... Lohan told cops she was NOT behind the wheel of her Porsche when it slammed into…
By: The Superficial / November 6, 2012
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