J.K. Rowling

Jim Jeffries Told Piers Morgan To ‘F*ck Off’ On TV? What Scandal!

Jim Jeffries and Piers Morgan kind of, maybe had an argument on Real Time, but let’s internet about it anyway. More »

Black Hermoine Granger Is Coming For Your Wives

Hermoine Granger is black now. Everybody freak out! More »

Lindsay Lohan Wants J.K. Rowling To Write A Book About Her Sex Life

At first glance, the headline would seem to suggest Lindsay Lohan wants to read a book about a beloved children’s author’s sex life, and honestly, who doesn’t want to know how many times J.K. Rowling achieved pure ecstasy of the flesh while creating Hogwarts? It’s practically all I think about it. Except this is Lindsay… More »

Newsicus Harry Pottercus! (I’ll Go Shoot Myself In The Face Now)

“Please, Lady Rowling, no more books to make movies out of. Please. The cages, they burn.”
“I’m trying, children, I’m trying. They have ways…”

In case you haven’t figured out by the quiet, nerdy girl in your office suddenly growing alive with passion and screaming, “Yeah. FUCK YEAH!” while sending her foot… More »