Posts tagged "Indiana Jones"

Spielberg Wants To Direct New Indiana Jones Movie With Chris Pratt

Steven Spielberg wants to direct the new Indiana Jones movie that’s probably, almost definitely starring Chris Pratt.

By: The Superficial / February 24, 2015

Chris Pratt Might Be Your New Indiana Jones Now

Chris Pratt already made Disney a shitload of money with Guardians of The Galaxy, “so fuck it, let’s put him in everything,” someone presumably said while wiping cocaine from his nose.

By: The Superficial / January 27, 2015

Robert Pattinson Isn’t The New Indiana Jones

Rupert Sanders‘ car belongs in a museum!”

Because England is a silly place, the British tabloids started a rumor that Robert Pattinson would be the new Indiana Jones which the Internet went fucking batshit over because everyone remembers when Powder played Young Indiana Jones. (I have my finger on the pulse of the…

By: The Superficial / June 5, 2014

Bradley Cooper Might Be The New Indiana Jones

Now that Disney owns the right to Indiana Jones, it’s time to milk the fuck out of this puppy except there are two small problems: 1. Harrison Ford could literally die at any second. And 2. Shia LaBeouf has evolved into a non-famous fart-sniffing entity of such pure pretentiousness that it gave James Franco a…

By: The Superficial / March 26, 2014

‘Indiana Jones 4′ on TV, in Commercial Form

Did you think you were going to get more than a day without some sort of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull media? Nice try, suckers. Here’s the new TV spot for what I’m hiply-dubbing IJ4:KotCS (you say the last part “cot-kiss”), chockfull of some fantastically redundant titles for anyone…

By: Superficial / April 29, 2008