Hugh Hefner


More Hugh Hefner stories

Kendra Wilkinson’s Dad Wants To Shake Hugh Hefner’s Hand?

Hugh Hefner Gave Girlfriends Quaaludes, Called Them ‘Thigh Openers’

According to Holly Madison’s new book, Hugh Hefner offered her Quaaludes the first time she met him and referred to them as “thigh openers.” Naturally, she moved in three weeks later. … More »

The Playboy Mansion Had Secret Tunnels To Celebrity Houses editors recently discovered old blueprints showing secret tunnels leading from the Playboy Mansion to Jack Nicholson, Warren Beatty, Kirk Douglas, and James Caan’s houses. Also, we’re pretty sure this is how Kendra got out. More »

Holly Madison Wanted To Kill Herself While Living In Playboy Mansion

Holly Madison reportedly contemplated suicide while living in the Playboy Mansion which is strange because old men’s penises always sounds like such a dream. More »

Hugh Hefner’s Finally Being Asked About Bill Cosby

Now that we’ve established who’s totally kissing who, you guys, watched Kendall Jenner get spanked by Santa, and learned how many women Leonardo DiCaprio fucked this weekend alone, let’s check in on Bill Cosby and the mountain of shit that’s flowed out of him since the last mountain of shit two days ago: … More »

Bill Cosby Stripped Of Honorary Navy Title As More Women Come Forward

Some of you haven’t enjoyed my coverage of the Eric Garner decision, or racism in general, so in this post I not only believe that a black man is guilty of a crime, but also (slightly) question the motives of his alleged rape victims. It’s practically Christmas for your tiny little white dicks. Let’s roll! More »

Hugh Hefner & Crystal Harris Are Engaged. Again.

“I knew you’d fly back to me, Amelia Earhart.”

The last time Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris got engaged, she ditched him five days before the wedding, hocked her ring then went on Howard Stern and told everyone Hugh’s a never-nude that ejaculates at the drop of a wooden nickel. So how you… More »

Hugh Hefner’s Son Beat Up A Playmate

Apparently Hugh Hefner rents his creations out to his kids along with a generous insurance policy so they don’t have to worry about returning them in perfect condition, because his son Marston just found himself arrested after beating the shit out of 2011 Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair, according to TMZ:

Sources… More »

Lindsay Lohan Playboy Issue Breaks Sales Records, Says Elderly Man On Twitter

If you asked Hugh Hefner what he ate for breakfast this morning, he’d call you a Nazi spy and threaten to phone his pal Charles Lindbergh to “teach you what for.” So with that information in mind, here he is on Twitter talking about the Lindsay Lohan Playboy issue like his “girlfriends” have sales tickers… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s ‘Leaked’ Playboy Photos Worked

Seen here wafting the set of her Playboy shoot with the rich aroma of ash-scented noonerhole, Lindsay Lohan’s spread that conveniently found itself “leaked” Friday morning has forced Hugh Hefner to release the issue early because clearly this was a frustrating turn of events that in no way was orchestrated from the start. TMZ reports:… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Shoot Is Marilyn Monroe Now, No Full Frontal

After making her return for a reshoot, Playboy has finally approved Lindsay Lohan’s latest batch of photos which will appear in the January/February issue on sale in Decemeber. Except, surprise, it’s no longer full frontal or possibly any form of naked at all, so just assume her pay got reduced to a sandwich or else… More »

Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Spread Might Not Be Good Enough For Hugh Hefner

But she’s so.. handsome.

Thanks to being virtually unemployable, Lindsay Lohan agreed to a full-frontal spread in Playboy which has already gone through a reshoot after Hugh Hefner wasn’t pleased with the first batch. And apparently this new batch might not even make the cut, according to RadarOnline:

The 25-year-old troubled… More »

Hugh Hefner Planking

Because this is not at all a cover story to disguise his death, Hugh Hefner’s latest girlfriend Anna Sophia Berglund managed to talk him into “planking” last night because sometimes it’s nice to know there’s still a refuge of youth and vigor in the penis you hop onto whenever your number’s called. Of course, afterward,… More »

Kendra is a Hypocrite

Last year, Kendra Wilkinson released her memoirs Sliding Into Home which detailed having sex with Hugh Hefner, but only after Holly Madison popped him full of Viagra and properly fluffed him for the rest of the girls. In fact, Kendra wrote these exact words via Celebitchy:

One of the girls asked me if… More »

Hugh Hefner is Great At Sex, According To People Paid To Say He’s Great At Sex

“I am an uncaged bowl of oatmeal! — With cinnamon!”

For those of you just tuning in, Hugh Hefner’s paid to runaway bride Crystal Harris went on Howard Stern and not only said she had sex with Hugh once, but that it lasted two seconds and he never took his clothes off. But… More »

Crystal Harris Had Sex With Hugh Hefner Once, It Lasted Two Seconds

Despite the fact it’s clear Crystal Harris was a prostitute hired to leave Hugh Hefner for a reality show special, she was a guest on Stern yesterday where she complained about sex with Hugh even though it sounds as tender and beautiful as it is with me. Via People:

Harris, 24, said Tuesday… More »

Hugh Hefner Has Two Girlfriends Now

“And no crust! Hurts my gums. Now someone turn up the phonograph, I’m feeble.”

Hugh Hefner can’t seem to get enough of us kids and our newfangled Twitter-ma-tron and spent yesterday sending emoticons to his second girlfriend Shera Bechard (above) because apparently powdering him has become a two bimbo job again. “You promised… More »

Hugh Hefner’s Gonna Make It

“This isn’t my oatmeal!”

Here’s Hugh Hefner hosting his sixth annual Kandyland bash with his new girlfriend Anna Sophia Berglund because I guarantee he’s just picking them like numbers at a deli counter now. “Whore-der #73! 73? You 73? I made a poop.” But while he spent the evening pretending he knows what… More »

Game of Bimbos: A Clash of Gold-Diggers

Crystal Harris was supposed to marry Hugh Hefner on Saturday, yet broke off the wedding earlier in the week to make a quick buck, so of course, she immediately used her new “celebrity” status as Hugh’s runaway bride to help Heidi Montag host a pool party on the day she cost her wedding guests thousands… More »

Crystal Harris: ‘Hugh Had Other Women.’
You Don’t Say?

Found one.

As part of her plan to cash in as hard as possible before people forget who she is come Monday, Crystal Harris is now saying she left Hugh Hefner because he has “other women” in his life. To hear her say it, it’s almost as if he crammed an entire mansion… More »

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