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Superman Dumps 19-Year-Old Girlfriend

Henry Cavill has to Superman dem ho’s. (I’ll let myself out.)

The Superficial | May 16, 2016 - 1:30 pm

Eh, It Could’ve Been Worse: A Review of ‘Batman V Superman’

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is a movie with Batman and Superman in it. How do you fuck that up? I’m glad you asked.

The Superficial | March 28, 2016 - 6:24 pm

‘Batman V Superman’ Swears This Is The Last Trailer

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice has a final trailer with a shitload of Batman in it in case you weren’t sure he’s in it. He is.

The Superficial | February 11, 2016 - 10:56 am

‘Batman V Superman’ Has Doomsday In It, He Looks Like A Poop Monster

The new Batman V Superman trailer is here, and it brought way too much Jesse Eisenberg. Just… goddammit.

The Superficial | December 3, 2015 - 8:33 am

Superman’s Banging A 19-Year-Old

Robin Thicke, Scott Disick, Henry Cavill. All of these things are just like the other.

The Superficial | October 21, 2015 - 11:57 am

‘Batman V Superman’ Is Still Just One Movie

Posted by Photo Boy

Henry Cavill recently shot down rumors that Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was getting split into two movies because that was all horseshit except for confirmation that Doomsday will be the final battle. I’ll pause here so you can clean the pee off your Joker sheets from that…

Photo Boy | January 13, 2015 - 11:00 am

And Superman Has Herpes Now. Goddammit.

Here’s Henry Cavill leaving Chateau Marmont last night looking drunk as hell which explains him getting into a car with Paris Hilton. Although in his defense, her vagina probably looks like Doomsday, so I bet he just thinks he’s on set. Which is how I’m trying to lie to myself that I wouldn’t do the…

The Superficial | January 9, 2015 - 1:15 pm

Comic-Con: ‘Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice’

Despite a release date that’s almost two years from now, DC Comics had to have something to show at Comic-Con or Marvel would walk right over them even more than they already are, so Zack Snyder showed up on Saturday and amazingly put up a fight by dropping an official photo of Wonder Woman’s costume

The Superficial | July 28, 2014 - 10:56 am

Zack Snyder Made Superman A Sith. Of Course.

For reasons known only to Zack Snyder, Henry Cavill, and Ben Affleck dressed like Princess Leia (not pictured), here’s Superman holding a lightsaber which Zack Snyder oddly tweeted last night along with the hashtag #SuperJedi because the man responsible for the DC Cinematic Universe doesn’t even know the difference between a Jedi and a Sith.

The Superficial | July 24, 2014 - 12:58 pm

Holy Crap, It’s Superman! In The Same Exact Costume As The Other Movie

Following Batfleck and the constant barrage of casting news because they’re shoving 800 superheroes in this thing (Blue Beetle, anyone?), it’s been way too easy to forget about Henry Cavill despite his character’s name being one of the 20 words in the title. So to fix all that, Warner Bros. released the first official image

The Superficial | July 3, 2014 - 10:16 am

What Amy Adams Did Was Classy As Balls No Matter How You Feel About The War(s)

On Friday, Amy Adams tried to quietly pull a super classy move by giving a soldier her first class seat on a flight from Detroit to Los Angeles. She discreetly arranged it with the flight crew and almost got away with it except ESPN2’s Jemele Hill happened to also be in first class and immediately…

The Superficial | June 30, 2014 - 10:36 am

Gal Gadot Is Officially Wonder Woman

One of the worst kept secrets about Batman Vs. Superman is that it would feature a cameo by Wonder Woman. A Wonder Woman who will not be played by Jaimie Alexander because apparently even her breasts are too big for whatever the hell they’re trying to do here. Variety reports:

Gal Gadot will

The Superficial | December 4, 2013 - 1:38 pm

That Dude From ‘Girls’ Might Be Nightwing

Adam Driver’s already had to pretend to bang a tattooed sack of potatoes on HBO which, in my book, is all the experience a man needs to play an older version of Batman’s boy sidekick. “In this scene, The Joker has you held hostage, so try to think about all those times Lena Dunham was…

The Superficial | November 11, 2013 - 1:47 pm

Gina Carano Banging Superman Again Is A Post With Celebrity Breasts In It

I’m going to be completely honest with you, it’s a fucking wasteland on the celebrity beat right now. Just wait until you see my next post [Update: Right here.] which is the hottest story on the Internet right now and will put things entirely in perspective. In the meantime, here’s a post about Gina Carano

The Superficial | October 10, 2013 - 12:30 pm

Kaley Cuoco’s Engaged Because F*ck You, Superman

For those of you don’t watch CBS sitcoms because you haven’t given up on life, Kaley Cuoco is probably best known for being the first chick Henry Cavill banged after Man of Steel hit theaters because he saw her on TV once and wondered what her vagina would be like. Which turned out to be…

The Superficial | September 27, 2013 - 11:19 am

Hey, Warner Bros, Here’s Your Lex Luthor

With the rumors of Bryan Cranston playing Lex Luthor in Batman Vs. Superman being shot down by reports that his first post-Breaking Bad role will be Trumbo, fanboys hoping for a Walter White Lex are obviously disappointed. So allow me to suggest an even better alternative: Damian Lewis, baby. BOOM. Don’t get me wrong, I…

The Superficial | September 23, 2013 - 10:03 am

Someone Made A Fake ‘Batman Vs. Superman’ Trailer With Bryan Cranston As Lex Luthor Already

I was going to write a post about Kate Gosselin suing Jon’s dick off for hacking the hell out of her computers so his friend could write a book about her, but neither one of them dies at the end so who gives a shit? Instead, here’s a fan-made Batman Vs. Superman trailer by YouTube…

The Superficial | August 27, 2013 - 1:39 pm

Ben Affleck Is Batman? The Ben Affleck?

So remember how shitty Daredevil was? Well, Warner Bros. didn’t because Ben Affleck is your new Batman now. No, seriously. THR reports:

“We knew we needed an extraordinary actor to take on one of DC Comics’ most enduringly popular superheroes, and Ben Affleck certainly fits that bill, and then some. His outstanding career…

The Superficial | August 22, 2013 - 10:28 pm

This Is The List For The New Batman Already

So forget Tyler Hoechlin. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Warner Bros. is going for a grizzled, older Batman to take on Henry Cavill’s Superman, and the list is already getting out of control. So here’s everyone already being considered plus some from Lainey Gossip, Batman On Film and my own hopes and dreams. Although, before…

The Superficial | August 5, 2013 - 12:23 pm

This Might Be Your Pretty New Batman

When Warner Bros. announced the Man of Steel sequel would feature Batman and be “inspired” by Frank Miller’s classic graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns everyone whose never touched a vagina just assumed this would entail an older, battle hardened Batman who would take Superman to task for totalling half of Metropolis just fighting one…

The Superficial | July 24, 2013 - 12:03 pm
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