Posts tagged "Heidi Montag"

Heidi Montag’s Dad Arrested For Sexual Abuse Of A Child, Incest

Heidi Montagā€˜s dad Bill Montag has reportedly been arrested for the sexual abuse of a child and incest. Yeah…

By: The Superficial / February 2, 2015

Heidi Montag: ‘Amanda Bynes Can Live With Me!’

After TMZ posted photos of Amanda Bynes sleeping inside a mall because she’s essentially homeless now, Heidi Montag has graciously shoved her breasts into the press again and offered Amanda a place to stay. But if Heidi somehow thinks that’s going to make the Internet start posting photos of her giant fake breasts again, she’…

By: The Superficial / November 7, 2014

Heidi Montag Didn’t Biodegrade Yet

It’s been almost a year since Heidi Montag‘s been on the site, so here she is at Crazy Horse for Spencer Pratt‘s 30th birthday because apparently these two are still a draw in Vegas. Which really says all you need to know about anyone who goes there doesn’t it? “Oh, look, honey, it’s those people…

By: The Superficial / September 3, 2013

Hugh Hefner & Crystal Harris Are Engaged. Again.

“I knew you’d fly back to me, Amelia Earhart.”

The last time Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris got engaged, she ditched him five days before the wedding, hocked her ring then went on Howard Stern and told everyone Hugh’s a never-nude that ejaculates at the drop of a wooden nickel. So how you…

By: The Superficial / December 3, 2012

Heidi Montag’s Doing Bikini Photos Again

Unlike Lady GaGa, former reality star turned most pointless stripper ever Heidi Montag was manufactured from the best polymers every single dime of her MTV money could buy, so she belongs in a bikini which is really her only purpose in life now until she’s eventually recycled into a snow shovel that I’ll purchase i…

By: The Superficial / November 8, 2012

Heidi Montag Showed Up For Her Strip Club Gig

Because her and Douchebeard blew all their Hills money on crystals and back scoops, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt live in his parents house now while he gets his degree in political science. (No, really.) So here she is hosting at Crazy Horse III in Vegas over the weekend because while we may not get…

By: The Superficial / October 22, 2012

Heidi Montag’s A Stripper Now (Basically)

Heidi Montag‘s getting and closer closer to me finally being able to purchase her for the price of a mid-size SUV (Anyone know if her extended warranty covers battery replacement or just routine breast inflation?) because apparently she’s making strip club appearances now for less than what it cost for her left tit. TMZ reports:…

By: The Superficial / October 4, 2012

Heidi Montag’s Still Alive

And this is why future sex robots should be biodegradable. How many times do I have say it?

The last time Heidi Montag was on the site it was September 2011, although some of us will always believe in our hearts that she never really left us. Anyway, here she is making a…

By: The Superficial / May 21, 2012

The Collection of Parts Known as Heidi Montag Got Drunk

Heidi Montag celebrated her [Insert number of years since her manufacture here.] birthday in Vegas over the weekend where she demonstrated the latest feature in top of the line sex-dollery: Life-Like Drunkeness (Now With More Sloppy Bedwetting). On that note, I love this photo of her and Spencer which really captures a day in the…

By: The Superficial / September 19, 2011

Game of Bimbos: A Clash of Gold-Diggers

Crystal Harris was supposed to marry Hugh Hefner on Saturday, yet broke off the wedding earlier in the week to make a quick buck, so of course, she immediately used her new “celebrity” status as Hugh’s runaway bride to help Heidi Montag host a pool party on the day she cost her wedding guests thousand…

By: The Superficial / June 20, 2011

Heidi Montag in a Bikini is Back

It’s been over nine months since the Play-Doh Factory creation known as “Heidi Montag” has posed for a set of bikini photos, so here she is hosting a pool party at Wet Republic over the weekend because she’s broke and ankle scoops don’t grow on trees. Sure, her friends say there’s nothing wrong with them,…

By: The Superficial / June 20, 2011

Heidi Montag: ‘I Made All That Sh*t Up’

Presumably after Sony called and threatened to repossess her new body, here’s Heidi Montag walking back her claim that Jennifer Aniston banned her from the premiere of Just Go With It. Via Us Magazine:

“I read that Jennifer had banned me from the premiere for being too polarizing, but I know now that…

By: The Superficial / February 11, 2011

Jennifer Aniston Banned Heidi Montag From Movie Premiere

Heidi Montag has her first motion picture cameo (That looks a lot like this.) in Adam Sandler’s new movie Just Go With It, but apparently she wasn’t allowed to attend Tuesday night’s premiere thanks to Jennifer Aniston who finally got to be the one to tit-block somebody, albeit just a soulless mannequin devoid of huma…

By: The Superficial / February 10, 2011

BEST OF 2010: Heidi’s Boobs Fell Out

8. Heidi Montag

Posted: 9.14.2010

Even though you’ve seen no less than 8,000 photos of Heidi Montag in a bikini, somehow these pics from September made it into the Top 10 for the year. Had I known seeing Heidi cup her huge over-sized breasts as they spill out of her clothing…

By: The Superficial / December 28, 2010

Heidi Montag’s Dead Doctor Was Hilarious

This story actually hit late Thanksgiving Eve, but was too good to get lost in the mix.

The following are emails sent to Heidi Montag (above — I think) from her late plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan, who, when he wasn’t pushing for her to get more “injectables,” was constantly trying to rope…

By: The Superficial / November 29, 2010

Heidi Montag: ‘My Dead Doctor Ruined Me’

“I can’t even swim with these things. *sobs*

Despite revering the late Dr. Frank Ryan as a man who “changed the world” by giving her stupid huge breasts after scooping out her back, Heidi Montag is now regretting her metamorphosis and blames her maker for saying it’d be like getting her nails done.

By: The Superficial / November 18, 2010

Heidi & Spencer Admit Faking Divorce, File Bankruptcy

Seen here with Heidi, who apparently changed outfits throughout the evening, Spencer Pratt admits to Life & Style that their divorce was faked to land a reality show that fell through, leaving the couple with no choice but to file for bankruptcy. *dabs eyes with tissues* I promised myself I wouldn’t do this…:…

By: The Superficial / November 4, 2010

Heidi Montag is Researching Stripping

Apparently Heidi Montag is still in the music business despite her album Superficial selling five copies, even with my name on it, because she plans on shooting a new video next week. That or she found a convenient excuse for all those job applications she filled out the other day. Via Twitter:

Going…

By: The Superficial / November 2, 2010

Friday in a Slutty Miley Cyrus Nutshell

While I attempted to (unsuccessfully) salvage my vacation, here’s a quick rundown of Friday’s gossip as told by sites who didn’t take the day off because they got rain on their toesies:

Miley Cyrus paraded around Hollywood in ridiculously small denim shorts (above) while frequenting over-21 nightclubs. You can practically smell the stroller…

By: The Superficial / October 4, 2010

Heidi & Spencer Are Broke

FACT: Gay men love breasts, too.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are reportedly living in his mother’s beach house after pissing all their money way only to find out absolutely no one wants to hire them anymore because they wasted their last fume of credibility pretending to end their fake marriage. RadarOnline reports:…

By: The Superficial / September 24, 2010
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