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Hayden Panettiere’s New Implants Tried To Be Christina Aguilera


Hayden Panettiere’s Cleavage Is A Triumph of The Human Spirit

Hayden Panettiere’s cleavage owned the Critics’ Choice Awards last night if not the entire nation. More »


A Child Has Shed Its Hayden Panettiere Cocoon

Fun Fact: This pic is from August. Four months ago August. She’s dead. She died.

In defiance of the laws of physics, Hayden Panettiere gave birth to a baby girl, Kaya Evdokia, last Tuesday, according to PEOPLE, who spoke very little about Hayden’s current state because housewives don’t want to read about a… More »


There Is.. Another.. Fappening

NOTE: This is not a leaked photo of Kim Kardashian. This is the shit she gives away for free.

The last time I covered The Fappening our servers broke for two weeks, so if it’s Monday morning and there’s nothing but a crater where the site once was, avenge me. Now that that… More »


Hayden Panettiere Brought Her Monster Fetus #Emmys

Here’s a pregnant as fuck Hayden Panettiere at the Emmys last night where it was a goddamn miracle her unborn daughter didn’t burst out of her chest and terrorize Sigourney Weaver. Which isn’t so much a joke about the giant’s fetus inside of her (a justifiable curse for stealing his magic beans) as much it’s… More »


How Is Hayden Panettiere’s Baby Not Kicking Through Her Stomach Already?

Because I’m still trying to work myself up to write about Gary Oldman, here’s an increasingly pregnant (IN THE BEWWWBBSS!1) Hayden Panettiere in Italy over the weekend which I was going to post yesterday but got distracted by such pressing topics as who’s grooming Miley Cyrus’ vagina and Wiener-Tuck: A Rich Man’s Game. So enjoy… More »


Hayden Panettiere Has A Giant’s Baby Inside Of Her

Her: “WHYYYYYY?! WHY DID I LET YOU DO THIS TO ME?! OH GOD, IT’S CRUSHING MY LIVER! IT’S SIX-WEEKS-OLD HANDS ARE CRUSHING MY LIVER! MIDGETS AND GIANTS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO PROCREATE! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY, GOD! YOU WERE RIGHT! YOU WERE RIGHT AND WE DEFIED YOUR LAWS! WE DEFIED THEM LIKE FOOLS! WHY CAN’T I… More »


Yellow Grimace & The 71st Annual Golden Globes

Because I wasn’t fucking around when I said we’re getting in and out of the Golden Globes, here’s the rest of the shit you might possibly, but not really, need to know. Starting with these red carpet photos, this Ronan Farrow tweet which is so awesome, he has to be Sinatra’s son:

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Are Hayden Panettiere’s Implants Supposed To Look Like That?

After a rough take-off, I grew to love Hayden Panettiere’s implants, but not to the point where I forgot she’s still a woman with other body parts for me to objectify. It was a beautiful symbiotic relationship if there ever was one. Except something’s going terribly wrong because now they’re trying to suck me into… More »


Is There A Reason Hayden Panettiere’s Having Sex With JWoww In The Ocean?

“Please, I just want to get drunk with my friends. Why are you doing this?!”
“I’m the Leprechaun! Heeheehohoho!”
NOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOTE: I respect that the real and “factual” story here is Hayden getting her misspelled tattoo removed, but I still think it’s important to focus on the leprechaun rape. We can’t… More »


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