Posts tagged "Halloween"

BEST OF 2014: Miley Cyrus Topless

Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense.

The Superficial / December 31, 2014

Rihanna Will Make You Want To Bang Raphael Now

The right wing media is waging a horseshit campaign to paint Lena Dunham as a child molester, but before we get to that, let’s look at Rihanna’s tits painted like a Ninja Turtle because I’m almost positive this is the story on everyone’s mind that will define us a generation. Or make me watch the…

The Superficial / November 3, 2014

It’s Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costume

Every Halloween Heidi Klum wears an overly elaborate costume as she’s done each year (except for last when she merely revealed her true form) since Hitler summoned her from the demonic realm to vanquish his enemies and festoon the Fatherland with topless tittery. So here she is transformed into a beautiful butterfly which I’m pretty…

The Superficial / November 3, 2014

Kelly Brook’s Breasts Are The Devil And Other News

- Benedict Cumberbatch describes how Sherlock would fuck. Bring a change of underwear. [Lainey Gossip]
- Olivier Martinez’s punches ruined Gabriel Aubry’s modeling career. — I believe it. [Dlisted]
- Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie [theCHIVE]
– For the love of God, Tara Reid, please stop taking selfies of your crotch. [Fishwrapper]

The Superficial / November 3, 2014

At Least Jenny McCarthy’s Breasts Aren’t Horribly Damaging Kids- Wait

Usually this is the part where I post T&A pics to rinse everybody’s brains from the child-destroying garbage that came before it. It’s a small service I provide for the community, but I don’t like to brag about it. Except I kind of fucked up and forgot to leave out the part where kids get

The Superficial / October 30, 2014

Rich People In Halloween Costumes: Starring Maria Menounos’ Butt

And welcome back to the time of year when celebrities get trashed in Halloween costumes every single night for an entire week because they’re just like us minus the whole waking up in the morning to stave off poverty. So here’s the first batch featuring Maria Menounos’ butt, Cindy Crawford, Elisabetta Canalis, and Mindy Robinson

The Superficial / October 27, 2014

Jenny McCarthy’s Acting Like She Quit ‘The View’

Earlier in the week, I posted that Jenny McCarthy was getting fired from The View because, well, she’s Jenny McCarthy. And that’s exactly what happened yesterday because apparently everyone but Whoopi Goldberg was let go. Except if you follow Jenny on Twitter, she’d have you believe she quit out of solidarity with Sherri Shepherd who&#8217…

The Superficial / June 27, 2014

Heidi Klum & Seal Might Get Back Together

“Oh, how I’ve missed your space boob…”
“Mind-bone me, Norrin Seal!”
According to In Touch Weekly, Heidi Klum and Seal might be getting back together after spending two years banging other people. So I’m just going to assume that was a simple matter of her agreeing to stay out of his camera room, and him…

The Superficial / June 19, 2014

Miley Cyrus Hooked Up With.. Benji Madden?

They say when one love dies, Kris Jenner’s wings grow three times in size another wells up to replace it. Which brings us to the strange hooking up of Miley Cyrus and Benji Madden, a man who I just assumed had died years ago from all that sex he had with Paris Hilton. The same…

The Superficial / November 4, 2013

Courtney Stodden Is Single: An Opus

When 51-year-old Doug Hutchison married 16-year-old Courtney Stodden turning them into inexplicable Internet stars, it was without question the crown jewel of American exceptionalism. Legend has it George Washington himself rose from the grave and announced this to be the very reason he joined forces with Jesus to win the Revolutionary War with nothing but…

The Superficial / November 4, 2013

Lindsay Lohan’s Banging Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan and Floyd Mayweather Jr. hosting a Halloween party at Foxwoods Resort Casino last night where either he’s getting his money’s worth or they’re dating now. And if you’re thinking to yourself, “Wait a minute, doesn’t Floyd Mayweather Jr. have a well-documented history of domestic violence,” yes. Yes, he does. So on that…

The Superficial / November 1, 2013

Heidi Klum Still Owns Halloween

Every year for Halloween, Heidi Klum holds Rick Baker hostage until he transforms her into a reality-bending creation that unleashes the full power of Samhain in hopes of one day resurrecting Herr Fuhrer. So here’s Heidi making Guy Pearce in Prometheus look like fucking clown shoes, and then God willing, going home and asking her…

The Superficial / November 1, 2013

Much Better, Kelly Ripa

Yesterday, Kelly Ripa wore a Miley Cyrus costume even though Paris Hilton and Crystal Hefner did the same thing over the weekend leaving Kelly with plenty of time to rethink every decision she’s ever made in her life. So here she is showing a little more originality by dressing up as Gemma from Sons of

The Superficial / November 1, 2013

Carmen Electra Wore This

I shortchanged Carmen Electra while she was in a Baywatch swimsuit with Matt Lauer yesterday, so here she is at Adam Lambert’s Halloween party last night because we’re literally just going to throw celebrities in costumes at you before bolting for the weekend. Which, fun fact, was actually Edward R. Murrow’s preferred method of reporting…

The Superficial / November 1, 2013

Joanna Krupa Never Disappoints And Other News

- Aaron Taylor-Johnson is officially Quicksilver in The Avengers. [Lainey Gossip]
– Congratulations, Kardashians, this is your death knell. [Dlisted]
- Irene Nell has ample everything. [theCHIVE]
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are having dour, emotionless sex again. [Fishwrapper]
- Oprah has shown pity on Jon Gosselin. [tooFab]
- John Stewart tells cable new…

The Superficial / November 1, 2013

Miley Cyrus Was Lil’ Kim For Halloween

Back in 1999, Lil’ Kim showed up to the VMAs with a pastie-covered breast hanging out of her outfit which Diana Ross fondled forcing our nation, for one night, to agree black people are hilarious. It was an innocent time. Or so it seemed, except somewhere in Nashville, Tennessee, a six-year-old girl sat watching after…

The Superficial / October 31, 2013

Jessica Lowndes Is Winning Halloween

Jessica Lowndes is the poor man’s Megan Fox, yet she didn’t let that adversity stop her from dressing up as Poison Ivy with really awesome breasts. Granted, someone will eventually come along looking way hotter in a Halloween costume, and we’ll all completely forget about this post, but the important thing is that right now…

The Superficial / October 28, 2013

Julianne Hough Wore Blackface

Julianne Hough thought it’d be a great idea to dress up as Crazy Eyes from Orange Is The New Black which probably should’ve stopped being a great idea the minute she had to use blackface. In her defense, she was raised by Mormons, so I honestly believe she had no idea black people have feeling…

The Superficial / October 28, 2013

Paris Hilton Was Miley Cyrus For Halloween

The most desperately irrelevant celebrity dressing up as the most sadly relevant one is basically the Hollywood version of a snake eating its own tail which seems like the kind of thing Satan would enjoy on his birthday, so I’ll allow it. Unless Paris Hilton starts doing Vagina Melvins which he would not enjoy and…

The Superficial / October 28, 2013

O.J.’s Trying To Bang Kris Jenner From Jail

Because The Whoring runs deep through the bloodline, Kris Jenner’s sister Karen Houghton has given a tell-all interview with In Touch where she claims O.J. Simpson is writing Kris letters from prison because she’s constantly trying to bang Scott Disick or Lamar Odom or anyone who’s not Bruce Jenner because they’re secretly separated. (Now would…

The Superficial / October 2, 2013
Page 1 of 3