More haiti stories

Lindsay Lohan’s breasts help Haiti. Somehow.

PLANNER #1: What if we invited someone whose overall career and appearance resembles the current condition of Haiti thus reminding people of its plight?
PLANNER #2: Gary Coleman? No, wait. — Lindsay.
PLANNER #1: I’ll ready the coke buffet.

Photos: Splash NewsMore »

Coco wants to do Haiti and other news

- Jessica Biel proving why Jessica Biel should never speak. [Lainey Gossip]

- Alexander McQueen: Another Lady GaGa casualty? [PopEater]

- Bill Clinton is smacking nurses’ asses right now. [TheFABlife]

- Jenna Jameson should probably stop accepting invites. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Tiger Woods’ penis is a resume builder. More »

Jessica Simpson makes John Travolta look like a silly bitch

While John Travolta attempts to proselytize Haiti to Xenu, Jessica Simpson is actually doing something useful by sending shoes to a country that’s covered in broken earthquake shit. Us Magazine reports:

The singer, 29, has announced plans to team up with Nashville-based shoe charity Soles4Souls to collect at least 50,000 pairs of shoes… More »

John Travolta to cure Haiti with his Xenu Rays

John Travolta is sending a plane full of medical supplies and “volunteer ministers” from the Church of Scientology to help with relief efforts in Haiti. While the medical supplies are helpful, Gawker takes a look at some of the procedures these “ministers” will perform on earthquake victims:

“Locational Assists”: After traumas, people… More »

UPDATE: Hope For Haiti Now

Typically the top post of the day is reserved for the hottest pics, but today I’m donating it to George Clooney’s Hope For Haiti Now because he’s my hero. And not just because he Tiger Woods’d his way through cocktail waitresses way before Tiger even considered the possibility golf would get him laid. More »

Kanye West not banned from Haiti telethon

MTV has cleared up reports that Kanye West was banned from George Clooney’s Hope for Haiti Telethon tonight. Apparently they reached out to Kanye who never called them back. So for everyone keeping score at home, Kanye West wasn’t banned from the telethon because he’s an asshole. He’s just a dick. Glad that’s cleared… More »

Snooki helps a car dealership exploit Haiti

Because she’ll appear anywhere for money and/or a Solo cup full of rohypnol-laced gin, Jersey Shore’s Snooki is helping an Easton, Pa. car dealership supposedly raise money for Haiti on Saturday in probably the shadiest fundraiser I’ve ever seen. Via PRLog:

‘Snooki’ will be signing autographs and taking pictures with fans during this… More »

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