George Clooney


More George Clooney stories

Who Gave George Clooney A Boner? A Serious Investigation

George Clooney has an erection. Let’s get to it, super sleuths! More »

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Put The Bill Cosby Jokes In The Pudding Pops

As promised, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made with the Bill Cosby jokes at last night’s Golden Globes awards by awkwardly, yet awesomely, ending their monologue with impressions of him drugging women. (8:40 mark if you’re strapped for time.) Although apparently George Clooney laughed, and at jokes about himself, because he’s married now so he’ll… More »

George Clooney: ‘Hollywood Pussied Out’

A week before almost every major theater chain in America backed out of showing The Interview because hackers said the words “9/11″ causing Sony Pictures to pull the movie theatrically and VOD so it could file an insurance claim, and protect itself from liability on the extremely off-chance that something actually did happen, George ClooneyMore »

We Live In A World Where George Clooney Is Married

“Alzheimer’s. Had it for months now. So who’s the poor shmuck getting married?”

If someone walked up to me and said, “Hey, did you hear George Clooney got married?” I’d punch that person square in the mouth for telling a lie so ridiculous I’d have legal grounds to sue for custody of his… More »

George Clooney Got Engaged

“Mr. Clooney, you’re aware that marriage means no new vagina, correct?
“I’m sorry, you said what now?”

Posted by Photo Boy

I guess today is going to just be crazy old white guys be crazy day with the news that George Clooney got engaged to Amal Alamuddin. Here’s as close… More »

Gwyneth Paltrow Will Destroy Vanity Fair Now

While Jaimie Alexander was busy owning her ass at the Thor: The Dark World premiere last night, Gwyneth Paltrow has been preparing an all-out assault on Vanity Fair for daring to investigate her alleged affair with Jeff Soffer in 2008. It’s a battle that will test her mettle and prove if Madonna was right to… More »

Jack Nicholson Reportedly Retired From Acting

“Yay, more pussy for me.”
“Not on your life…”

Jack Nicholson has openly admitted to doing mountains of cocaine over the years, so I’m willing to accept the possibility that he suffers from memory loss to the point that it’s affected his acting, and that his new mission in life is to… More »

Ben Affleck Only Made ‘Daredevil’ Because He Assumed Schumacher Killed The Batman Movies

Ben Affleck being cast as the new Batman is probably the greatest thing that could’ve happened to Kevin Smith because now he has a legitimate excuse to tell eight million more stories (all two hours in length) about the movies he’s made with Ben before trying to murder him with Jersey Girl. So here he… More »

George Clooney Tried To Trade Stacy Keibler In For Eva Longoria

“So then I take the money, put it in argyle socks and hide them all over the house. Now, here’s the fun part: If you fuck me, I give you a map.”
“Ohmygod, I would love that.”

Apparently there’s more to George Clooney and Stacy Keibler breaking up than her just wanting… More »

George Clooney Broke Up With Stacy Keibler By Kicking Her Out of His House Over The Phone

Because Batman will always be a harder ass than Superman, here’s Page Six reporting that Stacy Keibler and George Clooney’s break-up was actually a result of him calling her up and telling her to make room for him to have sex with other women by packing her shit and leaving:

George Clooney asked… More »

Stacy Keibler Left George Clooney For Real This Time. Maybe.

“You sure you don’t want? I’m done fucking her.”

It seems like every few months there’s a report that George Clooney and Stacy Keibler’s relationship reached that crucial point where it’s stay together or have sex with tons and tons of other women, but this time seems to be official (Or not, already.)… More »

How Much Douche Is In Jonah Hill’s Canoe Today?

A few weeks back, Jonah Hill gave a pissy interview to Rolling Stone where he got shitty with the writer and wouldn’t shut up about how he’s a serious actor now and no one else has ever transitioned from comedy to drama in the history of acting before so fucking recognize. This earned him exactly… More »

So George Clooney Didn’t Dump Stacy Keibler

Earlier in the week, word got out that George Clooney supposedly noticed the expiration date he stamped on Stacy Keibler a year ago and tossed her to the curb. Except here they are together at the premiere of Argo last night, so either she has a longer shelf life than Italian cokeheads who end up… More »

George Clooney Is Done With Stacy Keibler Now

“Let me see your hand for a second. I’m thinking about the chick I’m going to replace you with.”

George Clooney spent a year sticking his penis in and out of Stacy Keibler which is practically a lifetime to him, so news that he’s already done with her really shouldn’t be a surprise… More »

George Clooney Got Arrested

George Clooney was arrested in Washington, DC today for protesting outside the Sudanese embassy, except none of that’s even scandalous at all because he wanted to get arrested to bring exposure to his cause and was smiling the whole time. But what is important is that I’ve discovered George Clooney testifying to a senate hearing… More »

George Clooney: ‘I Don’t Give A Sh*t If People Think I’m Gay’

“Hey, Internet. Blow me. — Too Mel Gibson? You’re right.”

Even more than his acting at this point, George Clooney is known for having sex with a woman until she says, or even thinks, he’s that good, the “M” word, then non-ceremoniously dumps them into the arms of Steve-O who we all should… More »

The 84th Annual Academy Awards

“Yes, I know it’s aimed at my penis. That’s why I made her wear it there.”

Here’s the rest of the Oscars red carpet photos plus Brooklyn Decker who wasn’t technically at the Oscars but her breasts are huge, so close enough. Think of this post as honoring the splendor of the Academy… More »

Here’s Steve-O & Elisabetta Canalis Sucking Face

When George Clooney dumped Elisabetta Canalis, it was pretty much assumed it’s because she brought up marriage and commitment gives George Clooney cancer. Turns out she’s a gaping famewhore which explains why you’re looking at Elisabetta making out with Steve-O because apparently this thing is actually happening. Even more amazing, the Kardashians now look less… More »

GOLDEN GLOBES: Salma Hayek’s Breasts And These Other People

Ready for more red carpet photos from the Golden Globes? Too bad, we’re Roethlisbergering them in your eyes. Here’s Salma Hayek and a bunch of random people who didn’t get their own galleries, George Clooney and Stacy Keibler, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and a random warlock who mysteriously appeared to accept an award it… More »

George Clooney Lost His Virginity To A Rope

Her: “We’re going to be together forever…”
Him: “Shit, I forgot to write her name on hand. Be cool…”

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, George Clooney – And there goes the red states… – opens up about his awkward early adventures in the world of sex and how it molded… More »

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