Fifty Shades of Grey

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Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s Mom Just Quit ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Sam Taylor-Johnson has officially quit the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ franchise because I don’t want to even spend 90 minutes watching the movie, so imagine years trying to make two more of them. I mean, Jesus. More »


Jessica Simpson Apparently Saw ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson star in #FIFTYSHADESOFJOHNSON. (Yup, you just read that.) More »


Dakota Johnson Stepped It Up And Other News

Amy Pascal talks Angelina Jolie and the Sony hack, LeAnn Rimes is desperate for attention, Elizabeth Warren dick punches Rand Paul, Diplo is a douche, and Keri Russel’s butt is naked. Your morning links. More »


‘I’ve Made A Huge Mistake’ – These Two

Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are raw sexuality if raw sexuality bores you to tears and makes you wonder if two people are secretly Amish. More »


‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Has A Trailer

Here’s the first official trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey which is interesting only in the sense that Hollywood has officially lowered itself to making a movie that’s based on a book that was originally Twilight fan-fiction until the character’s names were changed and Mormon abstinence was replaced with high-business pubes-pulling per Joseph Smith’s original… More »


Jamie Dornan Will Pull Dakota Johnson’s Pubes For Your Mom Now

So remember when I said Aaron Taylor-Johnson is the new Christian Grey? Just kidding, it’s whoever the fuck Jamie Dornan is. More importantly, Deadline reports it was almost Alexander Skarsgard who I’ll just assume got tired of starring in shitty porn that tries to pretend it’s not porn, but everybody knows it’s porn. Plus this… More »


Bertney And The Baby Goose

Bertney And The Baby Goose
by Shel Silverstein

Bertney liked being on radio shows. They always had her favorite candy while she waited. But Bertney didn’t like when her publicist made her remember answers while she was trying to eat her candy.
“These words don’t fit in my brain,” Bertney would
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