Posts tagged "Farrah Abraham"

So Celebrity Big Brother Is Just Porn Now?

Celebrity Big Brother just got a whole lot sexier. And by “sexier” I mean AIDS. It just got AIDS.

Photo Boy / August 28, 2015

Farrah Abraham Gave Her Daughter $600 From The Tooth Fairy

Farrah Abraham gave her kid $600 from The Tooth Fairy. *cracks knuckles* Let’s do this.

Photo Boy / July 14, 2015

Farrah Abraham Wants To Be A Plastic Surgeon, Porn Star Farrah Abraham

Farrah Abraham wants to be a plastic surgeon because apparently scripted anal sex with James Deen qualifies you for that. Who knew?

The Superficial / April 14, 2015

Everybody F*cking Hates Farrah

‘Teen Mom OG’ is apparently all about how much everyone hates Farrah Abraham. You watch ‘Real Housewives,’ so don’t pretend you’re above this.

The Superficial / February 26, 2015

Farrah Abraham Is The ‘New Economy,’ You Guys

Farrah Abraham’s parents are a real piece of work.

The Superficial / February 12, 2015

Farrah Abraham Is More Kardashian Than Porn Star Now, Plastic And Evil

Here are Farrah Abraham’s new lip injections that she tweeted from the ER for attention. Although, in her defense, at least it’s not anal porn for once. She uses it way too much as a crutch.
“Ma’am, this coupon is expired.”
“Oh, is it?” *shoves entire shopping cart up anus*

The Superficial / January 6, 2015

BEST OF 2014: Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz Tour

Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense.

The Superficial / December 26, 2014

This Is Who Buys A Mold of Farrah Abraham’s Vagina (And Has It Signed)

Dammit, Chris Pratt
Here’s Farrah Abraham selling signed copies of her sex toys at a Hustler Store where she was also dressed as some sort of swan princess because her life is like a beautiful fairy tale, you guys. A beautiful fairy tale full of untold riches and giant vulva rubber molds for anyone to…

The Superficial / October 27, 2014

Farrah Abraham’s ‘Research’ Magically Turned Into A $544,000 Stripping Job

Last week, we learned that Farrah Abraham took a cocktail waitress job at a strip club where she ended up stripping herself but, like, totally for research, you guys. Except apparently that research involves signing a half-a-million contract to keep stripping which I’m pretty sure is how Jennifer Aniston does it. She dips her permanently

The Superficial / August 20, 2014

Farrah Abraham Is (Even More Of) A Stripper Now

Despite being a noted Christian author and purveyor of fine vulvic goods, somehow Farrah Abraham recently took a waitressing job at an Austin strip club where she mysteriously started taking her clothes off for money. It was the strangest thing and not like her at all. E! News reports:

“She was hired a…

The Superficial / August 14, 2014

Someone Tell Farrah Abraham That Jessica Alba Doesn’t Look A Thing Like Her

I talk a lot of shit about Jessica Alba, but that’s only because she won’t get naked, so it’s actually kind of cute when you think about it. Seductive, even. But at the end of the day, she is a Hollywood actress who gets cast in (quasi-)non-pornographic movies that actually get made and are show…

The Superficial / July 22, 2014

Christian Author Farrah Abraham Wants You To Buy Her Pocket Pussy

You probably know Farrah Abraham from her upcoming book on Christian parenting, so you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that like most Christ-loving authors, she also has a line of erotic sex toys which she launched over the weekend by licking them right in the rubber vulva. A move she learned from none other tha…

The Superficial / July 14, 2014

Farrah Abraham Doesn’t Even Know What The Book She ‘Wrote’ Is About

If you’ve been following the illustrious, blowin’ all the haters away career of Farrah Abraham, then you know she’s joined the elite ranks of morons with a ghostwriter even though everyone knows they can’t read or write. Which can be lucrative provided you’re never asked even the most basic questions about the book you supposedly

The Superficial / June 9, 2014

MTV Drops Farrah Abraham From ‘Teen Mom’ For Being A ‘Bad Example’

Snooki is a drunken little shit-midget pickle-vacuum who’s not even potty-trained. Amber Portwood is a suicidal drug addict who’s been in and out jail for beating the shit out of her baby’s daddy presumably because he has a goddamn tail. And Jenelle Evans is so out of control she almost got Teen Mom cancelled, yet…

The Superficial / May 7, 2014

Farrah Abraham Writes Erotica Now

Like any Christian author paying his or her dues, Farrah Abraham has to get a trilogy of erotic romance novels out of her system before she can set herself to the task of instructing you, the Godless heathens, on how to raise your children in a manner befitting the Kingdom of Heaven. Which brings u…

The Superficial / April 2, 2014

Farrah Abraham Made A Song Called ‘BLOWIN’

Farrah Abraham’s first two singles were autotuned abortions that borderlined on child abuse, so why should her new one be any different? Here’s the video for “BLOWIN” as in “blowin’ all the bullies away” and not “blowin James Deen in the dick while filming back-to-back pornos for money.” Because, you see, in Farrah’s magical music…

The Superficial / March 18, 2014

Farrah Abraham Wants To Be A ‘Virgin Forever.’ Butt-Squirt Farrah.

After knee-capping real rape survivors to promote the sequel to her sex tape, jack-butt of all trades Farrah Abraham has apparently switched back to Christian parenting mode because she’s totally done with having sex, you guys, and is saving her body for Christ. You read that. Via Life & Style:
Farrah Abraham bared all last…

The Superficial / February 13, 2014

Farrah Abraham’s Sex Tape Sequel Has Stills Already

Well, that was fast. Here are stills from Farrah 2 Backdoor And More the sequel to Farrah Abraham’s sex tape that’s already available for sale tomorrow night which Steve Hirsch swears is a “completely different movie” albeit one that apparently stars James Deen again. Because most amateur sex tapes filmed between two ordinary people involve…

The Superficial / February 11, 2014

Farrah Abraham Didn’t Approve A New Sex Tape If You Don’t Count The Part When She Did

Now that she’s used rape as a cheap marketing tool, Farrah Abraham has moved on to part two of her sex tape sequel release plan: Act like she doesn’t want it released even though everyone knows exactly how these things work, you butt-squirting snozz-hole of fuck. TMZ reports:
Abraham is upset over Vivid releasing a…

The Superficial / February 10, 2014
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