Eric Johnson

Photos

More Eric Johnson stories

The Name’s Penis. Jessica Penis.

Jessica Simpson loves having a penis for a last name. More »


Jessica Simpson To Christie Brinkley: ‘You Made My Husband Jizz LOL’

Jessica Simpson is a case study in classy. More »


Jessica Simpson Was Christie Brinkley For Halloween? Why Not?

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson didn’t even hire Rick Baker? Heidi Klum will have them for breakfast. More »


Jessica Simpson Apparently Saw ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson star in #FIFTYSHADESOFJOHNSON. (Yup, you just read that.) More »


Someone Invited Jessica Simpson To ‘The Hunger Games’ Premiere

The Hunger Games is about a dystopian future where the rich eat all of the food leaving the poor to starve unless they shoot each other in the dicks with bows and arrows. Those words also describe every Tuesday night at the Chili’s near Jessica Simpson’s house. Are you seeing the irony now?

More »


Jessica Simpson’s Baby Is High As Shit

Everybody shut up about everything: Eric Johnson throwing Jessica Simpson’s baby 80 feet in the air is your new shiny object. Is it the cutest thing ever, or the launchpad for a thousand mommy blog posts on child tossing? The world’s your oyster here. As for me, I’m using it to link to photos of… More »


That’s Jessica Johnson To You

Because weird Instagram photos that she actually thinks are sexy is Jessica Simpson’s new bag, here she is announcing to the word that she’s Jessica Johnson now. Which seems sad at first, until you realize there’s no possible way anyone could’ve explained what a mark is without her going, “Haha! That’s a boy’s name.” Then… More »


Jessica Simpson Got Married

Because I work in celebrity gossip, I’m obligated to inform you that Jessica Simpson married Eric Johnson this weekend who apparently couldn’t content himself with buckets of child support from two kids, and had to go for the alimony, too. Somewhere, Kevin Federline just saluted by holding a chicken wing to his forehead. That being… More »


Good Morning, Jessica Simpson, And Other News

- Jennifer Lopez admits she used to pick out Ben Affleck’s outfits. [Lainey Gossip]

– One of the Duggar kids got married, so congratulations, America. Our population just doubled. [Dlisted]

- A Woman’s Back Is A Beautiful Thing [theCHIVE]

– Whoever’s doing this shit to Chrissy Teigen should be… More »


There’s The Jessica Simpson I Remember

If it seems like I keep going back and forth between thinking Jessica Simpson looks fucking fantastic and terrifying, you’re already putting way too much mental energy into a post that’s 800% about her boob window. Case in point: All these words are just to make it look like I actually do something around here. More »


Page 1 of 5