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The Shannon Twins Got In A DUI Accident Trying To Get Nipple Rings

Karissa and Kristina Shannon almost killed themselves and anyone else on the road trying to get nipple rings. Winning at life: ACHIEVED.

Mike Redmond |

John Stamos Got A DUI

John Stamos was busted for DUI Friday night. The Olsen Twins are not to be trifled with.

Mike Redmond |

Jose Canseco’s Hot 18-Year-Old Daughter Got A DUI

Jose Canseco’s daughter is hot. Oh, and something about a DUI. It’s not important.

Mike Redmond |

Michael Phelps Arrested For DUI

Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was arrested this morning for DUI after driving almost 40 mph over the speed limit while almost twice the legal limit. TMZ reports:

Our sources tell us … the USA Olympic legend was pulled over around 1:40 AM in his white Land Rover. We’re told he bombed his field…

Mike Redmond |

The Old Amanda Bynes Is Back

I gave Amanda Bynes’ parents a lot of shit about their conservatorship because they seemed to be more concerned about her money and a little too quick to blame everything on weed instead of admitting she has a severe mental illness. However, to their credit, they did manage to keep her under wraps without a…

Mike Redmond |

Jennifer Lopez & Leah Remini Hit By Drunk Driver

According to Jennifer Lopez’s Instagram, she has a butt. And while that seems as good a place as any to wrap this post up because its work here is done, she also apparently got hit by a drunk driver on Saturday while sitting at a red light with Leah Remini and their kids in the…

Mike Redmond |

There Are 800 Hours of Justin Bieber Saying N*gger

Yesterday saw the release of another Justin Bieber video where he sits in front of a camera repeatedly saying the word nigger while not a goddamn person stops him. In one case, it sounds a hell of a lot like his own mom is egging him on which makes sense coming from a woman who…

Mike Redmond |

Y’All’s About To See Justin #Bbare’s DANGALANG

Parentally it’s your berfdays because y’all’s about to see my boy B-Bare whippin’ his dick out and pissin’ all over da police.. station toilet where my jigga did hard time for lightin’ da streets a Miami on fire with yo mama’s panties. Thirty Mile Zizzone:

Law enforcement sources tell us … they fully…

Mike Redmond |

Don’t Be Rollin’ Up on Justin #Bbare Talkin’ Bout No Plea Deal Like You Got Somethin’

It’s been a mothafuckin’ minute since I broke it off to you ’bout my boy Justin B-BARE, Canada’s original, harder den a Maple Leaf sons of anarchy who be racin’ dem honies and bangin’ dem cars, so let me brings you all up to speed on Da Hosin’ You With Dat Syrup One as he…

Mike Redmond |

All Hail The New Teflon Don of Pop, Y’All! #CantTouchThis #RuffRyda #RODNEYKING

Last week, the Miami PD thought they could snatch up the realest real Numba One Stunna in the middle of working his Lambo game, but what them fools didn’t realize is that they tried to contain a mothafuckin’ deity inbused with the power of Michael all up in dat ass. Just straight up in there.

Mike Redmond |

Justin Bieber Rolled Over On His Mom?!! #DAAAAAMNN #calljerry

As the inescapable, innumerable, predeterminable saga of Justin Bieber, The Mephistopheles of Murda-Town, unfolds WORLDWIDE, welcome to the icest, ice-cold chapter of Ice-Man’s big balla brotha, motherfucking Freeze-Bone, because #disnigga here just rolled over on his moms. HIS OWN MOMS. Tupac and Biggie ain’t even that cold. Crack it off, TMZ:

Law enforcement…

Mike Redmond |

Aw, Shit, Here Comes The Hardest Motherf*cker On The Planet

When you hire a lawyer like Roy Black who famously helped William Kennedy Smith duck rape charges in 1991, so I have no idea why Justin Bieber would have his number on hand, none at all, you should probably be very concerned if he doesn’t tell you to roll down your fucking sleeves and stop…

Mike Redmond |

Justin Bieber Actually Told The Cops He Was High On Weed, Pills, And Booze

Let me break you off a little something you probably don’t know about B-Bare: Motherfucker’s so balla, he’ll snitch on his self. TMZ reports:

Officials held a news conference and said, “[Justin] made statements he had consumed some alcohol, been smoking marijuana and consumed some prescription medication.”

But don’t be frontin’

Mike Redmond |

Justin Bieber Got Arrested For DUI

Aww yeah, B-Bare’s up in you, Miami, and shit is poppin’ OFF. Models. Clubs. Street racing, POH-LECE. The numba one WILD KID is straight yolking dem asses. Make some NOOOOOOOOISSE. TMZ reports:

We’re told Bieber had just left a club and was driving a yellow Lamborghini at the time cops spotted him in…

Mike Redmond |

The Paparazzi Made Dina Lohan Drive Drunk

Dina Lohan was arrested for DUI back in September, and in that time she’s managed to hire Lindsay’s old moron lawyer Mark Heller who’s now using his moron skills to blame the paparazzi for Dina’s DUI. And, no, not for chasing her or causing a life-threatening situation, but just for existing in general which is…

Mike Redmond |

Dina Lohan’s Using Lindsay’s Old Moron Lawyer To Fight Her DUI Arrest, Of Course

Two weeks ago, Dina Lohan was arrested for DUI after blowing over twice the legal limit, so naturally she just plead not guilty to those charges because the first rule of being a Lohan is living in a fantasy land of your own creation where actions have no consequences. Which is also probably why she…

Mike Redmond |

Dina Lohan Finally Got A DUI

After finally getting around to letting Seaside Heights feel His wrath for Jersey Shore, God also took the time last night to make sure Dina Lohan was yanked off the road which He admits went on way too long. “Honestly, I thought a tree would’ve stepped in here by now, but they’ve always been lazy,…

Mike Redmond |

Lamar Odom Got Arrested For DUI

In case any of you were wondering how things are going for Lamar Odom with all this drugs and divorce business, shitty. As shitty as fucking possible. TMZ reports:

Lamar Odom was arrested for “driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs” early Friday morning … TMZ has learned.
The bust occurred…

Mike Redmond |

The Cop’s Dashboard Cam Recorded Reese Witherspoon’s Arrest. Yes.

Posted by Photo Boy

Remember when just reading the transcript for when Reese Witherspoon drunkenly freaked out on a cop was great? Well, the dash cam video from the cruiser (with clear audio) is even better because holy shit does chardonnay turn Reese into a surly diva. There’s even a part where she…

Carmen Ribecca |

Reese Witherspoon Is Sorry She Got Drunk And Played The ‘Do You Know Who I Am?’ Card

Seen here remarkably showing up to a screening of Mud last night, the same day news exploded all over the Internet that she and her husband were arrested for DUI and being a drunken crazy woman respectively, Reese Witherspoon would like to apologize for the following hilarious actions. Variety reports:

Toth was pulled…

Mike Redmond |
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